The most offensive armchair quarterbacks in animated history are calling the winners for the upcoming slate of football games airing September 28.
FOX has the writing teams for their hit dysfunctional families predicting who will be gridiron victors of the upcoming NFL skirmishes.
The FOX Sunday-night lineup kicks off Sept. 28 with the season premieres of The Simpsons (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT), King of the Hill (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT), Family Guy (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) and American Dad (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT).
Doofus dads Homer Simpson, Hank Hill, Peter Griffin and Stan Smith have their say and tackled the NFL with their picks for this Sunday’s games.
Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals
Peter Griffin (FAMILY GUY ): Cleveland has a team named after him already?! We’ve been on the air for ten freakin’ years, and I can’t even get a fantasy team to take the name “Peter Griffins.” Good luck with the new show, buddy! My pick: Browns.
Houston Texans vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
Homer Simpson (THE SIMPSONS ): I overheard a guy saying he thinks “Jacksonville could win it all this year.” I also heard the same guy say “Get away from me, Homer!” and “Quit listening to me, or I’ll punch you.” So, clearly this guy knows what he’s talking about. My pick: Jacksonville.
Denver Broncos vs. Kansas City Chiefs
Homer Simpson: Kansas City has good barbecue. Denver has good skiing. So I guess what we have here is the age-old debate of barbecue versus skiing – and barbecue always wins. My pick: Kansas City.
Atlanta Falcons vs. Carolina Panthers
Homer Simpson: Even though both cities playing have names that end with “a,” Atlanta would come first in a phone book (according to Lisa), and as anyone knows, the phone book lists things by how good they are. Like the “AAAA Pizza” we always order from, and the “AAAAAA Dentist” we send the kids to. So, until Atlanta plays Arizona, stick with the best. My pick: Atlanta.
Arizona Cardinals vs. New York Jets
Stan Smith (AMERICAN DAD ): John McCain is as Arizona as it gets, and even with his broken arms I’d still trust him on the field over Favre the flip-flopper. My pick: Cardinals.
San Francisco 49ers vs. New Orleans Saints
Stan Smith : I never understood why San Francisco even has a team. The whole town’s out buying Capri pants and leather sandals. Who’s even got time for football? Harry Connick-town, it is. My pick: Saints
Green Bay Packers vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Hank Hill (KING OF THE HILL): I think the Buccaneers are gonna send Green Bay packing. Heh heh. FOX should get me to do the pre-game show. My pick: Tampa Bay.
Minnesota Vikings vs. Tennessee Titans
Homer Simpson: Two of the top-rated defenses in the league face-off against each other. You know what that means…BO-RING! This game will be lamer than watching two clergymen exchange oatmeal recipes. Oh, wait…it’s on FOX. Forget what I said, it’s gonna be awesome! My pick: Minnesota.
San Diego Chargers vs. Oakland Raiders
Hank Hill: Silver and black versus powder blue and yellow. Sounds like the Terminator versus the Avon Lady. But that being said, I’ve got to go with the Avon Lady. My pick: San Diego.
Buffalo Bills vs. St. Louis Rams
Stan Smith : Two of the finest, most beautiful and dynamic American cities are on display here: Buffalo and St. Louis. But you know who has bills ultimately? Ducks. And if you’re ducking in football, you’re missing the ball. You win games by catching balls, not ducking out of the way. You know what I mean, friends? They’ll be celebrating on the Arch after this one. My pick: St. Louis.
Washington Redskins vs. Dallas Cowboys
Hank Hill: This is obviously the game of the week! Anybody think the Redskins are gonna beat the Cowboys? Now that’s fantasy football. My pick: Dallas.
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Chicago Bears
Peter Griffin: The only thing on the rise for the Eagles this season is Andy Reid’s cholesterol, and a visit to Chicago sure isn’t going to help. What happens in Chicago doesn’t stay in Chicago, Andy. It usually gets clogged in your left ventricle. My pick: Bears.
Baltimore Ravens vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
Homer Simpson: Another game? Seriously, how many of these are there? And this one is between two places I’ve never heard of. If you have something serious to discuss, I’ll be drunk in my hammock. My pick: None.
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