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Alec Baldwin plans book on injustices to divorced dads
Apr 29, 2007, 1:58 GMT
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Wait until his kid writes one!
The name of the game is to write a book whether you have anything important to say or not.........like relating all your sexual exploits, etc.!!!
Alec may have stories to tell about his experiences, but I certainly won't be reading them. Day in and day out, we hear story upon story about single mothers in this country trying to support their children while deadbeat dads go about their lives with no worries. Alec, cry yourself a river because nobody feels sorry for you...........you made the choice of who to marry, you made the choice to have a child, now live with your choices and figure out a way to make things right for your child.
Too much unfair postings.Disregard celebrtity issues in this and you will see a father who loves his children bur has no access to them .To me his comments on the phone are the result and not the originator of this .Children need their fathers too .And fathers should have equal rights ,but of course equal duties to mothers .
If you have been through the anguish and pain of parental alienation as both Alec Baldwin and I have and continue to do so like thousands upon thousands of other dads, in my case for some 8 years now then I'm quite sure that Parental (Paternal Alianation) for you is a reality beyond compare.
What also must be born in mind in this case is the intense emotional and psychological pressure placed on an estranged father. One only has to read the works of the late Dr Richard Gardener on Parental Alienation and the devastation it causes not only to the child being alienated but also the one it’s being alienated from to see the mental torture it creates within its victims. So yes Alec snapped and yes his daughter and pawn in the middle took the brunt but as I know only to well from my own experience there comes a point when rational, momentary though it may prove to be is overtaken by the intensity of such pressure and this I must emphasize incorporates a father’s love denied invariably by an acrimonious force whose intent may be all to clear and as such can cause one to falter. I for my part can only but empathise with Mr Baldwin having both experienced this destructive force and studied its format under the heading of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) which incidentally is classed as psychological abuse when used on a child or its parent; such is the gravity and nature of the beast employed.
Hence with empathy in mind for both father and daughter I have no reason to doubt that Alec is mortified by his actions and as such will with every support and endeavour seek to make amends by prioritizing his inner emotions in favour of his daughter Ireland’s best interest.
It’s for the above reasons and given the tirade of thoughtless publicity of late that I make the enclosed response, for who am I or indeed anyone else to cast the first stone at Alec Baldwin? We fathers in the UK are far to laid back and slow to speak out on what is inflickted on us day after day by an unjust family law system which favours mothers and views men as little more than sperm donors and open wallets. Its high time we all stood up and be counted and this means the over one millian grandparents who like all grandparents have no legal presumption to ever see their grandchildren again should a vindictive mother so dictate. At the charity National Society for Children and Family Contact we fight on your behalf each and everday but to bring about change requires your commitment your involvement, only as one voice can we ever hope to bring about parity in family law. So its up to you guys to speak out just as Alec Baldwin and we at the NSCFC have.
'Day in and day out, we hear story upon story about single mothers in this country trying to support their children while deadbeat dads go about their lives with no worries.' --Betty
Yes, it is true that is all you hear. It is a huge challenge to look at things from beyond the perspective you are force-fed. Most are unable to do so and so we have the current drastically unfair legal and social situation.
That said, I don't see Alec Baldwin as a spokesman of any sort. He does men and fathers more damage than good. I wish he'd do everyone a favor by showing some humility and concentrating on being a better dad.
There are always two sides to every situation, but it is the child who suffers the most! The divorce is not about them, but they are always caught in the middle of their thoughtless parents. When these people can put the children first instead of their own hatefulness and selfishness, then and only then can these situations come out for the better of all concerned. I agree that many fathers have gotten the worst end of the deal as well as mothers, but never as bad as the children.
Can one parent alienate another from their child's affections and life; sure they can. However, that isn't always the case. In a divorce, a parent who chooses to leave the marriage usually causes the children to feel as if they were abandoned too. Even if the breakdown of the marriage had nothing to do with the children. A non-custodial parent needs to really work hard on staying a part of their children's life, and it isn’t easy. As kids get into middle and high school more of their attention revolves around their friends and not their families, which makes it even harder, when they want to stay in their primary residence because it is closer to their friends, activates and other parts of their lives. The parent who has visitation had better really be working hard. Who is the adult here? It certainly shouldn’t be the child.
Of course it doesn’t help Alex Baldwin’s claim that Kim Bassinger has alienated him from their daughter’s life, when he leaves messages that are either angry, or belittling to either the child or her mother. If I were the Mom in this situation I would be trying to keep him away from the child too. Children in their adolescent years are still fragile in their self-esteem. At the very least he is demonstrating to his daughter how divorced Dads treat their ex-wives (if you believe his statement that it wasn’t directed at the girl). It was addressed to her, so why should she believe it’s not. He needs to take responsibility for his own actions, and the only people who really matter are the people in the situation, not the public. Is it really going to help his daughter to know that her father is going public with his side of the story, dragging the public’s attention towards her as well?
Who knows what is truly going on? All three of them need some group counseling on how to make this divided family situation as healthy as possible for the child, without airing it in public, if the adults are really going to prioritize their daughter’s needs during her growing up years.
The rational thing is to reserve judgment until you know enough to make a meaningful judgment. None of us knows enough to say anything meaningful about this case. So why don't we keep quiet and mind our own lives?
Aww...poor Alec. So he mused he maybe is going to leave the show he is on. This is the same guy who was going to leave the US if Bush got elected.
Fact is he is a unstable jerk who can't control his temper. He shoots from the hip without thinking of what he is saying. In other words, he goes into rages and is a spouse and child abuser.
He is a whiney little Hollywood nobody who now all of sudden wants to write a book. Sure Alec, sure.
I don't for one minute condone what Alec said to his daughter, but as a father in a similar situation can see how the lack of consistent contact with his daughter might cause him a serious lapse in judgment. If he did not deeply care for and love his daughter, the lack of contact would have little effect on him and he would certainly not become so upset.
