Upfront? Jimmy Kimmel pours ice water on ABC execs' loins

By April MacIntyre May 20, 2009, 2:26 GMT

US television personality/comedian Jimmy Kimmel The Times reporter Dave Itzkoff claims that Tuesday afternoon’s upfront presentation in New York saw Jimmy talk some funny smack right at the hand that feeds him. EPA/PAUL BUCK

Performance art, satire or balls out withering commentary? The New York Times is reporting that late night comic host Jimmy Kimmel flung it like a big monkey at the ABC upfronts.

Kimmel hosts "Jimmy Kimmel Live" for ABC.

The Times reporter Dave Itzkoff claims that Tuesday afternoon’s upfront presentation in New York saw Jimmy talk some funny smack right at the hand that feeds him.

Itzkoff writes that Kimmel took aim "at ABC, its potential advertisers and his NBC late-night rival, Jay Leno."

According to the Times, Kimmel "self-deprecatingly" stated:

“All of ABC’s late night comedy talent is assembled here on one stage.”

Kimmel went on, “Everything you’re going to hear this week is” nonsense. “Let’s get real here. Let’s get Dr. Phil-real here. These new fall shows? We’re going to cancel about 90 percent of them. Maybe more.”

Kimmel allegedly called in to question ABC's "confidence" by the very act of announcing mid-season replacement shows that ostensibly would replace the potentially failed new fall fare.

“This show ‘Shark Tank’ has the word tank right in the title,” he said, referring to ABC' new series.

The Times also noted Kimmel's addressing the ABC advertisers: “Every year we lie to you and every year you come back for more. You don’t need an upfront. You need therapy. We completely lie to you, and then you pass those lies onto your clients.”

Kimmel took on rival NBC saying, “giving Jay’s viewers exactly what they want. An early-bird special.”  He also noted that they had a lead run to effectively "cancel half their schedule."

Kimmel closed his presentation saying, “I think all our shows are going to work this year. I really do.” He paused. “I don’t, really.”  He paused, and according to the Times, said: “The important thing to remember is: who cares, it’s not your money.”