Smallscreen News

Khloe Kardashian, Dick Van Dyke interview on Leno, May 11 (VIDEO)

By April MacIntyre May 12, 2011, 1:53 GMT

04/04/2011 - Khloe Kardashian Odom - Khloe Kardashian Odom and Lamar Odom\'s "Unbreakable" Fragrance Launch - The Redbury Hotel - Hollywood, CA, USA © Allen Berezovsky / PR Photos

Tonight on Jay Leno's chatter, Khloe Kardashian talks about the Lakers choke and her husband Lamar Odom, and Dick Van Dyke reunites with Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and talks about being in a love triangle. Khloe Kardashian confirms that she is not pregnant.

JAY LENO’S MONOLOGUE HIGHLIGHTS  WEDNESDAY, MAY 11, 2011

I’M SORRY IF I SEEM A LITTLE TIRED. I DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT. AT ABOUT TWO O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING THERE WAS POUNDING ON MY DOOR. I OPENED THE DOOR AND IT'S SCHWARZENEGGER WITH HIS SUITCASE... "CAN I SLEEP ON YOUR COUCH?”

WERE YOU AS DISAPPOINTED AS I WAS TO HEAR THEY WERE SEPARATING?  I WAS SAD TO HEAR THAT.  I THINK THEY WILL GET BACK TOGETHER CAUSE I THINK SHE IS GOING TO MISS HIM.  LIKE WHEN SHE HAS TO OPEN A JAR…

YESTERDAY PRESIDENT OBAMA GAVE A BIG SPEECH AT THE U.S./MEXICO BORDER.   THE PRESIDENT CALLED FOR CREATING A PATHWAY TO CITIZENSHIP FOR IMMIGRANTS.  WE ALREADY HAVE PATHWAYS, THEY'RE CALLED TUNNELS. THEY ARE RIGHT UNDER WHERE YOU ARE STANDING.  THERE’S LIKE A MILLION OF THEM. 

ACCORDING TO A NEW AP POLL, PRESIDENT OBAMA'S APPROVAL RATING HAS GONE UP ALL BECAUSE WE SHOT BIN LADEN.  ACTUALLY, IT DIDN’T GO UP NEARLY AS HIGH AS DICK CHENEY’S WHEN HE SHOT THAT LAWYER.  ANYTIME YOU SHOOT A LAWYER YOU’RE GOING TO GO UP.

WE ARE LEARNING MORE AND MORE ABOUT OSAMA BIN LADEN—DOCTORS SAY BECAUSE OF A HIGH SALT DIET HE HAD A PROBLEM OF ALWAYS RETAINING WATER.   HE THOUGHT HE WAS RETAINING WATER BEFORE!

THE PRESIDENTIAL RACE IS GETTING INTERESTING.  IN AN EFFORT TO CLEAR UP HIS REPUTATION AS A FLIP FLOPPER, MITT ROMNEY WILL GIVE A SPEECH TOMORROW ON HEALTH CARE.  AND THEN, RIGHT AFTER, HE WILL GIVE THE FIVE MINUTE REBUTTAL.

HAVE YOU LOOKED AT SOME OF THESE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES?  YOU HAVE GARY JOHNSON, FROM NEW MEXICO, HE WANTS TO LEGALIZE DRUGS.  YOU HAVE RON PAUL WHO WANTS TO LEGALIZE PROSTITUTION.  YOU HAVE NEWT GINGRICH, WHO ADMITS TO COMMITTING ADULTERY AT LEAST TWICE.  THESE GUYS ARE DETERMINED TO PUT THE WORD PARTY BACK IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.  THIS IS A WHOLE NEW THING.

MCDONALD'S IS UNDERGOING A HUGE BILLION-DOLLAR MAKEOVER OF ALL THEIR RESTAURANTS.  THEY SAY THEY WANT TO BE MORE LIKE STARBUCKS… YOU KNOW, SNOBBY, OVER PRICED, AND FULL OF UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS?  MANY DOCTORS NOW BELIEVE BREASTFEEDING CAN REDUCE CHILDHOOD OBESITY. IS THAT PRACTICAL, BREASTFEEDING TO REDUCE CHILDHOOD OBESITY? YOU THOUGHT IT WAS EMBARRASSING WHEN YOUR MOTHER BROUGHT YOUR LUNCH TO SCHOOL BEFORE.  “MOM!!!”

THIS WEEK, MILLIONS OF FORD TRUCKS WERE RECALLED BECAUSE THERE'S A PROBLEM WITH THE FUEL TANK.  THEIR EMPTY!  NOBODY'S GOT A $110 BUCKS TO FILL IT UP!  THAT’S THE PROBLEM.

LIKE HER MOTHER, BRISTOL PALIN IS GETTING HER OWN REALITY SHOW.  I BELIEVE IT’S CALLED “NO, I WON’T JUST GO AWAY!”

MICK JAGGER'S DAUGHTER POSING NUDE IN NEXT MONTH'S PLAYBOY MAGAZINE.  HERE’S THE AMAZING PART  -- SHE IS 72 YEARS OLD.  SHE STILL LOOKS GOOD.

Khloe