Although what Alec did was wrong, what the media did was far worse. To play that message for all the world to hear I'm sure harmed Ireland as much or more. To me this is the worst form of child abuse and the editors at all the news agencies that felt it was appropriate to air this voice mail should be held accountable. At the very least they should ask themselves whether selling a few commercials was really worth the embarrassment and humiliation this poor young girl will suffer for the rest of her life. I'm appalled that so many have entirely neglected how airing such a message might impact Ireland. For all those that pretend to be concerned about Ireland, you might consider the impact on her. Instead of this being a private matter between Ireland and her parents, she now has to deal with how her friends, neighbors, schoolmates and the rest of the world perceive it. The most appropriate action would have been to turn the tape over to the family court judge - airing it does nothing but exacerbate the pain and alienation Ireland must feel. You should be ashamed. My heart goes out to Ireland, not only for how her Dad behaved, but for how the callous, selfish and myopic media has interfered.
Poor little Baldwin....Oh, I feel oh so sorry for him. After all, he has millions of dollars. So what is he going to do? Write a book on how bad it is to be an estranged father/sperm donor!!!
Look, here's the deal. If they both have the money, do the right thing for the child and go to mediation. If she is at an age where she can choose the parent, let the poor child choose already!!!!
OMG- the man is going to utilize his fame and fortune to write a book to tell how ungrateful and evil mothers are, instead of trying to fix his temper issue. As a mother (who has never done drugs, alcohol, or partied, much less have a temper issue) who now has joint custody due to the fathers rights movement (the sperm donor never wanted her until I moved out of state- go figure)- I just want to tell Baldwin to grow up- and be a real daddy and suck it up for Ireland. The better he is as a father to her now, the more well-adjusted Ireland will be later on in life. And, as a bonus, she won't be looking for a 'father figure' who will get her pregnant at age 15 or have depression due to her father being such a jerk.
Suck it up, Baldwin, and do what is right for your daughter...she needs you, no matter what the situation.
Many comments here miss the point. Baldwin was wrong in his reaction to his daughter. But it is the custodial parent who often provokes this conflict by using the child in the middle to vent their own grudges (eg: betrayal, money issues etc)they still hold agaist the ex. (father) Remember,'Vengeance hath no fury like the wrath of a woman'. The paradox is that one would expect the mother to have a more nurturing concern for the emotional welfare of the child, but the reality is often the complete opposite. For instance, many mothers do great damage to their children (in an effort to mitigate their own internal anger and frustration) by manipulating visitation time with the father by creating activities that interfere with court ordered visitation schedules. Even though this is in contempt of court orders, family law courts traditionally side with mother because their is this old prevailing stereotype of the fathers as breadwinner and the mothers at home.In the real world, this is clearly no longer the case, and the law here needs to be brought up to speed. It's high time we created some real parity for divorced fathers in the lives of their children, instead of the stone age approach of treating the father as some kind of witless, secondclass parent. After all , we have made great strides in the equality of opportunity for women in general, but in the area of divorced parents of children, women are far more equal than men. This is the imbalance that needs to be addressed. Also, family law needs to wake up to the real damage done by 'parental alienators' and enforce the letter of the law. Wether it be time spent with the father or grandparents, noncompliance by the custodial parent should result in swift fines, jailtime, and in chronic cases of parental alienation, a change in custody, in the 'interests of the child'.
I dont think he did anything wrong, the kid probably pissed him off 1000 times, and he had it, big deal you all have done that to someone or even your kid, so get over it, its not like he hit her. Who cares, what he did was 100% fine. What if his kid stole a car, sniffed coke and robbed an old lady and alec said what he did to her....i think he has every right to. you people are so stupid its disgusting. HE IS 100% right.
There may be valid reasons that a particular parent is estranged. Some parents certainly aren't fit. However, it's important that gender, as such, not be a criteria for whatever arrangement needs to be made.
No one ought to be discriminated against on the basis of gender, yes, that is true - but on the other hand, that ought not become so important of an issue that other valid reasons to keep kids away from a particular parent (or grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc...). Personality disorders, verbal abuse (as we have here), emotional abuse, physical abuse, so on and so forth -- these are all valid reasons.
Of course, physical and sexual abuse recieve a lot of focus these days, but verbal abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, and many other factors shy of physical abuse might make it more desirable to keep a kid away from a particular parent. The freedom of any parent to protect h/er child by keeping h/er away from an unstable parent, the freedom of any parent to protect h/er child from negative influences of any kind ought not be constrained in the name of gender equality.
It is awful important how Mr. Baldwin feels, isn't it? And what would you do if you had a tirade like that on your answering machine? Go give the guy a hug and tell him you love him? It needs to be said again - how does his daugher feel? Again -- maybe SHE should be the one writing the book - what it feels like to have your dad make you the garbage can for his anger management problem.
There is really no excuse - ever - to speak like that to your kids. Period. If there are other problems, deal with those problems. If you don't think you're getting enough visitation rights, there are ways to deal with that. Outbursts like this don't solve existing problems, they create new ones.
I do agree that their are many single mothers trying their hardest to care for children of dead beat fathers.....What about the fathers who are not dead beats? What about the fathers who want to spend time with their children and who do pay child support yet, the mother has control of the situation. If the mother gets angry with the father, or if the father does not do as she wishes she uses the child against him as a tool to hurt the father or to get what she wants.
I have a son who pays child support. As a family we have assisted the mother through out my granddaughter's child hood. We have paid car insurance for the mother, rent, groceries, as well as child support. We have gone out of our way to make sure that my granddaughter has comfort and what she needs, but we have to do it through her mother.
Her mother still has control over our visitations. My son was in court constantly until he finally spoke up and requested family council for all involved. (to included any new boyfriend living in the house hold) Each boyfriend the mother had was a new set of rules for my granddaughter and a new child added to the family.
We do not speak ill of my grand daughters mother (in front of our granddaughter). Nor, do we allow our granddaughter to speak ill of her mother. I can see where the frustration builds up. I'm sure Mr. Baldwin does not think his daughter is a pig. Mothers should not use the child against the father.
I just wanted to input a little information that allot of fathers would love to see their children and would love to care for them. It is the mother that they are having problems with.
As far a irresponsibility, why would a woman have a fling with a creep and think he is going to become a wonderful father after a child is born. That is the problem with most marriages. Maybe all women should read 'Kiss Sleeping Beauty Goodbye' lol
I just wanted to add that I believe it is time someone stood up for divorced dads or fathers of unwed children. Many of them want so badly to see their children and be with them, but they have to follow the rules and orders of the mother which actually makes them a visitor instead of a father. Through family council my son now gets to attend school functions, have my granddaughter after school through out the week etc.
