Smallscreen Features

M&C’s Top Ten Favorite Curves

By Ben Rhudy Jan 30, 2009, 15:21 GMT

The fast-paced action flick Wanted has arrived on Video on Demand (VOD), and M&C thought it was time to check out some of our favorite “curves.”

Top Ten Curves:

1. Bullet Curving (Wanted):

What it is: While most firearms shoot bullets in a straight path, a gun wielded by a true master of the art of assassination can curve them around corners, pillars and even other people with a simple flick of the wrist.Why we picked it: This completely original technique makes our hands itch for the chance to try it out on some baddies. Sure, curving bullets may go against some of the basic laws of physics, but who wouldn’t want to impress Angelina Jolie with a little magical bullet curving?

2. Angelina Jolie’s body (Wanted):What it is: If you don’t know what this woman looks like, come out of your cave and join civilized society. Please!Why we picked it: It’s not difficult to see why most men would make this pick. Angelina Jolie’s curvaceous body is enough to get even the most reserved guy a little hot under the collar. The best part: she’s a mom with a heart for the third world. It just doesn’t get any sexier than that.

3. The Blackberry Curve:What it is: For the modern world’s techno-savvy businessman, the Blackberry curve represents the best of the SmartPhone world. Why we picked it: iPhone who? We all know that Apple’s flagship handset has officially gained the title of “World’s Best Selling SmartPhone.” But before Steve Jobs took the world by storm, the best name in business cell phones was Blackberry, and Research In Motion has been pumping out quality models for years. Your teenage daughter may think her 3G is swell, but for those who balance work with play, the Blackberry Curve is where it’s at.

4. The Ford Ka (Quantum of Solace):What it is: The cute little “eco” car driven by Bond hottie Camille Montes in 2008’s Quantum of Solace.Why we picked it: A car named after the Japanese word for “mosquito?” James Bond isn’t typically one to worry himself with the type of motor vehicle he destroys. Agent 007 can manhandle a priceless vehicle in the time it takes to pour a shaken martini, all for the sake of British Intelligence. In Quantum of Solace, however, our favorite Brit finds himself in the modern equivalent of a Pinto. At least he cares about the environment.

5. Grand Prix racetrack (Speed Racer):What it is: The Grand Prix is the penultimate destination for the hero of 2008’s Speed Racer. For racing fiends, the competitor who wins the Grand Prix challenge is automatically entered into the annals of racing history.Why we picked it: The Grand Prix track is definitely the most nauseating of our picks for Favorite Curves. From mind-warping corkscrews and loops to dangerous half-pipes filled with various hazards, even Speed Racer has a tough time keeping his cool against the odds. The mind-blowing cinematography for the film keeps the viewer in the center of the action, despite the whirlwind of spinning colors and exaggerated physics.

6. Xbox 360 Wireless Controller:What it is: The Xbox 360 controller is the most ergonomic videogame controller around and puts Sony’s DualShock 3 and Nintendo’s WiiMote to shame.Why we picked it: The game team here at Monsters and Critics plays tons of games. With the release of the Xbox 360 controller, with its supple curves that match almost any hand size, they no longer have to work about the dread claw hand or thumb blisters ever again. Now if someone would just let them out of the review closet so they can return to their families.

7. Wesley Gibson’s learning curve (Wanted):What it is: In order to become a professional assassin, Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) must train with world’s elite trained killers, as well as overcome his inherent geeky mawkishness.Why we picked it: There is something endearing about the rise of an underdog. We’ve seen it in countless boxing movies like Rocky and numerous banal teenage comedies. In Wanted, Wesley Gibson goes from a nerdy accountant to bullet-curving killing machine in less than two hours. If this guy can do it, maybe the rest of us slobs can too! Keep the dream alive, buddy!

8. The Dodge Viper (Wanted):What it is: Quite possibly the world’s most affordable supercar, the $80K Dodge Viper is the dream car for those who want to feel like a bad ass while remaining completely street legal.Why we picked it: You all saw the trailer. The Dodge Viper is a cool car by itself, but place Angelina Jolie in one and give her a machine gun and you have something mind-blowing. Bonus points for the first-ever “Mid-Air Barrel Roll While Capping Baddies” moment.

@EPA/ERIC DRAPER / THE WHITE HOUSE / HO EDITORIAL USE ONLY

9. The Oval Office:What it is: Occupied by the most powerful leaders of the free world, the main office of the President of the United States is impressive mostly because it manages to symbolize liberty and strength while looking like your great-grandmother’s dining room.Why we picked it: With the recent inauguration of President Barack Obama, the previously stuffy executive office is already being outfitted with technological toys and gadgets for the new man in charge. Obama will be the first president to use a laptop during work, and will probably have his super secure Blackberry at arm’s-length. Let’s just hope he won’t need a stimulus package to cover those texting charges.

10. The Spirograph:What it is: The toy that awakened a love for geometry in millions of future mathematicians, the Spirograph let kids create geometric shapes with ease using little gears and a pen. Why we picked it: Drawing inspiration from somewhere in between the LightBright and the Etch-A-Sketch, the Spirograph was an easy way to kill five minutes while waiting for commercial breaks to end during Saturday morning cartoons. All you had to do was pick a plastic gear, place it in one of the drilled holes and go around in circles a few times to create masterpieces that only a mother could love. Or maybe Stephen Hawking.