Courtney Love's blog blather: Panic at the Paltrows

Jul 18, 2008, 11:00 GMT

Courtney Love\'s blog - the minutia of Courntey\'s meandering thoughts and life...© Lee Roth / RothStock / PR Photos

Courtney Love had a panic attack on the way to stay with Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin because she thought she wasn't "good enough" for them.

The former Hole singer - who has had well publicised battles with drug addictions in the past - felt inadequate as she travelled to stay with the 'Shakespeare in Love' actress, who she calls GP, and her Coldplay frontman husband.

She said: "Over the years Gwyneth has always invited me out to London and I have always procrastinated. I was like, 'What if I come out to hang out with her and Chris Martin, who is a genius, and me being such the opposite of who they are.' My 'What if?' worries started to kick in.

"So f**k it! I decide to go to GP and face my fears, I pull up to a neighbourhood near Chelsea. My anxiety is kicking in and I am terrified I am not good enough for GP, for their beautiful lovely home, and lovely lifestyle and lovely family! What if my hair is messy? What if my extensions fall out? What if I have lipstick and spinach stuck between my teeth? What if they don't get my jokes? What if they hate to gossip? What if I accidentally made a stain on Gwyneth's coffee table?"

However, Courtney says she was soon made to feel comfortable by Chris, Gwyneth and their two children - Apple and Moses.

She added on her MySpace blog: "I arrive two minutes early, and before I can even light my nerve smoke, Chris greets me at that gate with a gorgeous smile and a big hug. As I enter the kitchen there's an ashtray, two lighters and two packs of Silk Cuts. Did I just f**king die and go to heaven? Next thing I know I am being kissed by a beautiful woman (GP), wearing an apron! She is all chipper and rubs my head and pinches my cheeks! I am so overwhelmed by the atmosphere and the fact I can f**king have a smoke without getting arrested or kicked out.

"I give GP a big bear hug and just lifted her up off the floor and guess what? She is a slip of a girl and light as a feather and far more beautiful than should be legal with an IQ that I have discovered and cannot reveal, although it is out of this world and much higher than one might think."