I'm not sure if Mr. Baldwin is on the up and up, but we need someone to stand up for fathers and their children. If Mr. Baldwin is not on the up and up, writing the book might open his eyes and make a good situation out of a bad situation.
Fathers get the shaft in child custody fights. In our culture, a father is nothing more than a sperm donor and a wallet. I understand that women were shafted a century ago and this is rather like revenge, but two wrongs don't a right make. In the end, it is Ireland who will be more damaged by this than either parent. She is 11, more than old enough to understand what's going on, yet to her parents, she's property. What we really need to focus on in this country is not fathers' or mothers' rights, but children's rights.
Yes, a book. Might he write a book called 'How to destroy the self esteem of an eleven year-old'? or ' I didn't want to call her a little pig, but she and my ex made me do it'. Why must he be such a victim? This is the behavior of childen not middle aged adults. I'm sure he will find a sympathetic talk show host who will tell him what he wants to hear. Your ok AB! The world is wrong about you. Now go hire a ghost writer to say the same thing in your new book.
HE WHO HAS NOT SINNED----CAST THE FIRST STONE
Q: What do you call a lawyer with the IQ of 50?
A: Your Honor...
The problem with alienation of Fathers from their kids, particularly in California, is a lopsided judiciary that awards total custody to the Mother, more often than not, unless some extraordinary morals issue (Morals? In California? How funny is that?) is involved. I am professionally aware of several cases that, in any other state, with the possible exception of New York (yes, let the laughing die down) would have resulted in at least joint custody, not alternating weekends, months and occasional holidays. True, Mr. Baldwin is no saint, but what individual is, including the opposing combatant Ms. Basinger? Mr. Baldwin has most likely met his saturation point in the unfair struggle of trying to have an equal influence and voice in the raising of his child.
I do not have any respect for a parent that would call his child a pig. This man is abusive to his daughter and should not have access to her. He may state that this is the only time he had done this but I don't believe it. He needs to get into counseling for anger management. It appears that if he can't have his way he explodes. I wouldn't read any thing he writes about 'poor divorced men with children.' If he wanted to do what is right he would get help and quit this horrific battle that appears to be designed to make his ex miserable. I also do not plan on ever going to another movie he is in. He is over and out.
Just to clarify a few points, the research shows that fathers who seek custody, especially when there is a court order enjoining contact with the mother, frequently do get custody. They almost certainly get visitation, whatever their history of abuse. Second, recent research finds that joint physical custody is hard on kids: a primary home with a consistent set of rules, all the kid's stuff, etc., is best. Sharing custody is not a good idea when there is a lot of conflict between the parents. There are many mechanisms for the noncustodial parent to maintain a strong relationship with the child without involving the custodial parent in the exchange of the child. (Baldwin and Bassinger have the resources to make such arrangements, which can be difficult for parents without means.)
In addition, the fathers' rights movement writer from England cited Dr. Richard Gardner. The American Psychological Association and most courts do not accept the validity of Parental Alienation Syndrome, for good reason. It is a highly politicized concept, not a tested psychological constract. Gardner himself was one of the extremely rare cases of a father who was not granted custodial access to his children because of sexual abuse allegations. (Sexual abuse allegations generally do not result in such court orders; it is too difficult to substantiate them.)
Courts rule in the best interest of the child; they do not rule in the best interest of the mother. However, they also respect fathers' rights.
Turning to the particular, Baldwin does have issues -- it is not simply stress caused by the mother that led to hid verbal attack on his young daughter; it was not uncharacteristic or aberrant behavior. He has made nasty, demeaning remarks in public about other women, on stage, unwarranted. He seems to have generalized hostility issues. That does not necessarily mean he should not be a father and should not have a relationship with his daughter; it does mean that it would probably be best for his daughter if their time together were supervised and monitored. It is important that all involved respect the court orders. If the court ordered scheduled telephone conversations with his daughter, then the custodial parent should ensure that those appointments be kept. Unfortunately, sometimes the court orders something that the child doesn't want or that is not necessarily beneficial for the child. The child should have a law guardian appointed by the court who should bring such problems to the attention of the court. The role of law guardian is too limited in New York (and not all law guardians fulfill that limited role as they should) and the child's interests are therefore not protected.
To reiterate my main point, objective research does not support the claims that father's are denied access to their children; it does show that courts do respect fathers' parental rights -- even to the detriment of the child; and that courts generally consider that child support does require giving the father access. The 'bias' in the courts stems from the fact the parent who provides most of the child's care and is most familiar with the child's friends, teachers, doctors, etc., is usually awarded primary custody, and that parent is usually the mother. The idea that Alec Baldwin wants full custody of his daughter, that he is the more engaged and fit parent, does not seem plausible. 'Parental Alienation,' Gardner's mythical construct, refers to one parent alienating the child from the other parent. It seems that Baldwin has done the alienating on his own.
Alec has highlighted a very serious issue which puts the UK high in the league of alienation of parents. Its the laughing stock of Europe in this category.
1)The court never challenges the ridiculous claims a mother may make against the father
2)She is awarded government money to defend and divorce, the father never gets help and is compelled to supply a financial support to the child regardless of the situation, in some cases the mother earns more.
3)If the father is in financial trouble due to court time, time off work, de-motion and sometimes exhaustion, which usually turns into DEAD BEAT or he has a screw loose
4)Most of the symptoms above start with mind games from the mother stopping and starting the access as she sees fit regardless of the courts orders.
5)99% of the judgments go against fathers
6)The UK is the only country in Europe that does not seperate the child from financial settlement.
7)The UK legal system should hang its head in shame when it reads the stats on dead beat fathers as not all are just walking away, in fact most are unable to continue the divorce through financial issues caused by the woman and the legal fraternity milking the legal aid (EVEN smart woman don't see this as taking the money away from the children) (woman underestimate the emotional damage they inflict through there own selfishness with the children)
8)Most fathers cant pay due to financial ruin through the legal system and have 2 choices continue to fight and face even further financial burdens OR back off and try to pay off the burden and then re-engage at a later time (usually the courts announce judgements with the absence of the father or one of the parents.
