People News

Andrew Dice Clay tells off Opie & Anthony

By Stone Martindale May 18, 2007, 1:57 GMT

Andrew Dice Clay - Burbank, CA © Glenn Harris / Photorazzi

Andrew "Dice" Clay is no stranger to controversy, his whole career has been defined by it.  Now he is throwing it down with rival shock jocks Opie & Anthony.  Clay has his own radio show on Sirius, and has some harsh judgement for the two currently suspended.

On March 4, 2007, Andrew Dice Clay premiered his weekly celebreality series "Dice: Undisputed" on VH1. Clay and his entourage attempts to revive his comedy career. The series is produced by Fox, and follows Clay as he writes a book, records a CD and produces his own Sirius satellite radio show.

VH1 Senior Vice President Jeff Olde describes the show as a "real-life 'Entourage,' only with disheveled fortysomething guys in the comedy world."

Dice has now come out on his MySpace blog, which is kind of fruity for a guy in his mid to late 40's, to be blogging on a MySpace blog, but I digress...

Here is the exact quote from Andrew regarding the Opie & Anthony fracas:

"Dear Opie,

Sorry to hear that you've failed again and that the world found out what I already knew. I've told you time and time again, there's a big difference between "filthy" and "funny". There's a big difference between poking fun at somebody and kicking somebody when they're down, which has seemed to be your M.O. I warned you that this would happen.

In a way it's laughable because let's face it- nobody gets silenced from XM once they're hired. They wouldn't can a juggler, a mime- they wouldn't fire a porn star, because at least what they do is poetic and honest. I mean, you really have to be disgusting to be singled out as you have now been. I wouldn't feel bad about it. I would take this time off (which I'm sure you'll have plenty of) to maybe come up with an original concept and find yourself and try to present the country with something original. Be original, don't emulate or try to be what you never can or will be- which is me.

Opie, it's very sad when someone like you hates themselves so much that they take their own true persona and throw it in the garbage when trying to be someone else. I told you a long time ago, DON'T TRY TO BE HOWARD. DON'T TRY TO BE DICE. BE THE BEST OPIE YOU CAN BE from Wyoming or wherever you're from originally. Put on the overalls, grab a pitchfork, and chew tobacco. You see, right there I came up with something that's original and fits you. So, instead of just Opie, how about "Hillbilly Opie" or "Huckleberry Opie". Yeah! That sounds like a great idea. You could go back to XM and say you have a concept for a one hour radio show- "Square Dancing With Opie." Look, I haven't even had time to think about this and look how fast I came up with something. The advertisement could be you at a pig roast playing a banjo on some hay.

All I'm really trying to say is that I feel very bad about this because it could have been avoided if you weren't bent on being Howard Stern. Howard Stern became Howard Stern because it's who he is, he wasn't making believe he was something else. He's a true original. So here we are again- maybe you got a little crazy. Maybe the fact that you couldn't get me to help build your show left you with your back against the wall and you would just try anything. But, whenever you do something haphazardly, it usually fails. I hate to say this again but you have done this repeatedly.

I really wish there was some kind of rehab for people who have lost their edge. Where people like you and Chevy Chase could sit together, reminisce about what it was like to be funny, maybe widdle some wood, and take long walks on a path to nowhere (which is where you've always been going, even when the smoke clears you'll still be on a path to nowhere).  It seems that's how it's always been for you. It's who you are. I really wish I could help in some way, but YOU did this to YOU. Remember that. YOU did this to YOU. YOU did this to Greg "Opie" Hughes.

-ANDREW DICE CLAY

P.S. SAY HI TO ANTHONY FOR ME. HE STILL DOES THE BEST DICE IMPRESSON IN THE BUSINESS, TOO BAD HE'LL HAVE NOWHERE TO DO IT THANKS TO YOU.

P.S.S.- You should have seen me at Westbury, sold out! but you know… that's me! There's a difference between sold out and sell out."