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Joan Collins not fond of fatties, Brussels, European Union or shift dresses

By April MacIntyre Aug 22, 2011, 6:18 GMT

05/25/2011 - Joan Collins - "Pygmalion" Press Conference at the Garrick Theatre in London on May 25, 2011 - Garrick Theatre - London, UK © Landmark / PR Photos

Joan Collins is the kind of broad you would love to have a drink or three with. She does not hold back and goes on record saying all sorts of highly quotable fun things.

The dailymail.com got hold of her latest book "The World According To Joan," where Joan dishes about fat people, Mickey Finns and date rape, her pesky "bosoms", Warren Beatty's sexual prowess (lack of it) and even how she is doing the business still at age 78.

‘No, I am not a stick thing. I have bosoms. And not all designers like that,’ she says.

The Daily Mail noted how designer Valentino, tasked to design the frocks for her most famous TV role of Alexis on "Dallas", said, ‘Joan, what are we going to do with ze boom-booms?’

Joan also shared that women of a certain age need to pull themselves together. "‘I don’t do grunge,’ she says. ‘Any woman over a certain age should not be grungy. You must make yourself look the way you would like the world to think about you.’

And for shift dresses? ‘All women look awful in shift dresses, even Nicole Kidman. You’ve gotta be totally titless for them to work.’

Joan reveales that her first husband Maxwell Reed raped her on their first date when she was an 18-year-old virgin.

‘I was 18 going on 13, that is how young people werein the Fiftiess,’ Joan told the Daily Mail. ‘Maxwell picked me up at Hyde Park Corner Tube station in a powder-blue Buick.

‘...He took me to a place called the Country Club in Hanover Square. We walked up lots of stairs to a small, candle-lit apartment where he asked me what I wanted to drink and gave me a rum and Coke.

'It was a Mickey Finn. I was drugged. You must think I am a moron. Oh, this is such a horrible story.

‘He said: 'I am going to have a bath,' which I thought was very strange. He then said: 'Take a look at this book, I think you will find it interesting.'

‘Of course, it was full of disgusting, pornographic photographs. Now, any smart girl today would have got out of there and run down those stairs faster than a speeding bullet, but not little innocent, stupid Joan Collins, who stayed there and looked at the book.

‘The next thing I knew, I was on the sofa and that was it. Then I was throwing up into a bucket.’

‘I only married him because I was so embarrassed that he had taken my virginity,’ she told the Daily Mail.

Joan also has no love for Brussels, the European Union and fat people and refers to big boned as ‘the Orca-sized oafs from Planet Girth’.

Joan adds, ‘I certainly don’t admire them. They are digging their graves with their own teeth. I think to be terribly overweight is incredibly unhealthy. And how do they get into a tiny lavatory on a plane? I feel sorry for them, I do.’

Joan told the Daily Mail she wants Britain to pull out of the European Union. ‘I despise it. It is sucking the life-blood out of this country. Brussels is totally corrupt,’ she says.

Joan gets busy with her husband Percy frequently too: ‘Of course we have sex. We have a very good life in all respects. We are friends, we are lovers, we are compatriots, partners in crime. Yes, there is a diminution in sexual desire as you get older...In your 30s your hormones are raging a lot more than they are in your 70s."

And as for the old Warren Beatty rumors? Joan set the record straight when the Daily Mail asked her if she and Warren Beatty had sex seven times a day with her, back in the 1960s:

She replied: ‘Maybe he did, but I just lay there.’