Usually fathers who continue to fight and face a greater financial burden, have this go against them in the final judgement anyway.
The legal system needs to change as I feel this empowers woman who (not all) are selfish to use the law for there own gain, money and NO ACCESS.
How many woman take the children to the father when the access is to be executed ?
How many woman are allowing access when the father faces financial cash flow issues due to paying for a new home, pay high legal costs, take time off work without pay ?????
Scenario:man leaves home due to marriage breakdown, woman retains house possessions and children, probably finds another boyfriend willing to pay his way, whilst the ex-Husband pays for running costs of house etc = Run up to dead beat dad, this a term used very loosely and I wonder how many men leave the children the night he leaves the home and never returns, that is in essence a definition of dead beat dad.
After all that when some dads get to the end of the divorce, they end up with being a weekend dad, usually every other weekend, I believe McDonald's benefit from this.
Alec sounds abusive to me. Alienated from his child and frustrated by the legal system--his remarks to Ireland reflect a inherent thoughtlessness, immaturity, and disrespect. Kim may or may not exemplify the epitome of mental health, either, but Alec does not seem to be a fit father. Emotional abuse, while not recognized by law as a true detriment to a child's wellbeing, is, in reality, just as damaging as a punch or slap. Mr. Baldwin left a clearly abusive message on his daughter's voice mail, and regardless of who leaked the message, and despite his frustration at not being able to speak with his child as planned, I'm sure this is not the first time he has 'blown it'. It is, instead, the first time his outbursts caught the public eye. It's about time to stop making excuses for inexusable behavior. Hope Kim gets full custody.
For the person who said women were shafted a century ago, and things are different now - wake up! Women are expected to be breadwinners as well as nurturers, and balance the two in ways men are given a pass on.
People whine about men being seen as sperm donors and wallets - too often they are content to be just that, because it requires less responsibility. I know fathers who don't get involved in the lives of their children beyond the most superficial aspects, and yet they suddenly discover how important children are when they divorce their wives?
All this is laughable; if men attempted to be equal partners in raising their children from the outset, they would have more clout in protesting the fact that mothers are preferred custodians. But no, as usual, the problem is with the system, not with the fathers themselves.
I am a father going through a similar situation. My child and I had a great relationship. The moment my soon-to-be ex-wife decided to seek a divorce, she consulted with an attorney, and three days later she called the police and made false allegations against me in the nature of physical abuse against wife, child abduction, threats to kill and mental issues. Criminal charges were later dropped.
The court granted my wife sole legal custody of my child. Although I have never abused my child, the court remains unpersuaded to reinstate my right to have a joint legal custody of my child. My wife is using my son to gain an advantage in the disposition of marital property. She offered to 'let' me see my son, in exchange for the entire marital property.
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) occurs when the custodial parent (mother) wishes to hurt the non-custodial parent who truly loves the child. She hates the ex-husband because his presence is felt through his children. She will constantly push his buttons and demean him in front of his children. She will humiliate him and embarass him. She will portray him as just a 'sperm donor' until his identity is no longer noticeable. She will not stop. Her task is complete only when the children no longer identify with the father.
Often, such abused fathers, will give in, and many a father-child relationships disappear only to be revisited many years later by the now grown up children who were PAS victims. 'Where were you dad' they will ask.
Fathers should hold their ground. Never give up looking for your child, and for this, your child will always be grateful.
This is what I tell my child, 'I will never stop looking for you.' My only concern is, will the court find my stubbornness and my unconditional love for my child, acceptable.
When Ireland kills herself when she is 18, are either of these witless idiots going to care who did what when? The child should be removed from both thier custody and given to a nice family who will raise her privately.
It is my opinion that the problem lies in the black/white nature of most people's views on this subject. Moms good/Dads bad. Mom caregiver/Dad breadwinner. To lump all men and all women into these two categories with no shades of gray is what will hold any sort of progress in the family law system from moving forward. If society truly wants to move toward having Fathers take an equal role in the caregiving aspect of their children's lives than the court system should reflect and encourage that. What the system does now is view most men as near criminal the minute the divorce is final by ordering set times and days the Father can see his children and also an indisputable set percentage of his salary. A typical schedule is Fri-Sun every two weeks with one after school visit during the interim weeks and the set child support is 25% of the man's salary per child (with adjustments made for the actual number of children obviously.) In some states now if a man is unable to pay this amount for whatever reason (including unemployment which can happen to any one at any time right?) the Father may lose time with his child and could be held in contempt NO QUESTIONS ASKED, even if the Father tries to make arrangements with the child's mother (such as a temporary reduction in support.) Technically this means a Father could be faced with the choice of continuing to pay full support to the Mother (who could be married to a billionaire and driving around in gold plated Mercedes) and losing his house or home OR choose to have a place to live not only for himself and his current wife and children (if applicable) but also the child he's paying support for. That child needs a home to see his/her Father at and a place to stay during the Father's parenting time right? And what about the Father's current children? Isn't the message the court sends to them: 'You're not as important as your stepbrother/sister. THEY get your Dad's money even if it means you live on the street.' Best interests of the child? Not always.
I sympathize with Alec Baldwin. He snapped. People snap. I dont know the full story but those of you with children reading this, take a moment and think back through all the comments youve made to your children. I can think of one of two I'd pay anything to take back. What about you?
Divorce courts are a cesspools of thieves where parasites feed off the clients churning cases sucking up you wealth fraudulenting arguing that need not be argued since almost everything argued is settled law.
Judges are as fraudulent as ALL the lawyers.
Battling Parental Alienation in this country is a private battle for a lot of Fathers. You are so quick to judge we who live in glass houses should not throw stones. Mothers in this country are just as guilty of leaving and abandoning children as Fathers. Maybe those who seem so passionate about this cause should look up Parental Alienation Syndrome on the net and do alittle research. And then make your judgements on what you feel is right or wrong...
Who cares about what Baldwin thinks about anything? Being a jerk makes one an expert on life--give me a break! Celebrities have an overblown opinion of their own importance. Just listening to his rant to his daughter, one can see he is an ordinary deviate with no special attributes. Humility is what he needs. Hopefully a family court would be able to help install some.
