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'American Idol' recap: Eight 'embarrassed' men

By M&C Smallscreen Mar 5, 2008, 17:41 GMT

02/14/2008 - American Idol Season 7 Top 24 Semi-Finalist Party Hosted by Garnier Fructis - Arrivals - The Day After Club - Los Angeles, CA, USA © Inez Lewis / PR Photos

Perhaps the title of the article should read: "Eight men, two should really be embarrassed."

In light of the news that David Hernandez was a nude lap dancer for men in Phoenix, and Danny Noriega is a profane Chris Crocker wanna-be with "mad attitude," according to Randy Jackson; the men for the most part pulled off a good show.

Show host Ryan Seacrest introduces '80s night and announces the men are required to reveal their "Most Embarrassing Moment."

Vanilla ice cream cone Luke Menard had to wear a tutu and leotard by his older sister who wished he was a girl.

Menard sings Wham! "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go."

Randy Jackson in a very long-winded way cuts him at the knees: "Bad, dude -- just trying to keep it real."   Paula says Luke has a "great instrument" and that she "loves loves loves" his "interpretation" of the song and Simon calls it "weak and a bit girly" and predicts Luke won't make it.

David Archuleta - the aw shucks kid destined to win this competition, went to some foreign country to sing a song in Spanish only to have his mother finish it for him.

Archuleta sings Phil Collins's "Another Day in Paradise." He plays piano too!

Randy says it was all right, not over the moon.  Paula loved that it was an imperfect performance and rambles on incoherently.  Simon says it wasn't as good as last week and the songs he selects are "a bit gloomy."  Depressing actually.

David pipes up with Seacrest that he chose the song because it brings attention to those around the world that have nothing. Cue polite applause.

Queen bee and self-described "cute little tomato" Danny Noriega says the very most embarrassing moment for him in his entire life was when he went to a movie theater and tripped, which, he said, "was TMTH!"

And we all thought it was that awful video that is posted here on M&C in the Noriega article from yesterday!  WATCH

Noriega sings Soft Cell's "Tainted Love."

Randy was digging the arrangement and said Noriega needed conviction, Paula blathers about Noriega's sensitive side and a spicy side, like chicken wings says Simon. and asked him to remove the purple hair chunks: "It should come out," she advises. Simon slices him to the core:  "horrible," adding, "absolutely useless, I hated the arrangement, hated the performance, hated the vocals -- didn't like anything about it."

Lappy McPole dancer David Hernandez's most embarrassing moment involves a booger in his nose the size of a pea, nay, a WALNUT.  Here we thought it was his naked lapdancing with dudes.

Hernandez ironically belts out Meatloaf's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now."

Randy likes his big ol' voice despite some pitch problems, Paula says David H. is really niche performer and Simon says it wasn't as good as last week, but he's secured a spot in the competition next week.

Oz land Michael Johns's most embarrassing moment came when he dressed as a Kangaroo mascot and some rugby hooligans jumped him match in front of 20,000 people.  He's actually lucky to be alive!

Johns does a charismatic version of "Don't You Forget About Me."  Loved it.

Randy loved the Michael Hutchence-y vibes and the song choice. Paula loved hearing the awesome low range Johns has, the unique way he holds his microphone and his "hopping thing." Simon liked it very much but adds Michael has yet to connect with the right song for his Idol moment.

David Cook's embarrassment is he forgot the words to a song in grade school.

Cook sings and EMO version of Lionel Richie's "Hello," which was awesome.

Randy was salivating to release it as a single, Paula loved it longtime and said he was a great shining star. Simon declares it a very brave thing to do, says he LOVED IT and thinks Richie would like it, too.

Dread-lockster Jason Castro broke one of his natties off by accident.  He inspires me to do my Dianne Wiest as Helen Sinclair impression from "Bullets over Broadway," to cover his pretty mouth and say, "please, don't speak, don't speak..."

Randy likes the Leonard Cohen song very much, was "awright" Paula calls it "effortless with ease" and says it showed his beautiful vulnerability. Simon also loves this song (especially the Jeff Buckley version) and said it was "absolutely brilliant."

Chikezie Eze is last, and his embarrassing moment was when he started attending high school and every day he went back to the same bathroom because it was so clean and the twist? It was the ladies room, doh.

Chikezie sang "All the Woman That I Need"

Randy likes it, Paula likes it and Simon wants to know if Whitney Houston had ever covered the song and when someone says "yes," he says, well then sucks for you (in so many words).

Paula was on cloud nine this week- babbling and making no sense in her commentaries. 

See you after the women.