Smallscreen News

Snooki, Sting and Chris Rock on Leno June 8, video preview

By April MacIntyre Jun 9, 2010, 3:25 GMT

06/06/2010 - Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi - 2010 MTV Movie Awards - Arrivals - Gibson Amphitheatre - Universal City, CA, USA © Bob Charlotte / PR Photos

Jay Leno has his hands full tonight!

Chris Rock mixes it up and Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi talks about being "stolen."  Bonus, Sting performs too.
 

JAY LENO’S MONOLOGUE HIGHLIGHTS  TUESDAY, JUNE 8, 2010

WE WERE OFF LAST WEEK.  I GOT NO RELAXATION ALL LAST WEEK.  I SPENT THE ENTIRE WEEK HELPING AL GORE MOVE INTO THE OAKWOOD APARTMENTS. JUST LOADING BOXES.

ARE YOU BUMMED OUT ABOUT THAT, AL GORE AND HIS WIFE GETTING DIVORCED AFTER 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE?  IT’S KIND OF SAD.  APPARENTLY WHAT HAPPENED WAS; I GUESS SHE WALKED IN CAUGHT HIM BORING ANOTHER WOMAN.

SHE DID SAY WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG, AL GORE WAS A GREAT FATHER, TERRIFIC WITH THE KIDS.  SHE SAID HE WOULD ALWAYS READ TO HIS KIDS AT NIGHT TO HELP THEM FALL ASLEEP.  HE WOULD JUST START RECITING ONE OF HIS SPEECHES AND THE KIDS WOULD DOZE OFF.

THE NEW UNEMPLOYMENT FIGURES ARE NOT GOOD.  ALL OF PEOPLE OUT OF WORK, YET SOMEHOW THE CEO OF BRITISH PETROLEUM STILL MANAGES TO KEEP HIS JOB.  HOW THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN?

IN AN INTERVIEW ON NBC PRESIDENT OBAMA SAID HE WOULD HAVE FIRED BP CEO TONY HAYWARD IF HE WORKED FOR HIM. UNFORTUNATELY, AS YOU KNOW, THE WHITE HOUSE WORKS FOR BP.  SO HIS HANDS ARE TIED.

THIS TONY HAYWIRE GUY…WHATEVER HIS NAME IS…HE TOLD THE BBC ON SUNDAY THAT HE BELIEVES THAT NEW OIL CAP THEY'VE INSTALLED WILL EVENTUALLY CAPTURE THE VAST MAJORITY OF OIL SPEWING FROM THE WELL. IF THEY COULD JUST CATCH HALF THE B.S. SPEWING FROM TONY HAYWARD…PEOPLE WOULD BE THRILLED.

DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID THE OTHER DAY?  HE REALLY SAID THIS.  HE SAID HE WOULD JUST LIKE TO GET HIS LIFE BACK.  I SAY GIVE HIM LIFE, PLUS 20.

THE ONLY COMMERCIAL AIRLINE IN IRAQ, IRAQI AIRWAYS, FOLDED THIS WEEK.  THE CEO OF IRAQI AIRWAYS SAYS THE COMPANY JUST COULD NOT SURVIVE IN A MARKET WHERE EVERYBODY IN THE COUNTRY IS ON THE NO-FLY LIST.

APPLE UNVEILED THEIR NEW IPHONE YESTERDAY – THE GOOD NEWS; IT’S SLIMMER AND EVEN SMARTER.  THE BAD NEWS, YOU ARE NOT.

ARGENTINA'S WORLD CUP TEAM DOCTOR SAID PLAYERS CAN HAVE SEX DURING THE MONTH LONG TOURNAMENT IN SOUTH AFRICA.  IT USED TO BE A THING THAT YOU SHOULD ABSTAIN.  THIS DOCTOR SAYS NO, SEX ACTUALLY HELPS YOU PERFORM BETTER.  TO WHICH TIGER WOODS SAID, “SEE!”

TIGER WOODS’ LEGAL TEAM HAS REPORTEDLY ORDERED HIM NOT TO DATE UNTIL THE SPLIT WITH HIS WIFE IS FINALIZED.  HE CAN STILL ORDER A COCKTAIL, JUST NOT THE WAITRESS.

A YOUNG AMERICAN WOMAN OF INDIANA DESCENT NAMED ANAMIKA VEERAMANI, SHE WON THE SCRIPPS NATIONAL SPELLING BEE. YOU KNOW WHAT WORD SHE WAS ABLE TO SPELL, THAT NO ONE ELSE WAS ABLE TO SPELL?  HER NAME.

THIS IS THE THIRD YEAR IN A ROW AN INDIAN AMERICAN HAS WON THE NATIONAL SPELLING BEE. SO YOU HAVE INDIAN AMERICANS WINNING SPELLING BEES, ASIAN AMERICAN KIDS ARE WINNING MATH AND SCIENCE COMPETITIONS… MEANWHILE, MY PEOPLE, THE ITALIANS THEY’RE ON JERSEY SHORE.  WE COULDN’T BE PROUDER.

THIS WEEK WAS THE PREMIER OF "KATE PLUS 8". JON IS NO LONGER ON THE SHOW. HE IS WORKING ON HIS NEW SHOW, "JON PLUS SKANK".

ACCORDING TO "TMZ", LINDSAY LOHAN’S PARENTS DINA AND MICHAL LOHAN HAVE FINALLY COME TO AN AGREEMENT ON CHILD SUPPORT. THEY BOOTH AGREED TO KEEP BEING SUPPORTED BY THEIR CHILDREN.

The Jersey Shore’s own Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi mixes it up with Chris Rock on NBC’s “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” (Monday-Friday, 11:35 p.m. ET) on Tuesday, June 8.