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Leno does the 12 Days of Christmas Dec. 16, video

By April MacIntyre Dec 17, 2010, 3:06 GMT

08/29/2010 - Jorge Lorenzo and Jay Leno - 2010 Red Bull Indianapolis Moto GP at Indianapolis Motor Speedway - August 29, 2010 - Indianapolis Motor Speedway - Indianapolis, IN, USA © Insidefoto / PR Photos

NBC fired over tonight's preview of The Tonight Show, as Jay counts down the 12 days of a 2010 Christmas.  Jason Segel talks about why Kermit made him cry and the hosts of "Top Gear" talk shop with Jay.  Katharine McPhee brings some Christmas spirit.
 
JAY LENO’S MONOLOGUE HIGHLIGHTS THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16, 2010        

HERE’S SOMETHING KIND OF FRIGHTENING, I DON’T WANT TO RUIN ANYONE’S HOLIDAY, CAPTURED INSURGENTS HAVE TOLD IRAQI AUTHORITIES THAT AL QAEDA IS PLANNING CHRISTMAS ATTACKS IN THE U.S. AND EUROPE.  OF COURSE, THE U.S. GOVERNMENT SPRING INTO ACTION AND THEY TOLD AL QAEDA, “HEY, YOU CAN NOT CALL THEM CHRISTMAS ATTACKS, YOU HAVE TO CALL THEM HOLIDAY ATTACKS.”

A NEW SURVEY FINDS THAT ALTHOUGH HIS APPROVAL RATINGS ARE LOW, PRESIDENT OBAMA IS STILL AHEAD OF THE MOST PROMINENT REPUBLICANS.  HAVE YOU SEEN HIS TAX PLAN? HE IS THE MOST PROMINENT REPUBLICAN.

THE HOUSE HAS VOTED TO REPEAL THE "DON'T ASK DON'T TELL POLICY".  THE BILL NOW GOES TO THE SENATE.  NANCY PELOSI SAID "NOW'S THE TIME TO ACT." MEANING BEFORE DEMOCRATS LOSE THEIR MAJORITY IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS. WHICH RAISES THE QUESTION WHY DIDN'T THEY ACT THE LAST FOUR YEARS WHEN THEY HAD THE MAJORITY?

ACCORDING TOA NEW RASMUSSEN POLL, ONLY 23% SAY AMERICA IS HEADING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. IN MEXICO IT'S DIFFERENT.  THERE 77% SAY THE RIGHT DIRECTION IS HEADING TO AMERICA.

STARTING THIS WEEK, YOU CAN NOW BRING GUNS ON AMTRAK TRAINS.  FINALLY. THIS IS GREAT, SO NOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING THROUGH NEWARK, NEW JERSEY YOU’LL BE ABLE TO RETURN FIRE.  YOU DON’T HAVE TO HIDE UNDER THE SEAT ANYMORE.

I MENTIONED THIS LAST NIGHT.  A MAILMAN IN WISCONSIN WANTED TO CHEER UP A WOMAN ON HIS ROUTE THAT HE THOUGHT WAS DEPRESSED, SO HE DECIDED TO DELIVER HER A PACKAGE TO HER NAKED. SHE CALLED THE COPS AND HAD HIM ARRESTED.  APPARENTLY SHE EXPECTED A BIGGER PACKAGE.

JUSTIN BIEBER WILL NOT FACE CRIMINAL CHARGES FOR PUNCHING A KID IN THE FACE AT A LASER TAG PARK IN OCTOBER.  REMEMBER HE ALLEGEDLY PUNCHED THE KID IN THE FACE?  WELL, THEY ARE NOT GOING TO BRING CHARGES.  POLICE SAID THE TROUBLE IS FINDING ANYONE WHO WOULD TESTIFY ON THE RECORD THAT THEY GOT BEAT UP BY JUSTIN BIEBER.  

MICHAEL VICK SAYS HE WANTS TO OWN A DOG AGAIN… YOU KNOW, BILL CLINTON WOULD LIKE TO RUN A HOOTERS, IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.