Smallscreen News

Jennifer Lopez interview on Leno (VIDEO)

By April MacIntyre May 10, 2011, 2:54 GMT

05/03/2011 - Jennifer Lopez - Jennifer Lopez "LOVE?" CD Signing at the Hollywood and Highland Courtyard in Los Angeles on May 3, 2011 - Hollywood and Highland Courtyard - Los Angeles, CA, USA © MISSB / PR Photos

Tonight on Jay Leno, Jennifer Lopez talks about a special Mother's Day and "Modern Family" star Jesse Tyler talks about how Eric Stonestreet's White House tour was canceled because of the Bin Laden news. BC Jeans performs.

JAY LENO’S MONOLOGUE HIGHLIGHTS MONDAY, MAY 9, 2011

I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A NICE MOTHER’S DAY WEEKEND.  DID YOU ALL SEE PRESIDENT OBAMA ON “60 MINUTES” LAST NIGHT?  PRETTY COMPELLING.  HE SAID WHEN THEY STORMED BIN LADEN’S COMPOUND IT WAS THE LONGEST 40 MINUTES OF HIS LIFE.  AND MIND YOU, THAT’S COMING FROM A GUY WHO HAS TO LISTEN TO JOE BIDEN.

WE LEARNED A LOT OF TRIVIAL INFORMATION ABOUT BIN LADEN, AS WELL.  YOU KNOW WHAT HIS FAVORITE VIDEO GAME WAS?  ANGRY KURDS.  DID YOU KNOW THAT?

THEY'VE RELEASED SOME OF OSAMA BIN LADEN'S HOME MOVIES.    IN MOST OF THE FOOTAGE BIN LADEN IS JUST WATCHING HIMSELF ON TV.  THAT’S WHAT HE DOES.  LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT: HE’S HAD A BUNCH OF WIVES, LIVED IN A HUGE ESTATE, LIKES TO WATCH HIMSELF ON TV?  HE’S LIKE THE DONALD TRUMP OF PAKISTAN!  JUST LIKE TRUMP!

POOR SARAH PALIN.  I DON’T THINK SHE UNDERSTANDS.  LIKE TODAY WHEN SHE FOUND OUT BIN LADEN HAD THREE WIVES, SHE SAID, "HE'S MORMON?"

THEY WILL NOT RELEASE ANY PHOTOS BECAUSE THEY'RE CONSIDERED TOO GRUESOME. NOT OF BIN LADEN, OF LAST NIGHT'S LAKER GAME.  WHAT HAPPENED THERE?

THE LAKERS GOT KILLED.  SWEPT BY THE…SWEPT!  THEY DIDN’T GET SWEPT…THEY GOT VACUUMED, MOPPED UP, PUT IN BAGS, AND PUT OUT BY THE CURB.  122 TO 86!

IT IS SO BAD FOR THE LAKERS RIGHT NOW THAT A LOT OF WOMEN ARE SUING THE PLAYERS TO DENY PATERNITY.  “HE IS NOT THE FATHER.”

KHLOE KARDASHIAN IS NOW DENYING THAT SHE EVEN KNOWS LAMAR.  “LOOK, I MET HIM A COUPLE OF TIMES…”

IN FACT, YESTERDAY TWO USC STUDENTS WENT UP TO THE ROOF TO HAVE SEX AND THEY FOUND HALF A DOZEN LAKER FANS WAITING TO JUMP OFF.  THAT’S HOW BAD.

ACCORDING TO THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, MEN CRY MORE AS THEY GET OLDER.  ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY REACH RETIREMENT AGE AND HAVE TO WORK AS A GREETER AT WALMART.

HERE’S A NICE STORY; A HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR FROM ILLINOIS HAS BEEN WORKING SINCE LAST FEBRUARY DESIGNING, CUTTING, AND SEWING THE DRESS HIS GIRLFRIEND IS GOING TO WEAR TO THEIR PROM. I BELIEVE THIS MARKS THE FIRST TIME A HIGH SCHOOL BOY HAS SPENT MORE TIME TRYING TO GET HIS DATE INTO HER PROM DRESS THAN OUT OF IT!

ACCORDING TO A NEW SEX REPORT THE AVERAGE SEX ACT LASTS 7 MINUTES. RIGHT NOW HOW MANY WOMEN ARE GOING, “HEY SOMEBODY OWES ME SIX MORE MINUTES. HELLO!  SOMEBODY OWES ME SIX MORE MINUTES.”