Is the same Alec Baldwin that said in the year 2000...'If Geroge Bush wins, I am going to move out of the country' ?
dak
Reading this made me think that this could be the worst book idea since OJ's 'IF I Did It' fiasco. As a divorced father of three I would hate to even think that this idiot has the ability to get a book published. Who's next and who is the idiot of a publisher?
Any man (I don't think he qualifies as a father) who would scream at his elevn year old daughter like this should have all of his rights to see the kid taken away until such time as the daughter chooses to see him!
Reading this made me think that this could be the worst book idea since OJ's 'IF I Did It' fiasco. As a divorced father of three I would hate to even think that this idiot has the ability to get a book published. Who's next and who is the idiot of a publisher?
Any man (I don't think he qualifies as a father) who would scream at his elevn year old daughter like this should have all of his rights to see the kid taken away until such time as the daughter chooses to see him!
I d'ont think he's the only parent to say bad think to his child. In some time of our life like parents, maybe we did the same, not with such of bad words, but we are all differents. Maybe he can understand now how bad can be for a child to be treated like a pig, I hope he did.
Enough is enough. Women in the USA has been so loose and wonton spreading sin and destruction to US families structure which is killing the country.
Why is the divorce rate so high even though it is a sin? Girls said ':I made a mistake!, Don't you have a brain before you date and to in bed with a guy? Just looking at the face?? How about see to it that the guy goes to church, God fearing man, responsible man, and forget sex for ground of marriage?
Wake up America, Go for it Alec, almost all men have become a victim and coward.
My heart goes out to Mr. Baldwin. I am not a major fan of hollywood or movie stars, but I certainly feel for his situation. Yeah, maybe it was wrong what he said to his daughter, but my personal opinion is a child should honor the father and mother. Many children in USA are disrespectful, talk back and make the parents go crazy. I bet many of the hypocrites on here who said Alec should never be able to see his child again for calling her a thoughtless pig, probably have screamed and shouted obscenities at their children as well, but won't admit it. They are angry at Alec for standing up for his rights. Men are abused badly in America by their women. We draw a conclusion of all mankind, by the misdeeds of a few very bad men in this country. It is true there is deadbeat dads who run away from their children. Of course, nobody thinks of all the deadbeat wives who divorce a man to get his alimony payments. Many forget about the number of women who go to abortion clinics after they find out they are pregnant and kill their baby without even informing the man.
The man is angry for how he is being alienated by his selfish wife and the court. He feels emotionally unstable, cause he feels his daughter is giving into his mother and the courts. They all are telling each other he is the bad guy and he feels like scapegoat. The man loves his daughter, he certianly did not handle things correctly, and being a movie star adds to the pressure. Personally, I think all those who are gloating over Baldwin's leaked discussion ought to lose the rights to see their children. I pray to God Alec gets custody of his daughter.. I bet if Kim Basinger called her daughter a selfish pig, nobody would give a damn at all... But Mr. Baldwin is under a microscope, and if he even raises his voice to loud, he will be labeled as emotionally unstable and child abuser, who should never be allowed to see any child again.
Shame on all you sexists and arrogant people.
This is a great subject! I still remember my 12 years of marriage and my three children born from it. I am retired now, but for 30 years I was a law enforcement officer. I was often on the road and detailed to another countries and/or states. I never suspected that I married a 'wife cheater' - until I was served with a divorce complaint. My former wife and mother of my three kids fell in love with her last lover. While I was on a 1 week business trip, she cleaned our bank account and put all of our life savings under her own name in a different account, I was kicked out of our new big home and as I was leaving, the 'boyfriend' was moving in. We settled our of court because in Arizona like most other states 'ADULTERY' means nothing on non-fault divorces. My ex-wife kept almost 1/2 of my federal pension and started receiving child support almost 10 years ago. She kept 50% of our life savings and I ended up paying her own divorce lawyer! When I was kicked out of MY HOUSE (my ex-wife never wanted to work while we were married), I moved into a one bedroom small studio, heart and financially broken.
Why every time this idiot opens his mouth do we have to hear it or see him in the news. Could care less what he does or says. Wish I could filter him out of my web pages.
Courts hold fathers accountable for every penny a fathere owes for child support. Fall behind for any reason and see what happens.
When will the system start holding mothers accountable for the spending of every penny on the child? Are fathers to believe that ALL the child support money paid, is spent for its intended purpose? Are fathers to believe that, SOME mothers do not dip into this money for their own personal use? Who knows? The courts have no regulations as they do on fathers, to monitor mothers spending. Why not?
A one sided system with too many loose ends, that allows mothers to spend child support money, without accountability.
Free counselling and full support of the legal system is available to mothers. Those same services should be available to men, but they are not.
An unfair system that gives fathers few rights and little to no equality. With mothers usually in complete control of the child support money, and the child.
Fathers are treated as piggybanks. When the money stops for health, loss of job, any reason, the man is taken to court and many times jailed.
And this is America!
chuck
Alec, *Newsflash* Men have been being abused by divorce courts for years.
Anyone who has watched this man over the last 20-30 years probably comes to one conclusion. When he speaks the words written for him by Tom Clancy or others, he is convincing and fools most. However, when he is running on internals, he isn't hooked up to much, and 'isn't worth spit,' as the old folk might have said, and fools no one.
Baldwin, is a loose cannon,plain and simple,his brothers are fruit cakes too when have you read anything positive about any of them...
Alex stressed-out and said something in the heat of the moment in which his wife is apparently exploiting to the hilt. Hiring a bodyguard smacks of pure grandstanding on her part. Man-hating (are there any other kind) feminists have taught conniving women and the courts to exhibit an unfair bias in the majority of USA court cases. And to give the old tired 'deadbeat dad' argument is deflecting criticism of the real problem. If men were given custody of children in the same ratios as women, you would likely see the same amount of 'deadbeat moms'. Instead, women have unfair rights in most cases, thanks to the efforts of irresponsible feminists. (Yes, I know those last two words are redundant.)
The sooner he decides and accepts to shut up and let time pass the sooner he will look better to the public. So many previous stars or public faces have successfully done this only method or option that he currently has.
He wont. I would put money on it that he shares a few more rude, crazy comments before he catches on or his agent finally beats it into his thick skull. Let's just hope he leaves his daughter out of his rantings in the future. What a messed up monster; to verbally abuse a child like that.
