Whitney had a lot going on this week on My Big Fat Fabulous Life.
She wasn’t sure she would get the job covering for LauRen during her maternity leave (she did).
She thought she hadn’t turned on the microphone for the interviews she conducted at Gay Pride (she had).
She had to invite her ex-boyfriend to her housewarming party (more on that later).
Oh, and she has a new dance rival. Lot going on for the girl.
But the one thing that sucked up all her time, her attention, and her hopes and dreams?
Not getting dressed up like a Long Island Iced Tea, though that was clever AF.
No, the one thing destroying Whitney was a boy. Literally, a boy — Roy, her boss at The Maney, LauRen and Roy Morning Show, is 24.
But even if Roy is just a kid, he isn’t so young he has no idea that he’s yanking Whitney’s chain on national television.
Though it all ends in an awkward car wreck of a lunch date, Roy does get some credit for admitting early on that he had a girlfriend (which Whitney didn’t believe until she sat down with him face-to-face) and even apologizing to Whitney for leading her on.
While Whitney has an excellent point — that a guy inviting you to touch his eyelashes to experience how lush they are is not respecting appropriate work boundaries, and filling up her phone with cute text messages does make the presence of an actual girlfriend seem either improbable or gross (let’s see if Roy has a girlfriend after this episode airs) — sometimes it’s important to listen to what a person is telling you.
Roy said he had a girlfriend, and even if she sounded vague enough to be the description of an anime character, he did say it.
Whitney doesn’t show the best judgment in seeking to lick her wounds by going shopping with her mom.
When Babs sighs deeply at the prospect of having to comfort her daughter yet again (it’s her life’s work, don’t you know!) and admits she just can’t wrap her head around the idea that her daughter doesn’t have a man — because she (Babs) has always had one — it’s pretty much not worth the possibility of getting a secondhand lamp for the bedroom.
All of this drama came on the heels of yet another ding in Whitney’s armor.
Having a housewarming party probably seemed like a good idea. Asking everyone to dress as a cocktail was definitely clever.
But being dressed as a Long Island Iced Tea (complete with baseball cap and goatee) when your ex-boyfriend waltzes in with his new flame (dressed as a sexy Bloody Mary, natch) is enough to take the wind out of anyone’s sails.
Maybe it’s a good thing that Whitney’s Big Girl Dance Class now has a rivalry to give the girl something else to worry about.
When Jiya from Trophy Wife Fitness calls into the radio show to talk to Whitney, it seems as if she’s just trying to be friendly.
Come to my studio! Let’s be friends! Kiss-kiss!
But when Jiya and her trolls show up to Whitney’s largely unattended performance at the folk festival (not sure why a folk festival wanted a bunch of girls to dance to hip-hop while wearing cowboy gear, but there you go), it’s game on.
Jiya insults Whitney’s choreography, her dancers, and her skills — and clearly has been watching too many episodes of The Bachelor.
Yes, being an insensitive bitch keeps you on TV a bit longer, but Jiya should remember bad girls never make it past the hometown dates, if that far.
Jiya may think any publicity is good publicity, but coming on to Whitney’s show for a showdown?
I’m pretty sure I know who the winner will be. On the bright side, even if Whitney can’t win in love, at least this battle should be a lock.