By April MacIntyre Oct 31, 2009, 20:30 GMT
Back in the day, Rabbis were not to be trifled with, especially with stupid, self-imposed problems that would have exposed you to the community as a complete shmegege.
Oi and Vey: Jon Gosselin - Jon Gosselin Launches His Shake at Millions of Milkshakes in West Hollywood on October 3, 2009 - Millions of Milkshakes - West Hollywood, CA, USA © Koi Sojer / PR Photos
And if you dared, and lived in a small New England town as I did, it was bad news bears for your family's reputation.
Not Jewish, but with extended family that happened to be, I was exposed to Rabbis frequently at family gatherings, weddings and other rites of passage. The Rabbis of my youth were stern, just like the one that smacked up a young Woody Allen in "Radio Days" for busting out a Masked Avenger line while being scolded for taking the Israel nation-building funds and buying a decoder ring with them.
And just like Catholic nuns (old school Baltimore Catechism ones), the Rabbis were badass, but with a bit more facial hair and clothing. They invented the modern day shank eye.
Which brings me to Rabbi Shmuley.
In the last few years, Shmuley has emerged as the Joel Osteen of the Jews, on Lou Dobbs, Dr. Drew, Live with Regis, MANswers (kidding) and just about any show with a talent booker. Shmuley is billed as "America's Rabbi" and served as a consigliere of sorts to Michael Jackson, who still wound up dead at 50 with a mountain of addictions and problems.
Now the worst reality series next to "Leave it to Lamas", the TLC trainwreck of phoney ginormo-family harmony "Jon & Kate Plus Eight" is a defunct entity in free fall, thanks to the lack of foresight and indulgence of both papa Jon and mama Kate. Unlike the more pragmatic Kate, who renewed her nursing license, Jon is actively courting tabloids with his odd love life and escalating appearance fees, to promote a solo "Jon Gosselin superstar."
And Hailey Glassman, the 20-something Gosselin professed his love for? Out of the picture says Extra. "They're taking a break," a Jon Gosselin insider said, adding that it may not be permanent.
Gosselin previously talk about participating in Jewish holidays with Glassman and her family, that Gosselin described to CNN's Larry King as a "second family" who had adopted him.
According to ParentDish.com:
"I just went through Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur and learned about the new year and every Friday is the Shabbat dinner. I love challah bread. I'm learning about Jewish food, going to Zabar's. I love that place. I'm learning about kosher and when not to order a bacon, egg and cheese and make an ass of myself. Hailey makes fun of me. My mom came to the city on Yom Kippur and asked where all the traffic was. I got from the West Side to Midtown in five minutes. She wants to come to the city every year on Yom Kippur."
Which leads us back to the loquacious Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, signed on by Jon for "study sessions and counseling."
Gosselin, who touted the strong Christian family angle thing on his old TLC show, has now circled his proverbial wagons (Lawyer, publicist, manager, rabbi, galpal) with the Jews, and may even convert to the faith, according to past interviews.
All bets are on: When will Shmuley orchestrate the potential Gosselin mikvah on reality TV?
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