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Rihanna struggles to hide feelings for Chris

Aug 21, 2012, 8:01 GMT

Rihanna

Rihanna finds it hard to hide the fact she still loves Chris Brown.

The 'We Found Love' hitmaker met up with her former boyfriend - who she split from in February 2009 after he assaulted her - while holidaying in St. Tropez, France, recently and says it was 'awkward' because she still has feelings for him.

She said: 'We went to a mutual friend's party on a yacht.

'It's awkward because I still love him. My stomach drops and I have to maintain this poker face and not let it get to the outer part of me.

'I have to maintain that and suppress it and interpret that and understand that is not going to go away.

'That is peaceful. When you don't understand those feelings you can make a lot of mistakes.'

Despite still having feelings for Chris - who was ordered to stay away from Rihanna as part of his sentence for the attack - the 24-year-old singer insists they are nothing more than 'very, very close friends'.

In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, she admitted: 'We have maintained a very close friendship ever since the restraining order was dropped ... We're very, very close friends.'

And the brunette beauty also revealed she was only able to move on from Chris when she 'forgave' him for assaulting her and realised she didn't hate him.

She said: 'I thought I hated Chris and I realised it was love that was tarnished.

'It looked like hate because it was ugly, it was angry, it was inflamed, it was tainted and I realised that what it was. I had to forgive him because I cared about him still. And the minute I let go of that, I started living again.'