KIMO+
Ms Basinger...if Mr Baldwin is 'unstable and irrational' why did you have a child with him? We need to be a bit more choosy about the people we mate with. If Ms Basinger was not able to care for their child she would still be, as she puts it, putting their child in the custody of an 'unstable and irrational' person. A lesson for the rest of us. If you think that behavior started after they seperated or after the child was born- your way of thinking is irrational.
this divorce/custody has been going on for seven years...if that is what Ireland has heard for more than half her life, than it's no wonder why she doesn't answer the phone...
Parental Alienation is a theory, an opinion - discredited by the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges.
What Alec did was emotionally abuse a child. What child would want to visit a parent who treated him or her like that? Allowing runaway emotions to destroy the trust in the most important relationships in your life and then blaming your inability to control your actions on someone or something other than yourself is quite a stretch. Unfortunately all the blaming in the world will not repair the damage he inflicted on his relationship with his child.
Writing a book will possible make him feel much better. How will it make his child feel when she reads it?
For more information see the stop family violence web site.
Divorced dads all too often get a bum rap because they're automatically discriminated against in court. Automatically! Little by little this inequity is coming into the daylight. While we need more books exposing this, it's unfortunate that one would come from Alec Baldwin as he is not exactly a shining example of a good dad.
Noone ever thinks of the father, the world just goes for what the mothers want who cares if the father lives a normal life or not. Maybe if the mothers go thru what fathers do and live on a few dollars and try to make a life for them, maybe things would be different and there wont be deadbeats father. The courts should not take everything from a father. Just because he lost his temper doesnt mean he a bad father, there women out there that can do that but who cares that rigbht their women, maytbe women should walk a mile in a father shoes and see why their deadbeats out there,
If the courts were fair in their decisions, you wouldn't hear the media going on incessantly about 'deadbeat dads' and 'poor single moms'. One would have to be quite naive to think that if virutally all of the custodies were given to the fathers and child support to the mothers, that there wouldn't be just as many deadbeat moms.
One also must be naive to think that one, or even a handful of spiteful tongue-lashings and name-callings is going to destroy a lifetime of love between a child and a parent. Don't underestimate the power of self or the ability to understand in children, or the strength they gain from working through adversity... if they are allowed to love and be loved, just like any other relationship, the result of an angry outburst is not always the dreaded 'permanent loss of self esteem' or 'lifetime emotional scarring'.
What is likely more damaging to Ireland or any other child, is to have someone they love so harshly judged, those judgements made by complete strangers and spread with a viscious persistence by the media.
I know plenty of divorced couples with children. Whether the divorce was amicable or not, they cooperated for the benefit of their children. What I have observed (and most divorced men I know agree)that the men who cry PAS or 'father's rights' are men that had no interest in their children until their divorce. The only reason at all they wanted joint custody was to have some sort of control over their ex-wife. While I'm sure there are bad women out there, by no means are they in the majority. This is only a dilemma to the men that all of a sudden realize they aren't going to be in control of their wife anymore and when the split happens, they decide they want to play daddy. Case en pointe: Friend of mine - her husband leaves her for another woman. My friend makes more money than him so he doesn't want to pay child support so they go for joint custody. My friend was happy that he agreed to joint custody because the children would see more of thier father than they ever did during the marriage. After 7 months of having to take care of his kids, he decides that he would rather pay child support and be weekend daddy as it's much easier to hand over a pay check than to actually have to raise and care for his kids.
For those of you crying 'poor Alec', you obviously didn't do any research. For if you had, you would discover what an absolute jerk he is with a history of violent outbursts and nutty behavior.
Unless you have walked in his shoes, you probably do not know what you are talking about.
The mother could be vindictive OR protective. And to be fair, so could the father. There is even the remote, but possible scenario of the daughter being necessarily rebuked (whether correctly or not).
What parent, truly involved with their kids, doesn't have an exasperated moment? I am NOT defending the comment or name calling he has done. Those actions have their own poisonous influence upon a child and often do not have a positive impact on them. In fact it might even be a clue to his real character with her.... but it might not be also.
I AM a single father of five, with four at home. There ARE truths that can be embellished, taken out of context or twisted by parents to hurt the other. I have experienced them. To someone outside the
To the outside observer, which all of us are, it is possible the true nature of this will be understood only by the parents. Even the children can be 'used' by a bitter or dysfunctional parent. One or the other... or BOTH can successfully be portrayed as the 'bad guy' and it will be left to a (hopefully wise) court to decide the truth. It is sad that the child will be the one suffering most from those that were supposed to be a source of comfort and security.
Chuck, I have equal rights as 'mothers' in the 'system'. It has been required of me to go to MANY meetings where I was the only male in a room full of single mothers. I have been treated equally. I feel court has been more lenient to women than men tho. She has repeatedly been only in contempt of court, where I believe a man would have been in jail.
i agree that one should reserve their comments until all information is given. therefore, i don't feel that anyone should exploit their children nor the situation as a means of getting even. if mr balwin chooses to write this book as a tool to expose the injustices and prejustices that have plagued our family court system for years, then i'm all for it.
i was a child of divorced parents and my father (too) was a deadbeat. i am currently going through a divorce where my (so to be) ex-wife left me for a life of single-hood. i think that our family court system wrongly pentilizes the father, even when he is a great dad and was a good husband. don't get me wrong, i will continue to do everything i can for my children. i just don't believe that i should be forced to live out a life of financial challenges due to the selfishness of my childrens mother.
dads of this world, love your children.
I completely agree that no one knows all the intimate details of this couple's life together or apart. What you see isn't always what you get, and it makes no sense to pass judgement on either of them one way or the other. I personally think the person who made the tape public is pathetic, with no thought of the child whatsoever!!
He's a just another celebrity putz.
Off the nuclear issue, now after the court system and mama's.
Way to go.
Stop all support payments.
Justice for men, love the new slogan.
You got my support.
