Smallscreen News

Kourtney and Kim Kardashian, and Fareed Zakaria on Leno (VIDEOS)

By April MacIntyre Apr 1, 2011, 3:12 GMT

Kim Kardashian - Paris Las Vegas - Las Vegas, NV, USA © PRN / PR Photos

What does 2/3 of the Kardashian Klan have in kommon with Fareed Zakaria?

The letter "K", of course.

Jay Leno tonight celebrates this letter of the alphabet as Kourtney and Kim Kardashian argue about Kourtney's parenting skills and journalist Fareed Zakaria pretends not to notice them, and then sighs as he gives his views on Obama, and whether Donald Trump is going to run for President and his feud with Glenn Beck. Mary Mary performs.
 
JAY LENO’S MONOLOGUE HIGHLIGHTS THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 2011

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS?  TODAY IS OPENING DAY FOR BASEBALL ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY.  IT WAS TODAY.  WHICH IS GREAT NEWS FOR FOLKS IN CLEVELAND.  THEY CAN FINALLY STOP WORRYING ABOUT HOW MUCH THE CAVALIERS SUCK AND START WORRYING ABOUT HOW MUCH THE INDIANS SUCK.

PRESIDENT OBAMA DID NOT THROW OUT ANY FIRST PITCHES THIS YEAR—UNLESS YOU COUNT THAT CURVEBALL HE THREW US ON LIBYA.

ACCORDING TO A POLL RELEASED JUST TODAY PRESIDENT OBAMA'S APPROVAL RATING IS AT A ALL TIME LOW.  NOT GOOD.  HE IS SO UNPOPULAR RIGHT NOW, PEOPLE IN KENYA ARE ACCUSING HIM OF BEING BORN IN THE UNITED STATES.

THE WASHINGTON POST REPORTS THAT IF MOAMMAR KADAFI GOES INTO EXILE THERE ARE ONLY THREE PLACES THAT WOULD TOLERATE A RAVING MADMAN LIKE THAT; VENEZUELA, SAUDI ARABIA,  AND OF COURSE FOX NEWS.

I LOVE THIS STORY; A HIGH SCHOOL SECRETARY IN QUEBEC HAS BEEN SUSPENDED AFTER SHE WAS CAUGHT MOONLIGHTING AS A PORN STAR. BUT TODAY SHE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS; SHE'S BEING RECRUITED TO BE THE NEXT BUILDING INSPECTOR AT USC.  SO THAT WORKED OUT OK.

AS YOU KNOW USC STANDS FOR UNLIMITED SEX ON CAMPUS.

LINDSAY LOHAN SPENT LAST NIGHT AT A NEW YORK CITY BAR AND THEN TRIPPED AND FELL WHEN SHE WAS LEAVING. SHE SAID SHE WAS NOT DRINKING AND BLAMES IT ON HER SHOES.  THE PROBLEM WAS THEY WERE NEW SHOES SHE HAD JUST STOLEN EARLIER IN THE DAY.