Smallscreen News

Goldberg takes his firing like a man, Celebrity Apprentice continues

By April MacIntyre Apr 19, 2010, 15:11 GMT

04/05/2010 - Donald Trump, Jr. - the hair travesty continues © Jill Bednar / PR Photos

Goldberg was hugely benefited by NBC's "Celebrity Apprentice." Prior to the reality TV show, I had never heard of him, and now he is firmly on the Monsters' radar.

The big man who was a football star at the University of Georgia is a bit of all right, and without much fanfare or gnashing of teeth, he took his exit chop orders from The Donald like a man, and didn't flame his fellow RockSolid teammates.

On this week's Celebrity Apprentice, the challenge was to craft a new image for two big big rising country singers, with ex Celebrity Apprentice contestant Trace Adkins introducing the task, and generally saturating the set with a heavy dose of no apologies testosterone and manliness. When you see a guy like Trace on the telly, you realize just how pussified and metrosexual the fellows of the smallscreen have become.

Anyhow, the teams had to accomplish a physical makeover, construct a press kit and then cheer their respective artist on in a mini concert.

Let's give it to Cyndi, she comes off as a ditz but girlfriend knows what she's talking about, and it is maddening to control freak Holly "Peete Robinson whatevah."

Holly and Marie are two of a feather; they love to be in charge, and them stepping aside to let the meandering Lauper take the reins is like asking Sharon Osbourne to to play nice, ain't gonna happen.

Speaking of la donna Osbourne, she returned to the show after fighting some flu, and immediately cleaved to Lauper; the two women respect each other and Sharon appears to genuinely like Lauper, and vice versa.

Sharon's hiatus does not pass without Holly telling her B Roll camera confessional how "unfair" it is that Sharon was allowed by The Donald to convalesce. The show would have been a dud without acid-tongued Sharon. So wahhh to Holly.

The men's team designates "virgin" Goldberg the project manager, as Bret and Curtis already won for their charities. Bad move.

Trump and Trace Adkins immediately question that decision. As the musician, Bret makes the most sense to lead the charge, which is what he does, by gussying up Luke Bryan who is completely resistant save for a chunky silver chain and some more form-fitting shirts to revamp his good ol' boy persona.

The women are steeped in a bitter brew with Maria as lead diva. Cyndi is take charge on this challenge. Maria and Cyndi butt heads the entire task and Maria whines like a baby about Cyndi ruining her childhood memories of Lauper; oh wahhhh, Maria.

Summer plays this one smart and stays quiet and out of the way, except for when Trace enters the ladies' beehive. She was very happy to see him, ahem.

As the women decide a strategy for their Emily West, whose "Blue Sky" single is amazing, Maria insists on helping Emily with the interview portion of the task because of her experience. She references her Playboy interview where the reporter kept asking if she was "shaved or hairy;" cue the horrified looks from Cyndi and company.

Bret's advice to Luke is to never say he's tired to a reporter which fell on deaf ears, as Bryan tells the People reporter he is...tired.

Luke gets dolled up by the men, but it was a bit difficult as he really didn't flip for any of Bret's suggestions.

For Tenacity, the girls decide to goose Emily's more vampy fashion and feminine side and put her in hip-hugging dresses with loose curls. Throughout the photo shoot part of the task, Cyndi leaves heavy handed makeup lover Maria to supervise the makeup and then feels it is much too heavy for a young girl. Duh. Lauper criticizes the makeup artist who airbrushed the young women into a mannequin.

The two artists turned out stellar performances, and at this point in the show it's anybody's game.

In the boardroom, Trace sits aside Donald Trump. and the main event is the straightforward critique by Cyndi of Maria. It revealed how thin-skinned and frankly a tad dim Maria can be, who by now has bored us all to tears with her 'childhood idol turn against her' yammering.

Maria says it's not "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" but "Girls Just Want to Be Mean." Cyndi is like, "whatevah."

Now, last night's show saw Donald Trump tap into his inner Shecky Greene.

He was so enamored with his bandanna bon mots and his fixation on hats and...bandannas that it made Trace shut him down, "enough about the bandannas"... Trump must have made a killing in a real estate deal earlier or something. He was a giddy girl at the table.