Smallscreen News

American Idol’s Kara DioGuardi's regrets and secrets revealed

By April MacIntyre Apr 23, 2009, 1:05 GMT

02/07/2009 - Kara DioGuardi -"She has achieved too much in the music world -- a business dominated by men -- to allow herself to stay in a job where she\'s not appreciated," an Idol insider allegedly told OK! Weekly in a Wednesday report. "It\'s demeaning and a waste of her time." © Bob Charlotte / PR Photos

Lots of news popping up on new judge Kara DioGuardi, who reveals she had an eating disorder and also reportedly regrets her decision to join American Idol as a judge.

"She has achieved too much in the music world -- a business dominated by men -- to allow herself to stay in a job where she's not appreciated," an Idol insider allegedly told OK! Weekly. "It's demeaning and a waste of her time."

The OK! report claims her cohorts, Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul, are over her.

Following last night's performance episode featuring the Top seven finalists, OK! reported DioGuardi blew up off stage.

"She was so upset, she couldn't hold it back," an Idol source told OK!. "Kara was telling everybody, 'I don't care anymore. I'm going to quit!' She didn't sign up to be anybody's punching bag. That's what she feels she's become."

Even the unflappable Randy Jackson was reportedly irked when she interrupted his Kris Allen critique.

Now DioGuardi has revealed her secret for the first time to Simon Cowell's ex gal Terri Seymour of Extra, declaring, “I had eating disorder issues. I’ve never spoken about this. Here we go…I had kind of a binge eating disorder where instead of dealing with my emotions, I would stuff them down with food. I never threw up or starved myself.”

She continues, “It was an eating disorder. I actually went into a treatment center for it…I would get up and eat in the middle of the night.” 

DioGuardi explains the root of her problem saying, “It was definitely that excess eating to kind of just stuff all the emotions down and the emotions were that I really was a creative kid who didn’t know she was creative and didn’t have those outlets because I was always afraid to join the theater group and not perform…”

Once DioGuardi figured out how to channel that creativity, she became healthier. “The moment I started doing music, the moment I did what I loved to do in my life and committed to it, I don’t have those problems anymore...I have my outlet. I have that form of expression. I can go to the studio and talk about my feelings,” she explains.

DioGuardi still battles her past demons saying,  “I had this craziness in my head that I had to be perfect all the time and I face it now on Idol 25 years later where it’s kind of, ‘Oh god, why did I say that? Why did I do this?’ but I made this commitment in my life to face my fears and if I am afraid of something I make sure I do it.”

DioGuardi is trying to pass that message on to the young residents of Phoenix House, a Los Angeles area treatment center where she built a recording studio to help recovering addicts heal through music. She comments, “It’s real therapeutic.”

“Extra’s” interview with Terri Seymour and Kara DioGuardi airs tomorrow, Thursday, April 23rd.