Smallscreen News

Christina Aguilera interview on Leno, (VIDEO)

By April MacIntyre Apr 26, 2011, 5:16 GMT

03/15/2011 - Christina Aguilera - NBC\'s "The Voice" Press Conference - A Center Studios, 1201 W. 5th Street - Los Angeles, CA, USA © Andrew Evans / PR Photos

Tonight Christina Aguilera drops in on Jay Leno, and says tales of her divorce, forgetting lyrics and stumbling is all part of advice she gives on NBC's new series, "The Voice."

Monday, April 25, also sees Paul Reiser stops by to talk about his new book and Alison Krauss performs.

JAY LENO’S MONOLOGUE MONDAY, APRIL 25, 2011

PRESIDENT OBAMA'S APPROVAL RATING HAS FALLEN AGAIN. NOT GOOD.  IT SO BAD TODAY AT THE EASTER EGG ROLL, INSTEAD OF ROLLING THE EGGS THE KIDS EGGED THE WHITE HOUSE.  THAT IS NOT GOOD.

TODAY WAS THE BIG EASTER EGG ROLL…  IT WAS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THIS YEAR; EVERY TIME ONE OF THE KIDS WOULD FIND AN EGG FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA WOULD MAKE THEM TRADE IT IN FOR A LOW CHOLESTEROL EGGBEATER.  KIDS WEREN’T THAT EXCITED.

ACTUALLY, THERE WAS SOMETHING LIKE SIX THOUSAND EGGS.  DO YOU KNOW WHO PREPARED THE EGGS FOR TODAY'S WHITE HOUSE EASTER EGG ROLL? YOU KNOW WHO PAINTED THEM?  THIS IS TRUE; EX-CONS.  THEY HAD EX-CONVICTS DO ALL THE EGGS.  SO IT’S NICE TO SEE THE WHITE HOUSE REACHING OUT TO FORMER MEMBERS OF CONGRESS

BECAUSE OF WHAT’S HAPPENED IN JAPAN A LOT OF PEOPLE HERE ARE WORRIED ABOUT THE SAFETY OF AMERICA’S NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS.  BUT IT’S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT HERE IN THE U.S. WE HAVE NEVER HAD A FULL MELTDOWN – WE CAME CLOSE WITH CHARLIE SHEEN.  BUT WE’VE NEVER HAD THE WHOLE THING…

TOUGH NEWS FOR CHARLIE; ONE OF HIS SO-CALLED “GODDESSES”…YOU KNOW ONE OF THOSE GIRLS HE TAKES ON TOUR WITH HIM, WELL SHE’S QUIT.  BREE OLSON HAS BROKEN UP WITH HIM.  THAT’S NOT GOOD WHEN WHORES TELL YOU “I LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND.”  THAT’S NOT WINNING!

DONALD TRUMP TOLD FOX AND FRIENDS HE'S BEING ATTACKED BY THE WHITE HOUSE BECAUSE HE'S PRESIDENT OBAMA'S WORST NIGHTMARE. YOU THINK THAT’S TRUE?  NO…  HAVING TO MAKE A DECISION – THAT'S PRESIDENT OBAMA'S WORST NIGHTMARE!

WHAT COULD BE A PROBLEM FOR DONALD TRUMP…I LOVE THIS.  THE NEW YORK CITY BOARD OF ELECTIONS SAYS THAT TRUMP HASN’T VOTED IN A PRIMARY ELECTION IN 21 YEARS.  OF COURSE HE HASN’T VOTED IN 21 YEARS, HE’S NAME WASN’T ON THE BALLOT.  HE’S NOT GOING TO VOTE IF HIS NAME IS NOT ON THE BALLOT.

HOW ABOUT THAT TORNADO THAT RIPPED THROUGH ST. LOUIS AIRPORT.  DID YOU SEE THAT?  THAT WAS PRETTY SCARY.  IT TORE THE ROOF RIGHT OFF BUILDINGS.  PEOPLE WERE TERRIFIED. THEY’RE NOT USED TO THE ROOF COMING OFF UNTIL THEY GET ON THEIR SOUTHWEST FLIGHT.

DID YOU SEE THE DAMAGE?  THE WHOLE AIRPORT…NOT THE WHOLE AIRPORT…BUT PRETTY BAD.  HERE’S THE AMAZING PART THOUGH; THE AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS SLEPT RIGHT THROUGH IT.

THIS WAS IN THE PAPER TODAY; THERE'S NOW A NATIONWIDE SHORTAGE OF ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER DRUGS. THE FDA SAYS THEY'RE NOT SURE HOW IT HAPPENED. I GUESS SOMEBODY WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.

I LOVE THIS; FLORIDA MAY OUTLAW BAGGY LOW RIDING PANTS ON  KIDS….  WHAT IS IT WITH PANTS IN FLORIDA?  THE KIDS WEAR THEM DOWN HERE…THE OLD GUYS ARE WEARING THEM UP HERE.  IS THERE ANYBODY IN FLORIDA WEARING PANTS AROUND THEIR WAIST?

THIS IS INTERESTING; A NEW STUDY ABOUT HAPPINESS SHOWS THAT YOU’RE HAPPY WHEN YOU’RE YOUNG, THE LEAST HAPPY IN MIDDLE AGE, AND HAPPY AGAIN IN RETIREMENT. YOU'RE THE LEAST HAPPY IN MIDDLE AGE. ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE MIDDLE AGED RIGHT NOW AND REALIZE YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO RETIRE.  YOU’RE ACTUALLY PISSED OFF NOW.

DISNEY IS NOW BUILDING A THEME PARK IN CHINA—WHICH MEANS ONE DAY CHINESE CHILDREN WILL BE ABLE TO GO TO DISNEY GIFT SHOP AND BUY TOYS THEY MADE THEMSELVES!  BEAUTIFUL STORY.

THERE IS NOW A WEBSITE SELLING SOMETHING CALLED “ABSTINENCE PANTIES” FOR TEENAGE GIRLS TO HELP KEEP THEM FROM GETTING PREGNANT.  THE PANTIES HAVE SAYINGS ON THEM LIKE “ZIP IT," OR "NOT TONIGHT" OR "DREAM ON". DAD’S LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING; IF A GUY IS CLOSE ENOUGH TO READ THE PANTIES, IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE.