Alec Baldwin plans book on injustices to divorced dads
People News
Apr 29, 2007, 1:58 GMT
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Wait until his kid writes one!
The name of the game is to write a book whether you have anything important to say or not.........like relating all your sexual exploits, etc.!!!
Alec may have stories to tell about his experiences, but I certainly won't be reading them. Day in and day out, we hear story upon story about single mothers in this country trying to support their children while deadbeat dads go about their lives with no worries. Alec, cry yourself a river because nobody feels sorry for you...........you made the choice of who to marry, you made the choice to have a child, now live with your choices and figure out a way to make things right for your child.
Too much unfair postings.Disregard celebrtity issues in this and you will see a father who loves his children bur has no access to them .To me his comments on the phone are the result and not the originator of this .Children need their fathers too .And fathers should have equal rights ,but of course equal duties to mothers .
If you have been through the anguish and pain of parental alienation as both Alec Baldwin and I have and continue to do so like thousands upon thousands of other dads, in my case for some 8 years now then I'm quite sure that Parental (Paternal Alianation) for you is a reality beyond compare.
What also must be born in mind in this case is the intense emotional and psychological pressure placed on an estranged father. One only has to read the works of the late Dr Richard Gardener on Parental Alienation and the devastation it causes not only to the child being alienated but also the one it’s being alienated from to see the mental torture it creates within its victims. So yes Alec snapped and yes his daughter and pawn in the middle took the brunt but as I know only to well from my own experience there comes a point when rational, momentary though it may prove to be is overtaken by the intensity of such pressure and this I must emphasize incorporates a father’s love denied invariably by an acrimonious force whose intent may be all to clear and as such can cause one to falter. I for my part can only but empathise with Mr Baldwin having both experienced this destructive force and studied its format under the heading of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) which incidentally is classed as psychological abuse when used on a child or its parent; such is the gravity and nature of the beast employed.
Hence with empathy in mind for both father and daughter I have no reason to doubt that Alec is mortified by his actions and as such will with every support and endeavour seek to make amends by prioritizing his inner emotions in favour of his daughter Ireland’s best interest.
It’s for the above reasons and given the tirade of thoughtless publicity of late that I make the enclosed response, for who am I or indeed anyone else to cast the first stone at Alec Baldwin? We fathers in the UK are far to laid back and slow to speak out on what is inflickted on us day after day by an unjust family law system which favours mothers and views men as little more than sperm donors and open wallets. Its high time we all stood up and be counted and this means the over one millian grandparents who like all grandparents have no legal presumption to ever see their grandchildren again should a vindictive mother so dictate. At the charity National Society for Children and Family Contact we fight on your behalf each and everday but to bring about change requires your commitment your involvement, only as one voice can we ever hope to bring about parity in family law. So its up to you guys to speak out just as Alec Baldwin and we at the NSCFC have.
'Day in and day out, we hear story upon story about single mothers in this country trying to support their children while deadbeat dads go about their lives with no worries.' --Betty
Yes, it is true that is all you hear. It is a huge challenge to look at things from beyond the perspective you are force-fed. Most are unable to do so and so we have the current drastically unfair legal and social situation.
That said, I don't see Alec Baldwin as a spokesman of any sort. He does men and fathers more damage than good. I wish he'd do everyone a favor by showing some humility and concentrating on being a better dad.
There are always two sides to every situation, but it is the child who suffers the most! The divorce is not about them, but they are always caught in the middle of their thoughtless parents. When these people can put the children first instead of their own hatefulness and selfishness, then and only then can these situations come out for the better of all concerned. I agree that many fathers have gotten the worst end of the deal as well as mothers, but never as bad as the children.
Can one parent alienate another from their child's affections and life; sure they can. However, that isn't always the case. In a divorce, a parent who chooses to leave the marriage usually causes the children to feel as if they were abandoned too. Even if the breakdown of the marriage had nothing to do with the children. A non-custodial parent needs to really work hard on staying a part of their children's life, and it isn’t easy. As kids get into middle and high school more of their attention revolves around their friends and not their families, which makes it even harder, when they want to stay in their primary residence because it is closer to their friends, activates and other parts of their lives. The parent who has visitation had better really be working hard. Who is the adult here? It certainly shouldn’t be the child.
Of course it doesn’t help Alex Baldwin’s claim that Kim Bassinger has alienated him from their daughter’s life, when he leaves messages that are either angry, or belittling to either the child or her mother. If I were the Mom in this situation I would be trying to keep him away from the child too. Children in their adolescent years are still fragile in their self-esteem. At the very least he is demonstrating to his daughter how divorced Dads treat their ex-wives (if you believe his statement that it wasn’t directed at the girl). It was addressed to her, so why should she believe it’s not. He needs to take responsibility for his own actions, and the only people who really matter are the people in the situation, not the public. Is it really going to help his daughter to know that her father is going public with his side of the story, dragging the public’s attention towards her as well?
Who knows what is truly going on? All three of them need some group counseling on how to make this divided family situation as healthy as possible for the child, without airing it in public, if the adults are really going to prioritize their daughter’s needs during her growing up years.
The rational thing is to reserve judgment until you know enough to make a meaningful judgment. None of us knows enough to say anything meaningful about this case. So why don't we keep quiet and mind our own lives?
Aww...poor Alec. So he mused he maybe is going to leave the show he is on. This is the same guy who was going to leave the US if Bush got elected.
Fact is he is a unstable jerk who can't control his temper. He shoots from the hip without thinking of what he is saying. In other words, he goes into rages and is a spouse and child abuser.
He is a whiney little Hollywood nobody who now all of sudden wants to write a book. Sure Alec, sure.
I don't for one minute condone what Alec said to his daughter, but as a father in a similar situation can see how the lack of consistent contact with his daughter might cause him a serious lapse in judgment. If he did not deeply care for and love his daughter, the lack of contact would have little effect on him and he would certainly not become so upset.
Although what Alec did was wrong, what the media did was far worse. To play that message for all the world to hear I'm sure harmed Ireland as much or more. To me this is the worst form of child abuse and the editors at all the news agencies that felt it was appropriate to air this voice mail should be held accountable. At the very least they should ask themselves whether selling a few commercials was really worth the embarrassment and humiliation this poor young girl will suffer for the rest of her life. I'm appalled that so many have entirely neglected how airing such a message might impact Ireland. For all those that pretend to be concerned about Ireland, you might consider the impact on her. Instead of this being a private matter between Ireland and her parents, she now has to deal with how her friends, neighbors, schoolmates and the rest of the world perceive it. The most appropriate action would have been to turn the tape over to the family court judge - airing it does nothing but exacerbate the pain and alienation Ireland must feel. You should be ashamed. My heart goes out to Ireland, not only for how her Dad behaved, but for how the callous, selfish and myopic media has interfered.
Poor little Baldwin....Oh, I feel oh so sorry for him. After all, he has millions of dollars. So what is he going to do? Write a book on how bad it is to be an estranged father/sperm donor!!!
Look, here's the deal. If they both have the money, do the right thing for the child and go to mediation. If she is at an age where she can choose the parent, let the poor child choose already!!!!
OMG- the man is going to utilize his fame and fortune to write a book to tell how ungrateful and evil mothers are, instead of trying to fix his temper issue. As a mother (who has never done drugs, alcohol, or partied, much less have a temper issue) who now has joint custody due to the fathers rights movement (the sperm donor never wanted her until I moved out of state- go figure)- I just want to tell Baldwin to grow up- and be a real daddy and suck it up for Ireland. The better he is as a father to her now, the more well-adjusted Ireland will be later on in life. And, as a bonus, she won't be looking for a 'father figure' who will get her pregnant at age 15 or have depression due to her father being such a jerk.
Suck it up, Baldwin, and do what is right for your daughter...she needs you, no matter what the situation.
Many comments here miss the point. Baldwin was wrong in his reaction to his daughter. But it is the custodial parent who often provokes this conflict by using the child in the middle to vent their own grudges (eg: betrayal, money issues etc)they still hold agaist the ex. (father) Remember,'Vengeance hath no fury like the wrath of a woman'. The paradox is that one would expect the mother to have a more nurturing concern for the emotional welfare of the child, but the reality is often the complete opposite. For instance, many mothers do great damage to their children (in an effort to mitigate their own internal anger and frustration) by manipulating visitation time with the father by creating activities that interfere with court ordered visitation schedules. Even though this is in contempt of court orders, family law courts traditionally side with mother because their is this old prevailing stereotype of the fathers as breadwinner and the mothers at home.In the real world, this is clearly no longer the case, and the law here needs to be brought up to speed. It's high time we created some real parity for divorced fathers in the lives of their children, instead of the stone age approach of treating the father as some kind of witless, secondclass parent. After all , we have made great strides in the equality of opportunity for women in general, but in the area of divorced parents of children, women are far more equal than men. This is the imbalance that needs to be addressed. Also, family law needs to wake up to the real damage done by 'parental alienators' and enforce the letter of the law. Wether it be time spent with the father or grandparents, noncompliance by the custodial parent should result in swift fines, jailtime, and in chronic cases of parental alienation, a change in custody, in the 'interests of the child'.
