From the depths of time they came, singers and wannabes far and wide. The worst of the worst and the not so bad came to inflict their own brand of pain and suffering on the masses. </P> <P>Yes, that’s right, "X Factor" is back, and the action this week kicked off in Glasgow where Gerry Halliwell fills in for the absent Dannii Minogue. </P> <P>However Cheryl Cole and Louis Walsh are still there to play second fiddle to talent guru Simon Cowell. </P> <P>So what about this weeks auditions I hear you ask? </P> <P>Well there wasn’t really any big stand out moments this week. To be honest the talent pool was rather slim. However we did get to see a few funny auditions, which is always the highlight of the earlier rounds. Perhaps one of the worst acts on display tonight were a band called ‘Diva Features,’ who were out of tune, sounded pitchy as hell, and as Simon Cowell said, “Sounded like they’d met five minutes ago at a bus stop.” </P> <P>One of the highlights was a young girl from Zimbabwe called Gamuchirai Nhengu who had a sound and a vibe all of her own. She sang a fantastic rendition of Walking On Sunshine by Katrina and The Waves. </P> <P>Cheryl Cole was unusually bitchy throughout some of the show, and even had Simon Cowell joking with her, and putting a saucer of milk out for her, which even I found to be somewhat funny. Cole told one act that they should consider auditioning for a children’s television show, which seemed to be a little out of character for her given that she is usually the least critical of all the judges. </P> <P>The show closed out with perhaps one of the most unusual yet unintentionally funny acts you’ll ever see. A lady called Shelina Johnson, who claimed to have had operatic training sang an unusual rendition of Duffy’s hit song ‘Mercy’, the usual thing about it was she totally forgot the words, and decided to improvise, and put on a performance which wouldn’t have been out of place on the Catherine Tate Show. </P> <P>Unbelievably the judges were so amused by it that they put her through to boot camp. </P> <P>All in all this was a fairly good opening for the series, but I don’t think we’ve seen any potential winners yet, other than Gamuchirai Nhengu who the media has tapped to be amongst the finalist. </P> <P> </P> <P> </P> <P> </P> <P> </P> <P> </P>Note the date on this article may be incorrect due to importing it from our old system.