I have a daughter who I love. She is now in her mid 30's and a successful executive. Her mom grew up on a Midwestern farm and we hardly knew each other when we married. Unlike her, I had no family growing up and poured my energies into our daughter. I taught her to swim and dive at four, took her for long walks where I taught her to identify native plants and trees, we explored new construction sites and slid down dirt piles. We had glorious fun together. I was always trying to engage her mind. We'd dance to Tschovsky, solve problems together, and I saw to it that she had simple tasks and responsibilities that gave her pride -- beginning when she was two years old. I wanted her to have the best possible formative experience as preparation for the future. We'd often invite her mother to join our outings, but her preferance was to sit at home and watch TV.
Early on, her mother and I agreed that the best investment we could make was for her to be a full-time mom. She was. She stayed home and taught our daughter to bake and cook, to feel at home in a kitchen, while she made all of our daughter's clothes.
My job was very stressful and drove me to extremes as a perpetual change agent in high tech. My ex kept a clean house, but she was never a partner. We never argued because we never communicated. Eventually, the combined pressure of work and marriage led to scary neurological symptoms that made fundamental change inevitable. I tried my best to prepare my daughter for our looming divorce.
Eventually, her mother and I separated and she removed to her home in a distant state. I didn't oppose her leaving from where we lived because she had many relatives, and I had none. It was more important to me that my daughter grow up surrounded by family, even if it didn't include me. It felt like a Solomonic decision, one that required my right arm to be severed at the shoulder.
For awhile, as my ex bounced between relationships, I had all the access I could handle. For ten years, my every vacation hour was devoted to my daughter's visits. Our happiest moments were sailing to visit friends from her early youth. But eventually my ex's father found a husband for his daughter, and my access to my daughter began to evaporate. [One summer, she was unable to visit because it would interfere with her German lessons -- she learned to count to ten.] I called my daughter at least once a week for nearly 14 years --never missed a week. She was rarely available to talk during her mid to late teens, and attempts to establish specific times were useless. My pleas for information about my daughter and of what was happening in her life went unheeded. Calls never returned. Eventually, I resigned myself to the notion that she was spending her time engaged in teenage social life, and lived with the faith that time would bring her back.
When she finished HS, I flew to see her graduate. During a small family celebration, my ex's father contemptuously tossed an envelope of clippings that described her achievements, as he contemptuously added: 'Here's what you'd have learned about your daughter if you cared for her!' It is difficult to describe the self restraint that I had to impose on myself at that moment. Here was a man who confessed to his son-in-law how he had malingered to avoid being sent to the South Pacific during WW2. A man whose wife spent her days chain-smoking in a broken-down recliner while watching soap operas in a house filthy enough to induce frequent bouts of 'stomach flu'. Two of his three daughters were pregnant in their mid teens and abandoned, and I married his third daughter while in the service.
Divorce hits like a whack on the head. The woman who had been too listless to accompany her husband and young daughter for walks, began to involve herself in vigorous exercise and white water rafting. After she remarried, I found myself gradually estranged from my daughter. According to my daughter's husband, her recollection of our time together during our summers of sailing are far different from mine -- and far different from the hundreds of happy photos I took during those summers. I have read enough history and biography to know that men do usually get the short end of the stick in a divorce when it comes to kids. I thoroughly dislike the outcome, but if it is best for my daughter, I accept it. I do love her, and I am proud of her. I hope she continues to be successful, and maybe she will some day take time out to have children of her own and understand.
In response to Betty. Yes, there's dead beat dads and there's also bad moms, however there's no reason why any parent should be kept from their child unless there is a threat to the childs well being. I don't condone the message to his daughter and just because theres no tape of his wife, does not mean she has never yelled at her chiuld. So keep your one sided, jaded, scorned woman views to yourself. Its as simple as that.
As a woman, I've seen kids kept away from their father and understand Alec's position. I don't agree with the message - but I understand how it happened.
It's interesting that most women 'don't understand' it because they cause it. It's time that father's DEMAND certain things from the court as far as equal rights as well as RECEIPTS for items purchased for their children for 'child support.'
It's good to see Alec pursuing this further instead of just trying to sweep it under the rug! Good for him! I would suggest that people who don't believe this stuff happens or who feel that women in divorce are inherently perfect and without blame should take a visit to www.glennsacks.com and read some of the articles there. There are two (or more) sides to every story, and unfortunately it has become fashionable to blame men for all of the world's ills (especially in divorce). There are those of us - men and women - who are sick of it, and I'm happy to see Alec speaking out because it is high time that men and women work towards true equality and mutual empowerment - not some perverted sense of 'justice.'
Other good sites are www.nas.com/c4m/ and news.mensactivism.org and www.hisside.com -take a look.
Yet another spolied Hollywood actor used to having his way. Cry me a river. It's too bad his daughter has to suffer. Now the daughter will end up in therapy and divorced twice by the time she is 30 (then comes the drugs, rehab, and a book!). I can see it now... Or, both parents can actually do what is right for child.
The kid leaked the vm. She did this in order to (1) keep dad from contacting her for a while, (2) make sure mom didn't get into legal trouble and (3) let the world know what a jerk he is. Smart girl who was probably tired of a verbally abusive father.
I hope SHE writes a book...
Can't wait for your book. I've got 16 years of the same stuff. With single mothers the children become the weapon. I don't think there is any study that says mothers are better parents.
All this things happen because we-(husbond and wife)-turned away from God, our Creator.
He set rules for a happy marriage. If we chose our rules, our sin will catch us, sooner or lather.
If you (doesn't matter which one: husband or wife) are following God's principals in marriage, do not
be disturbed. He will take care of you. Just pray and wait for His answer.
For both: repent and learn how to leave by God's word. If you do so, everything is going to change for
better. This life is so short. Leave according to God's will, and you are going to find happiness in this life,
and next one. Love one another. Love means to suffer sometime. Don't be afraid! This kind of suffering
brings you peace and joy.
It is a fact that more WOMEN owe child support monies than men do. Baldwin was stupid but he's human. Parental Alienation is real. Kim Basinger has been held in contempt of court TWELVE TIMES for denying him visitation. No one seems to mention THAT.
Please refrain from bringing up single mothers in the country. Racism, crime and discrimination are all horrible too. NONE OF THEM has anything to do with the situation. Trying to attach Bassinger to a true dilemma in this country (single mom's), trying to victimize her by proxy...is.... whiny and stems from a desire to self handicap a gender. Stop making excuses for her poor behavior, they both showed themselves to be trash and just because you and one or the other have gender in common doesn't makeeither less a fool.
