May 16, 2007, 11:30 GMT
Anna Nicole Smith's private diary has been made public - revealing her most private thoughts on sex, men, motherhood and her mother.
Stern and Smith...REUTERS/Hans Deryk/Files
Excerpts from the late Playboy Playmate's journal have been released detailing Anna Nicole's personal thoughts on her life from 1991 to 1992.
The star, who died of an accidental drug overdose aged 39 in February, had written - 'Don't Read!! Personall' - on the cover.
Much of Anna Nicole's diary focuses on her turbulent love life. She writes about a boyfriend, identified only by first name, who drinks and goes out too much.
Describing a row with her lover, Anna Nicole writes - in an entry littered with spelling and grammatical mistakes - that her boyfriend "came unglued. threw me out of his house and broke up with me it was awlful he hit me and my mother".
The diary also sheds light on the blonde's low self-esteem and careless attitude to her health and wellbeing.
On one occasion she draws a sad, crying face and writes, "I'm a very sad person".
Another entry reads: "my mom hates me so much. She is so jealous of me. ... I love my mom but I cant handle it anymore."
Anna Nicole also bared her soul after discovering she was pregnant, saying, "I'm so scared! How can this happen to me", adding that her partner "will hate me. he don't want kid. Can't do it!"
However, one source of joy in the sad tome was Anna Nicole's breast enlargement operation. Of the procedure she wrote: "I'm so excited I could scream. Ahhhhh I just feel so happy."
The excerpts come from a diary which is set to be sold by urauctions.com.
Another diary, written from 1992 to 1994, was sold to a German businessman who bid more than $500,000 in a recent auction. The candid notes contain details about Anna's relationship with elderly oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, whom she was married to for a year before he died in 1995.
(C) BANG Media International
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