People News

Jennifer Garner opens up in interview

By April MacIntyre Jan 21, 2010, 20:18 GMT

The Afflecks Fame Pictures, Inc - Santa Monica, CA, USA

Jennifer Garner is featured in a Parade cover story coming up in this Sunday’s issue. 

Garner admits that raising her daughters Violet, 4, and Seraphina, 1, is an emotional struggle.

“I adore going to movie sets and being part of a team trying to create something,” she says. “And yet, I hate to miss even one bedtime with my girls.”

Garner knows that the push-pull she faces is hardly unique. “My sisters both are working mothers,” she says. “I understand that my being an actress as well as being at home isn’t some heroic thing. That doesn’t mean it isn’t confusing or difficult—especially that question of how you find a balance.”

Garner shares her secrets to keeping passion alive with husband Ben Affleck. “You steal the time,” she says. “You steal a date, you steal a kiss, you steal a whisper. You sit next to each other on the couch with computers on your laps. After the kids are asleep you...well, you know.”

She grins. “Whatever it is. You slip away for a night, which we’ve only just now done for the first time. Of course, I call home while we’re away. Ben would be surprised if I didn’t.”
        
On her divorce to actor Scott Foley, Garner reveals: “I had a lot of growing up to do. I’m still conflict-averse. I don’t like to argue. But back then I couldn’t have a fight. I couldn’t work things out because I wasn’t able to say what I needed to say. I didn’t have a voice. I didn’t dare to express myself. It was a huge heartbreak for me to have something fail like that. I knew that this was either an opportunity for growth or I would sink."

She added, “It’s easy when you’re hurt and angry to just say, ‘Oh, it’s them,’ ” she continues. “But I had to come into my own. I thought, ‘Why did this relationship not work? What part of the failure is my responsibility?’ So I went to work on it. I started therapy.”

Garner gained a powerful self-awareness. “It’s not like I didn’t realize I had any issues until I got a divorce,” she recalls. “But I had this professional confidence that wasn’t equaled by my own personal confidence in any relationship, not just with men. There was a disconnect. I realized I needed to be more like my character in 'Alias', who was so powerful and confident and an inspiration to me. I understood very well how to be nice and how to take care of people. I didn’t know how to ask for anything that I needed. It was important to balance it out.”