NFL woe: Send lawyers, guns and money, maybe not the guns

By April MacIntyre Dec 3, 2008, 19:43 GMT

Knucklehead New York Giants player Plaxico Burress nearly killed himself at the club... EPA/TANNEN MAURY

You are blessed with an ability to fire a ball down the field with alarming accuracy or run like the wind.  Enough so that millions and millions of dollars are heaped upon your head barely out of high school.

Who could screw that up?

Get in line for the NFL's latest cock-ups who can't seem manage themselves.

The latest suspended players (for drug violations) announced are running back Deuce McAllister and defensive linemen Charles Grant and Will Smith of New Orleans; defensive linemen Kevin and Pat Williams of Minnesota; and long snapper Bryan Pittman of Houston. 

The men were punished for using a diuretic, allegedly a common masking agent for steroids.

These players suspensions are on the heels of wide receiver Plaxico Burress's troubles; the player took a loaded gun into a club last weekend and luckily only shot himself in the leg. 

Today ESPN released the names of the suspended six players, "the heart of the Minnesota Vikings' stout defensive line" who were suspended for four games without pay by the NFL on Tuesday for violating the league's anti-doping policy.

"I definitely was not trying to cheat in any form," McAllister told The Associated Press in a phone interview. "I tried to do everything the right way."

The punishment means all six will miss the end of the regular season.

In a phone interview on ESPN, Pittman said he "was not on board with the injunction," which would allow him to play. He said he plans to serve the four-game suspension and come back next year..

"In response to this afternoon's ruling, the Minnesota Vikings are very disappointed in the National Football League's suspension of Kevin and Pat Williams," the team said in a statement. "At the appropriate time, we will have further comment."

In the Plaxico Burress case, there is new information that charges may be leveled against the doctor who treated the New York Giant for a gunshot wound, as well as one of the player's teammates, for their complicity and silence that police say they faced when they tried to investigate the athlete's accidental shooting of himself with a .40 Cal. Glock semi-automatic pistol, according to ABC News.

According to ABC News, a female doctor not on staff at the Cornell Hospital treated Burress for the thigh wound may face charges for failing to file a mandatory report the treatment of a gunshot wound.

ABC reports that Burress registered at the hospital under the alias Harris Smith.

Also in the crosshairs are members of Burress' entourage, the New York Giants organization, or another member of the NFL or Giants organization for a variety of alleged infractions related to the shooting incident which involved an illegal handgun, according to ABC News.