I dont think he did anything wrong, the kid probably pissed him off 1000 times, and he had it, big deal you all have done that to someone or even your kid, so get over it, its not like he hit her. Who cares, what he did was 100% fine. What if his kid stole a car, sniffed coke and robbed an old lady and alec said what he did to her....i think he has every right to. you people are so stupid its disgusting. HE IS 100% right.
There may be valid reasons that a particular parent is estranged. Some parents certainly aren't fit. However, it's important that gender, as such, not be a criteria for whatever arrangement needs to be made.
No one ought to be discriminated against on the basis of gender, yes, that is true - but on the other hand, that ought not become so important of an issue that other valid reasons to keep kids away from a particular parent (or grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc...). Personality disorders, verbal abuse (as we have here), emotional abuse, physical abuse, so on and so forth -- these are all valid reasons.
Of course, physical and sexual abuse recieve a lot of focus these days, but verbal abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, and many other factors shy of physical abuse might make it more desirable to keep a kid away from a particular parent. The freedom of any parent to protect h/er child by keeping h/er away from an unstable parent, the freedom of any parent to protect h/er child from negative influences of any kind ought not be constrained in the name of gender equality.
It is awful important how Mr. Baldwin feels, isn't it? And what would you do if you had a tirade like that on your answering machine? Go give the guy a hug and tell him you love him? It needs to be said again - how does his daugher feel? Again -- maybe SHE should be the one writing the book - what it feels like to have your dad make you the garbage can for his anger management problem.
There is really no excuse - ever - to speak like that to your kids. Period. If there are other problems, deal with those problems. If you don't think you're getting enough visitation rights, there are ways to deal with that. Outbursts like this don't solve existing problems, they create new ones.
I do agree that their are many single mothers trying their hardest to care for children of dead beat fathers.....What about the fathers who are not dead beats? What about the fathers who want to spend time with their children and who do pay child support yet, the mother has control of the situation. If the mother gets angry with the father, or if the father does not do as she wishes she uses the child against him as a tool to hurt the father or to get what she wants.
I have a son who pays child support. As a family we have assisted the mother through out my granddaughter's child hood. We have paid car insurance for the mother, rent, groceries, as well as child support. We have gone out of our way to make sure that my granddaughter has comfort and what she needs, but we have to do it through her mother.
Her mother still has control over our visitations. My son was in court constantly until he finally spoke up and requested family council for all involved. (to included any new boyfriend living in the house hold) Each boyfriend the mother had was a new set of rules for my granddaughter and a new child added to the family.
We do not speak ill of my grand daughters mother (in front of our granddaughter). Nor, do we allow our granddaughter to speak ill of her mother. I can see where the frustration builds up. I'm sure Mr. Baldwin does not think his daughter is a pig. Mothers should not use the child against the father.
I just wanted to input a little information that allot of fathers would love to see their children and would love to care for them. It is the mother that they are having problems with.
As far a irresponsibility, why would a woman have a fling with a creep and think he is going to become a wonderful father after a child is born. That is the problem with most marriages. Maybe all women should read 'Kiss Sleeping Beauty Goodbye' lol
I just wanted to add that I believe it is time someone stood up for divorced dads or fathers of unwed children. Many of them want so badly to see their children and be with them, but they have to follow the rules and orders of the mother which actually makes them a visitor instead of a father. Through family council my son now gets to attend school functions, have my granddaughter after school through out the week etc.
I'm not sure if Mr. Baldwin is on the up and up, but we need someone to stand up for fathers and their children. If Mr. Baldwin is not on the up and up, writing the book might open his eyes and make a good situation out of a bad situation.
Fathers get the shaft in child custody fights. In our culture, a father is nothing more than a sperm donor and a wallet. I understand that women were shafted a century ago and this is rather like revenge, but two wrongs don't a right make. In the end, it is Ireland who will be more damaged by this than either parent. She is 11, more than old enough to understand what's going on, yet to her parents, she's property. What we really need to focus on in this country is not fathers' or mothers' rights, but children's rights.
Yes, a book. Might he write a book called 'How to destroy the self esteem of an eleven year-old'? or ' I didn't want to call her a little pig, but she and my ex made me do it'. Why must he be such a victim? This is the behavior of childen not middle aged adults. I'm sure he will find a sympathetic talk show host who will tell him what he wants to hear. Your ok AB! The world is wrong about you. Now go hire a ghost writer to say the same thing in your new book.
HE WHO HAS NOT SINNED----CAST THE FIRST STONE
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