Smallscreen News

Two and a Half Meh, why Kutcher's Walden doesn't matter

By April MacIntyre Sep 20, 2011, 12:52 GMT

PASS 05/18/2011 - Jon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher and Angus T. Jones - 2011 CBS Upfront - Arrivals - The Tent at Lincoln Center - New York City, NY, USA © Janet Mayer / PR Photos

Mediocrity in television continues as the Chuck Lorre comedy that America loves has killed the golden goose (Charlie Sheen) and introduced a character so bland and incidental, it will be interesting to see how the cast chemistry evolves over time.

A bearded and grunged up Ashton Kutcher has slotted into Sheen's old spot, as the new season of “Two and a Half Men” opened last night with a coffin and Alan (Jon Cryer) giving a eulogy for dear old departed Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen).

The funeral is filled with the road kill of Harper's indiscriminate couplings and the predictable Herpes, genital warts and other charming STD's are shouted out by a female audience: “He gave me herpes,” “Chlamydia,” and another chiming in, “Vaginal warts.”

The demise of Charlie Harper happens in Paris, as he slips and is hit by an on-coming train.

Charlie’s ashes are sent to their apartment in the mail. Because that's how cremains are normally dispersed or is this just more Lorre penned shivs to a star who gave him such tsores last year? 

Alan, of course, drops Harper's cremated remains and like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, the dust cloud is the opener for Kutcher's lovelorn Walden Schmidt to appear.

If fart jokes, hacky comedy writing and juvenile humor are your bag, you probably live for this show.

Thank goodness for the rest of us there are comedies like "Louie," "Eastbound & Down" and "Wilfred" to entertain.  For the milder set I would recommend "Hot in Cleveland." Even "Two Broke Girls" on CBS is head and shoulders better than their flagship "Two and a Half Men."