Today was quite the day in TV news, as Bahama vacationer Charlie Sheen, full of bravado, rest and cheer, went on a long bizarre rant that smacked everyone from President Obama, Scientologists, ex wife Brooke Mueller to Chuck Lorre, the showrunner and scribe who pens the words that feeds Sheen. Warner Bros. and CBS apparently listened in too, and have killed the golden goose of primetime comedy.
"Two and a Half Men" is done for the rest of the season thanks in large part to today's nails in coffin remarks delivered by Sheen to radio talker Alex Jones, who spoke about Charlie's good-heartedness and kindness and hoped for his continued sobriety.
"Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen's statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of 'Two and a Half Men' for the remainder of the season," read a statement from CBS Entertainment and Warner Bros. Television.
He even refers to Chuck Lorre, born Charles Levine. as Chaim. "OK, last I checked, Chaim, I spent I think close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold, and the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write," Sheen said.
It gets worse. Sheen then calls Harvey Levin's TMZ, he clarified his vitriol: "I violently hate Chaim Levine (Chuck Lorre). He's a stupid, stupid little man and a p**sy punk that I'd never want to be like," he said to TMZ.
"That piece of s**t (Lorre) took money out of my pocket, my family's pocket, and, most importantly, my second family -- my crew's pocket. You can tell him one thing. I own him."
Sheen THEN sends TMZ this letter:
"What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows ... I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.
Remember these are my people ... not yours...we will continue on together..."
- Charlie Sheen
No word yet from CBS on whether the show continues another year, or who, if anyone, will take care of a hard-working below the line crew that is left in the lurch.
Also unknown is what Sheen's lawyers will do legally for non-payment of Charlie's salary, the highest on TV for a single episode.
Read Washington Post's Alexandra Petri's hilarious letter to Sheen where she defends Thomas Jefferson, who Sheen slagged as a "pus*y" in his Alex Jones' radio rant.