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FOX 'American Idol' audition recap, some thoughts on Olde Boston

By April MacIntyre Jan 13, 2010, 20:11 GMT

Simon Cowell Splash News

Beautiful Boston, home of the Fenway, Haymarket, Faneuil Hall and Freedom Trail is one of the most European feeling, good eating cities in America.

That home of the infamous "Dirty Water" ditty was ground zero for FOX reality juggernaut "American Idol" with the stunning blue backdrop of the Charles river and Boston Harbor behind the Idol judges on Tuesday (January 12), on a show that is still entertaining and compelling reality TV. 

Last night's "American Idol" season nine kick-off had me psyched, stoked and ready to dive head first into all the melodramatic b-roll backstories the producers see fit to throw my way.

All the required elements are representing: Sad Nana stories, hunky guy comeback from cancer tales, delusional, kooky, sad and angry contestants all splayed out for us to take in.  Bonus is the new meat: Victoria Beckham, the guestie for Beantown, who nodded left, right and rocked some awesome false eyelashes whilst hectoring fellow Englishman Simon Cowell on being so rude.

The missing Paula slot was barely addressed, as Posh Spice buffered Simon from Kara, and doled out sly smiles here and there when the mood struck.

The standout surprises included a sixteen year-old named Maddy Curtis who hailed from a family with eleven siblings, (three with Down Syndrome) and she performed Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah."

Especially loved was the story of Connecticut native Katie Stevens who learned Portuguese from her ailing grandmother, currently struggling with Alzheimer's.

I wish my own Portuguese grandfather had been able to teach me the language and not just the love of a delicious Portuguese heart attack breakfast of bacon, Linguiça, eggs, Portuguese sweet bread and did I mention bacon?

Utah spawned a hunky contestant, Justin Williams, a vocal coach who survived cancer, and apparently found out about his illness doing some sort of missionary work in Spain. He made Posh tilt left, right AND smile.

Wicked pissa awesome dude of the day was 18-year-old Mike Davis who worked on a stunt/tour boat called Codzilla (Spike TV or Discovery, paging development, Codzilla looks like a great time).  He is full of confidence and bonhomie, Kara liked him, and he went for it and actually offered her a steak dinner.  In some cultures, when a man offers a lady some meat, that's serious business

Now, for the guy who blew it big time: Angry, yet oddly handsome and able to sing, cranky pants Andrew Felton pissed and moaned his displeasure at being made to wait, and wait and wait.

Enter the dragon: Kara DioGuardi loses her cool.  "You just told me that you're a little bit annoyed that you had to wait three hours to come in here and get your shot when there are people who would wait years to do so. So I am now angry. At you. Who I don't like. At all."  Felton delivered a decent "House of the Rising Sun" and cemented his future as an "Idol" reject.  Lesson for all there.

Drummer and daredevil tree climber (and tree tumbler)Tyler Grady, dressed nattily with matching broken wrists casts, and he delighted all with his "Let's Get It On,"  Posh nodded left, then right and smiled.

Coolest Idol mom so far goes to Nigerian emigre Boso Mora's mother, who wears an orange table centerpiece on her head. 

Simon was right, other than mum's chapeau, Bosa was boring.

Atlanta here we come.