The Steves hang on, Gilles is perfect and Melissa is on his heels

By April MacIntyre Mar 31, 2009, 15:37 GMT

02/12/2009 - DWTS star Gilles Marini - His tango was so spot-on it brought the house to its feet. In fact, several performances of the two extremely difficult dances did this. © Tina Gill / PR Photos

Last night's Tango and Lindy Hop was a blast to watch, and netted the first perfect "30" for the season's heir apparent winners of the mirrored ball: Gilles Marini and pro partner Cheryl Burke.

His tango was so spot-on it brought the house to its feet.  In fact, several performances of the two extremely difficult dances did this.

The two Steves are still winning hearts, despite the collective pained look from the three judges, Carrie Ann, Len and my favorite, the animated Bruno, whose head would explode if he could not gesticulate while speaking.

Rich Steve did a great segment on a people mover at the Grove with his army of geeks in tow.  The Woz is doling out motivational speeches!  He is the Tony Robbins of reality TV.  I love him. And not just because I want a hook up on a new Mac.

He and the other Steve, Steve-O, are humble guys, both are struggling with different issues.  Steve-O said it best; he is an infant in the recovery process, and he has injured himself.  This could be a disaster for anyone who cannot use pain killers, for fear of relapsing in the process. Woz is struggling with his own genetics; he was gifted a genius brain, but he is not built for dancing the way Gilles, David, Melissa and Ty are. 

But somebody has got to go.  In fact, two tonight will say goodbye.

I think Holly Madison will be one.  She cannot shake the wood out of her performances.  Side note to those out there thinking of breast implants. Observe the reality of them, as Holly looks downright matronly in a lot of the costumes because of her excessive bust and skinny build.  Better to get tasteful implants that fit your frame, like Cheryl.

The athletic and fast-paced Lindy hop was so much fun to watch, and David Alan Grier kicked the snot out if it, he is a better dancer than what the judges are grading him. Grier and Kym Johnson are a great team. Bruno tells David to keep his rhythm. The score was 8-7-7, a 22 out of 30.

Looking every bit the part for the role (kudos hair and makeup-you guys rock it every week!) Lil' Kim and Derek Hough did the Argentine Tango.  Derek shared he knew little of this dance so they were on a learning curve together. Lil' Kim is amazing! Like a slithering snake were those legs twining around Hough. Both Bruno and Carrie said it was a marvelous performance. Len was the cold water in the face, saying it lacked just a bit of passion. The score was 9-8-10, giving it 27 out of 30.

Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough did a spirited Lindy. Carrie, Bruno and Len all agreed they wanted the couple to go further than that in order to stay in the game. Their score was 8-7-7, giving it 22 out of 30.

The Tango was performed by Lawrence Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska.  Edyta brought in her husband Alec Mazo to rehearsal to show the dance to Taylor. Their stage performance was a bit "heavy" and lacking the essential passion by the judges. Bruno noted to Lawrence his footwork needed work. The score was 7-5-7, giving it 19 out of 30.

Ty Murray and Chelsie Hightower also knocked the Lindy out of the park. Chelsie is petite and Ty's strength made for great lifts.  Carrie loved, loved, loved it promised to give a good score. Bruno complimented Ty's strength and Len was a hoot with his, "Hot dog and darn my britches!" The score was 9-8-8, giving it 25 out of 30.

My secret husband Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff took the stage next with the Argentine tango. He did pretty good!  The judges all looked as if someone left an old shrimp under the desk.  Carrie's face said "enough" while her words had little positive feedback, Len said there was indeed improvement although not much and Bruno hearkened the gutters of Buenos Aires and its stench as description of Woz's performance. The score was 4-4-4, giving it 12 out of 30.

Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani are Gilles and Cheryl's competition. They did a near perfect Lindy, and it was a blast to watch.  Tony is thanking his lucky stars he was paired up with this Texas hoofer.  She's a good dancer, and seems really sweet in the B-Roll.  The judges were impressed by the effortless lifts. Len confided in them moving all the way to the final while Bruno said they had represented all steps in lindy hop. The score was 10-9-10, giving it 29 out of 30.

Holly Madison and Dmitry Chaplin went for tango. She is injured, and also made of wood on the dance floor. Not much hope here for the blond. Both Carrie and Len wanted Holly to have more strength. The score was 5-6-5, giving it 16 out of 30.

Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer did a fun turn with the Lindy hop.  Lacey is a strong dancer and wisely allowed Steve to wear a clown costume (he began his career as a clown) to get into character. The judges had a problem with Steve's timing.  The score was 5-5-5, giving it 15 out of 30.

The stars of the night were Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke, who performed the tango. Cheryl wanted Gilles to use his acting skill and get into the passion of it. Those notes worked Cheryl. The performance received a standing ovation from the audience. Len went on and on about how much chemistry and heat there were while Bruno went nuts calling Gilles a "quintessential Latin love with animal magnetism". Carrie said she had trouble differentiating the professional dancer from the student. The score was 10-10-10, a perfect 30 out of 30.

The Lindy hop was a natural for Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas, as they tumbled their routine. That fact did not go unnoticed, as the judges handed the perky teen some criticism for it.  Like Woz, if were not for Shawn's youth and her dedication to gymnastics, she too would be cursed by her genetics. She is a bit too compact for ballroom dancing. Their score was an 8 -8 - 9 for 25 out of 30.