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Celebrity Apprentice Recap: Donald Trump is not a gay man, 'The Johns' prevail

By April MacIntyre May 9, 2011, 15:37 GMT

This guy will not break- John Rich - 45th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards - Arrivals - MGM Grand Garden Arena - Las Vegas, NV, USA © Bob Charlotte / PR Photos

NBC's Celebrity Apprentice is down to the bare bones, with Star Jones fired AND NeNe Leakes self-combusting and pulling a Casper the Ghost herself.

And LaToya? Fired too, in fact it was a trifecta of women last night, as Meat Loaf had about three separate emotional breakdowns and nearly throttled Star when she did the talk to the hand raised dismissal and said "when you come at me with MY credentials then I will argue with you," ohh snap move. 

Meat was not going to let Star dismiss him, and before he channeled Rocky Horror's "Eddie" character, Trump called him back to the board room.

For posterity, I predicted John Rich would win this season way back February 26.

How we got there.

LaToya returns to the fold after Hope's firing, and Marlee Matlin feels the teams are unbalanced.  Side note: Hope let her hair down with AOL's Rob Shuter and just trashed the show, in case you missed it

Trump brings the teams to the Gotham Comedy Club, and he switches Meat Loaf to ASAP and NeNe to Backbone's Team.

Tasked with producing and promoting a comedy show with three comedians each. The teams must sell out the house and make the most money for charity.

Ivanka Trump and Mad Money Jim Cramer are the advisors.LaToya is elected the Backbone Project Manager. Meat Loaf is the ASAP Project Manager.

In the meantime, NeNe disappears like a fart in the wind, and LaToya manages the team anyway, and the John's (John Rich and Lil Jon) start cranking the calls to raise money. Rich has a wide circle of deep pocketed pals including Jimmy Fallon. LaToya tells Ivanka that NeNe is MIA.

NeNe is angry about the "Star" special treatment and how Trump accommodates her. Then she leaves her team in the lurch and quits! No scenes, no drama and poof, gone. Trump is infuriated as we find out later.

Fallon plays the club and sings the song country style called "You're Fired." He kills as per usual.

Tracy Morgan is taped for their show. Meatloaf raises a lot of money from the Painted Turtle sponsors so he is sweating losing this challenge and that money. He worries that the money will go to LaToya's charity if he loses. He starts to unravel. He forgets his lines, and he is now transported to that highly emotional and unstable place he gets, it's unnerving.

The results

The NeNe debacle is addressed by Trump who announces NeNe is gone but everyone is now worried about Meat Loaf. He is balling at this point.

Marlee calls Meat Loaf a gem and thinks he is a keeper, as does bug eyed Jim Cramer who looks at Trump before he says anything throughout the whole boardroom segment.

Trump says NeNe is fired, "a quitter" and that Star Jones kicked her ass.

The teams each feel good about their performances and no one is saying any unkind things this time around.

John cannot take Meat Loaf's crying anymore, and he says that as a friend he will match the donation if his team loses. He will take money out of his own pocket and make sure Painted Turtle is not stiffed. Meat Loaf breaks down at this point.

Team ASAP earned $102, 080. Team Backbone won $82,500.

Meat Loaf is Niagara Falls with the crying and they all hug and leave Backbone to hear their fate.

LaToya believes that they had simply "drained" their rich pals, and says her team did well and did everything she asked.

John Rich thanks Trump for bringing the country and hip hop fans closer together by showing how the two men became close friends.

Lil' Jon says it all falls back on the Project Manager when put on the spot by Trump.

LaToya is then fired after Trump blathers about how she elevated her game.

As she leaves, she talks about how wonderful the experience it was, no drama or vitriol.

Star celebrates with the Johns and then says "do not mistake kindness for weakness."

Next assignment: OnStar.

The company wants a produced video promo for OnStar's new portable product, which will be sold in Best Buy.

They will be judged on creativity, originality, integration and brand messaging.

Team ASAP takes Marlee and Team Backbone selects John. The winner gets $40,000 for the project winner's charity.

After the creative team meeting with the company chiefs, Backbone begins their work. John has a sinus infection and has writer's block and Lil' Jon helps him create the tag, Discover On, and they begin their script.

Lil' Jon dominates the visual creative and puts the editor in a minor tizzy with his special effects requests for falling vehicles.

Marlee finds out that the police are used with OnStar as Meat Loaf asks if it can be installed on bikes. The execs look pained at their meeting.

Meat Loaf runs over Star and takes the creative reins and runs with a story about a cop who helps a woman find her car, then donuts. Somehow a skateboarder is in this mess.

Star is now off her game as the branding message is lost in the visual, and she cannot steamroller Meat and the strain of this shows.

Don Jr. visits them to see where they stand. Marlee tells Don her team has two different mindsets. Don is concerned that Meat Loaf is so in charge.

Star focuses on the logo and brand messaging.

Their commercial somehow comes together, and is light on the product integration.

Team Backbone's video is more to the point and loaded with product integration, but one scene has a woman with no seatbelt.

Jon and John love their commercial and do not care for Meat Loaf's. The other team likes the John's effort. Bottom line, so does OnStar, who selects Backbone. Backbone earns $40,000 more dollars for St. Jude, leaving Meat Loaf, Marlee and Star to fight to the finish.

Marlee is disappointed but blames Meat Loaf for not fitting in with her and Star's team shorthand.

Star refuses to take the blame for the final editing and the box being left out.

Marlee and Star want Meat Loaf to be fired, and Trump sends them out of the room but not before commenting on how good Meat Loaf looks, then he tempers the remark saying, “I think gayness is wonderful, frankly, but I’m not a gay man.”

Meatloaf defends his case, saying Star knew what was on the disk and it was her job to add what was supposed to be on there. Therefore, he thinks Star should be fired. This causes an argument between them. When the Donald sends them out of the room so he can consider his options, Star and Meat Loaf duke it out in the "Amanda" lobby. Meat calls Star “Sweetie” and it was on like Donkey Kong.

Everyone knows that using a word like that is a dick move, it's condescending to use honey, baby, sugar, sweetie, doll or darlin' when arguing with someone. When the sweetie issue is brought up, Trump sides with Meat Loaf and blasts all "this PC crap" and then Star is fired.

This was an especially tiresome edition, and I still believe John Rich is the winner of this thing. What say you all?

Ep 410: La Toya, You’re Fired – Again Trump explains to La Toya that she's breaking yet another record on the show

Ep 411: Star, You’re fired Star fights for her life in the Boardroom

Next On: Retro Rumble All of the former Celebrity Apprentice winners return to help narrow the final four to the final two!