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Celebrity Apprentice extinguishes Richard Hatch's Tiki torch, some thoughts

By April MacIntyre Apr 4, 2011, 6:21 GMT

Richard Hatch - Las Vegas, NV, USA © PRN / PR Photos

Never did watch "Survivor" when Richard Hatch was on it.

I saw enough previews to know he was naked quite a bit; then the fallout of his tax situation seemed dire, and then real time in prison was served by Hatch.

But like a nice chunk of well-seasoned Haggis, he was dug up by Mark Burnett and recycled yet again for his "Celebrity Apprentice" series starring Donald Trump.

The Scots are thrifty that way it seems.

Well, tonight saw Sugar Ray's Mark McGrath put Meat Loaf in check from his "Rocky Horror" Eddie meltdown over suspected finger paint thievery by the one and only Gary Busey. The show has reached the nadir of what celebrities will do to "raise money for charity" and keep their mugs in front of a camera, lest we forget them and they fall into the Tara Reid abyss.  The "stolen" paints were then discovered (post Apocalyptic Meat Loaf meltdown) in a bag against a wall. Awkward.

In my bones I think Star Jones is going to win this. Some people were born to cook, model, race cars...Star was born to play mental chess. She's slick, and NeNe knows it, and it's a kick in her Kishkas.

I'm sure that NeNe considered herself the crafty tactician on Bravo's "Real Housewives of Atlanta."  It's hard to face someone who has your game beat every which way from Sunday. Poor LaToya, she is trying so hard to play the demure lady card, and the promos for next week show that the nice card will be ripped up like Hope's regular bikini waxes.  And Marlee, well, at least she doesn't have to hear most of the nonsense.  It will be interesting to see how the ladies throw her under a bus to get her fired.

So tonight ASAP and Backbone had to raise money for an art gallery, and hats.

Team Backbone: First challenge is Jose's father was very sick which saw him leave the show. John Rich is now in charge and calls on his country music community to turn out their pockets for the cause.  Backbone heads to Michael's for supplies and Meat Loaf and Gary face off as Meat Loaf accuses Busey of stealing supplies. After he has his Bat of Hell moment he still acts a fool. Busey is officially not the nutter in the show anymore.

Gary Busey is, however, one of the worst artists ever. His "American Bison" painting was pretty bad. Mark McGrath sells his Sugar Ray lyrics art mural thingy but lord - our Dixie Mafia Don (kidding) John Rich rakes it in with his All-American red, white and blue painting that sells like hotcakes. Rich seriously has some mad money raising skills.

Team A.S.A.P: Marlee Matlin takes the reins as project manager. Then lady LaToya presents a signed Michael Jackson shirt. The ladies paint and there are no accusations of paint thievery, so that's good. Then the money train starts and donations start pouring in. I fell asleep watching this, and then woke up for:

The Boardroom showdown

Donald's eye's are glittering because this IS THE MOST MONEY EVER RAISED on his lil' show.  So he reveals the number and then he makes a deal that if both teams agree, he'll let the losing team keep their money for their charity. So I am confused (okay groggy and high on NyQuil) at this point but then, both teams agree.

John Rich and company raised $626,908, while the girls raised $986,000. Whoa! Rich was faced! I am shocked because I slept through the girls' portion of this thing. Donald slides a cool $14,000 to make their total reach a million.

Who to fire? The ladies all agree it should be Richard Hatch, the Backbone member who pulled in the least amount of dough. The guys all sort of blame Gary as the weak link, even though he did not steal Meat Loaf's paints. There is no justice. At this point, the nighttime NyQuil is kicking in and I conclude with the news that Donald Trump, despite the heavy lobbying by the Backbone gents, listens to Marlee Matlin and tells Richard to collect his Tiki torch and beat it.

I am betting the farm on Star, what about you all?