Where is our Paul Potts? In the recent "America's Got Talent" all I can say is phooey on us. The contestants are mediocre at best. Except perhaps for one or two in Chi-town.
David Hasselhoff REUTERS/Kieran Doherty
This last week on the Chicago show, judge Piers Morgan got all soft on us, Sharon's eyes popped out at some man-flesh and the Hoff lost it.
Chicago auditions began with Consuela Campbell. Describing her style as a blend of Gregorian Chant mixed with blues and gospel. Horrid horrid horrid. Sharon said that she'd gone in "too many directions" musically and Piers thought she looked like "Hillary Clinton on acid." Woof.
Sideswipe was a troupe of lookers who did martial arts mixed with acrobatics. Sharon got all cougar on these cuties, wanting to see their moves after midnight. They unanimously advanced.
Jason Pritchett was next, and sang "Live Like You Were Dyin'" Piers voted no. Sharon and David said yes.
Ventriloquist Terry Fator and his dummy Emma did imitations of famous women. He went to the next phase.
Next was Frances who was awful, then a family of Irish dancers, a guitarist, a baton twirler who dropped her baton, and a 3-girl act. See ya.
Beatboxer Butterscotch made it through to the next round.
John England as a patriotic rapper, so long.
Heart and Soul bombed out next.
Charlie King burped and banged out on the banjo. No way.
More awfulness ensued: Dancers with snakes on their faces. Then the Penetrator - name says it all A man in a sequined shirt sang falsetto.
The the coup de grace. "Boy Shakira." A tranny with aspirations of greatness. He says that he loves Shakira and wants to be like her. Piers surprised everyone by joining Sharon to vote him through. David hated his guy and got very upset that he'd been advanced.
The Hoff lost his temper and went off-stage.
Then Cas Haley sang a reggae song called "Walking on the Moon" that killed. Piers said that Cas represented what he loved about this show. He told Cas he had gotten a wonderful surprise. The judges unanimously agreed he should advance.
"Second Story Guys" performed on stilts. All three judges voted them through.
Calypso Tumblers also advance.
A "grunge" band named Faultline will advance to the finals.
Kevin James, a magician is advancing to the finals.
Ada Lynn sang, the 80 year-old woman will advance.
Not as good as Britain's Got Talent so far, that's for sure.
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