American Idol Recap: Then there were 12 women

By M&C Smallscreen Feb 21, 2008, 19:45 GMT

02/14/2008 - American Idol Season 7 Top 24 Semi-Finalist Party Hosted by Garnier Fructis - Arrivals - The Day After Club - Los Angeles, CA, USA © Inez Lewis / PR Photos

American Idol’s female Yin to the men’s Yang was featured Wednesday evening with the caveat from Ryan Seacrest that the Idol contestants were all fighting that annoying cough-cold-flu-bronchial thing that is plaguing the country right now.

The women were not as compelling as the men’s performances, but in order of appearances, let’s begin.

Kristy Lee Cook sang "Rescue Me" after sharing she pawned a horse to get to Idol. The performance was completely forgettable.

Judges Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul hem and haw again over telling her she needs to bring her “A” game and get with it. Simon Cowell likens her performance as “robotic.”

Diva-sized Joanne Borgella sang "Say a Little Prayer."

Paula and Randy again can’t tell these girls the truth.  Namby-pamby excuse making with no real constructive criticism for Joanne to up her game. Simon is honest: "Every one of you has got a head start to become a star through this show; if you don't grab hold of it now, you don't deserve to win."  Joanne points out 30+ million are watching.  Oh BOO HOO.

Teen Alaina Whitaker sang "More Today Than Yesterday."

Randy and Paula like it and no mention of nerves is broached, and Simon, despite his hatred for the ditty, called her "very good."

Skunk-coiffed Amanda Overmyer sang "Baby Please Don't Go."

I don’t get this one. Randy and Paula take their round-about way of saying absolutely nothing constructive.  Simon thinks Amanda forgot the words during her singing.

Amy Davis warbled "Where the Boys Are." Horrid, horrid, horrid.

Randy gets into producer mode with a “scooping up” tutorial for vocals, "you've got to hit it dead on," and. Paula returns to the nerves commentary chestnut  Simon uses the word drone and I am grateful he is there to cut through the schmaltz on this show.

Brooke White sang "Happy Together" and it made me sad.

Randy and Paula offer confusing criticism while Simon likens her performance to a ditzy dishwashing liquid hawker on telly who is prattling on about her sudsy cleaning prowess.

Alexandrea Lushington sings "Spinning Wheel."

Paula dug the outfit.  Randy announces she "blew the doors off that." Doused with reality and a cold towel snapped on the buttcheeks, Simon says it reminded him of one of "those horrible little shows you see where people do a terrible '60s musical."

Next victim was Kady Malloy who sang "A Groovy Kind of Love."

All the judges note she's more compelling when she's pretending to be other performers, like Britney Spears than when she's pretending to be herself.

"When you do Britney, you're brilliant, and when you do you, the lights just go off," Simon says. The wrap up with Seacrest was painful to watch as they all reiterated the obvious; this girl is the Rich Little of the American Idol contestants, bland boring and awful unless she is in “character.” 

She looked like she was ready to stab Seacrest and Simon in the head when she left the stage.

Finally some goodness arrives onstage. Asia'H Epperson sang "Piece of My Heart."

Awesome performance, she is terrific, and she is taking the recent death of her father very well.  Paul and Randy are digging her, and Simon says it was his favorite of the night because she had fun. "It's what it's all about -- fun," Simon says.

Miramar High School grad Ramiele Malubay is a teeny-weeny girl with a big ol’Diva voice. She sang "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me."

Amazing performance. Paula and Randy are ecstatic. Simon says she has "outsung every single person."  She gives it up for the hair and makeup pros who transform these people into lookers onstage.

Another gem was Syesha Mercado who sang "Tobacco Road."

Judges are fawning over her. Simon says it wasn't her best performance but it doesn't matter because she's one of the true female talents.

Irish and now relocated San Diegon tattoo artist (and ex recording star) Carly Smithson was the Bronchial Typhoid Mary of the group.  The girls all avoided her in the wings and onstage like she was a festering plague victim.

In her B-Roll segment she details her record label deal when she was 15, and that the record company “imploded” and she was left “with nothing.”  This is her second chance.

Smithson sang "The Shadow of Your Smile," and she was good, yet at the end a bronchial cough cut her short.

Paula and Randy are beside themselves over her. "Man, that's what the show is all about! . . . That was hot!" Simon has no love for the Irish girl: "There was so much hype about you and so much expectation." He looked at her like someone had put a bad shrimp in his coke glass.

Predictions?

I hope Danny Noriega and Chakieezy for the guys are voted off. For the girls I pick Amy Davis and Brooke White to be "86ed".