A book is probably needed about the injustices that fathers go through during a divorce. I have been there and eventually won my custody case. It really is too bad that nobody heres about the deadbeat moms. HOWEVER, I do not think that Mr. Baldwin is the right person to write the book. A responsible parent needs to exhibit a lot more personal restraint than either Mr. Baldwin or Ms. Bassinger have exhibited.
My husband and I were robbed every month through paying child support to a remarried, non-working ex-wife (their household income was double ours!). She had inherited $300,000 and lived in an exclusive neighborhood while I worked my butt off to help my husband pay child support (25% of his net take-home pay). To add insult to injury, we couldn't even claim the child as a dependent. Happily, we managed to keep civil and my husband's son is successful and just got married. 'Family law' should really be called 'anti-family law,' because it does favor the mother over the father, and looks at the father as a wallet and nothing more. I know plenty of deadbeat moms, but you never hear about them!
The sterotype of the 'Deadbeat Dad' has been force fed to us by women's rights groups for decades.
Without reading the names of the posters here you can almost guess with 99% certainty if the poster is a man or women.
All cases are different in custodial disputes and it is true that often times the needs of the child are secondary to those of the parents.
With an open mind and with the needs of the child first we should continue to change the system for the better for fathers who want to be involved in their children's lives.
I'm so much looking forward to read it.
His daughter probably is a thoughtless little pig.
What I see here is the ability of both the mother and father to not communicate with each other fairly and using the child as a pawn. I think that Kim and Alex both need to grow the hell up and set a good example for their child.
This poor kid has to take the brunt of their hatred for each other and she is getting used like an emotional trash bin.
Lets see mother is selfish, father is selfish, who is paying the ultimate price the child or children.
People in the US have a huge problem with excepting personal responsibilities and it is always someone else fault or groups fault, but never their own.
There are a lot of sad stories out there from both mothers and fathers, but I still feel that the child is the most important thing here, and until these parents get this right, there is going to be suffering. The hate some people continue to exhibit toward each other is incredible, and it will ALWAYS come back to haunt them in one way or another. A divorced parent just has to continue to try to communicate with the child, and get across how important they are. It's also extremely sad that family members get involved in taking sides and further complicating the issue between the parents. We all know there are a lot of good people out there who will try their best to make a bad situation better, but we also know that there our people who will NEVER be willing to take the high road, and nothing will change that. It is only hoped that the children caught up in this situation will finally realize the real truth when they grow up. We have got to think about the children who are our future.
As a deadbeat father, I support Alex Baldwin's frustration with the court system that allows his relationship with his daughter to melt away while he suffers.
I will not support a system that does not allow me to see my children in an equitable manner. No taxes will be paid, no child support will be paid. Jail before financial servitude. Cultural gender bias and inequality can not be tolerated.
Don't let the media circus decide for you which way to stand here.
One of the biggest problems with being 'famous' is that your true opinion or side of the story rarely breaches the surface of the sea of public opinion.
The media constantly pits one American or citizen against another in a feud of ego. The media gives us reasons to argue and discuss things and we keep on biting.
When is the majority going to stop this merry-go-round and stop buying the bullshit?
There's a war going on, and people are worried about what happens with this man and his child. Each family is unique and the media could never release enough about a person for the public to properly judge them.
Trial by Neilsen ratings?
Actors and entertainers have a unique responsibility imposed upon them by the pressures of being as good a person as they are an actor.
The truth is in most cases that it's difficult to have privacy.
Why I ask, because someone is talented, creative, intelligent, and in the public eye, do we have to hold them to some type of extraneous moral standard?
I'd be willing to wager that a lot of those that are hyper-critical of the 'stars' when ever the chance presents itself, have a lot to hide themselves. If not, maybe they fear that they do.
One article after another, opinions seem to become ammunition for sidearms at a shootout for the blind.
First of all, as interesting as it is, what shocks me about this issue is that people genuinely feel that this is all any of the public's business. Those of us from 'succesful' familes that stayed together and we're generally healthy...think about all the messed up things your Dad and Mom did. People are human. From what it LOOKS like from the outside, it seems Alec finally had it after dealing with this crappy situation. And there's never been any allegation of non-payment on his part, so the deadbeat dad rappers, you can shut yer faces.
'It's interesting that most women 'don't understand' it because they cause it. It's time that father's DEMAND certain things from the court as far as equal rights as well as RECEIPTS for items purchased for their children for 'child support.'
Yeah, remember that one next time you quit a job and your current wife supports you, so you can weasle out of paying ANY support to your children. There are 2 sides to the coin. Most women who have custody spend 100 percent of their income, often as much as 35 percent less than what a male makes, to support their children, where as the man pays around 17-25 percent, if the courts can squeeze it out of him. You don't think the kids are hurt in all of this as the male defers any request for anything as 'ask your mom, that's what child support is for.'
I am very happy he is taking this stance, it's about time someone who had a voice that can be heard take up this cause. I will b purchasing his book.
I doubt Alec Baldwin is capable of writing a book...maybe he can get Don Imus to ghost write.
I feel you.
So Alec gets to abuse his child, make money from a book, and have people feel sorry for him?!?!? What is wrong with this picture? For all we know, he pulled this stunt to get publicity for his book. Go drown yourself in the toilet, Alec!
I can't think of a reason why this guy should appologize foy ANYTHING! He gave his daughter a blast, big deal! The kid probably deserved it and a lot more.The real question and pathetic one is,why is his X airing that conversation publicly? This' body by fisher, brains by matel' is using her daughter in a malicious manor.I really feel bad for this guy, he shoud write a book about a ongoing injustice in America,'fathers rites'. Looks like balzinger has hired a bodyguard. For her daughter? Pathetic! Just goes to show you what a goof this brawd is! I hope balzinger gets roasted in her own stew.
i was also married to a man quite like alec. He always has excuses for his actions; never taking responsibility for his own doing. It is a shame if hes being alienated from his family, but maybe its because of his behavior. No matter what he had absolutly no right to say any of those things to his daughter no matter what his reasons may be...Thats what i call being an adult, one that can take the punches and not punch back. Alec has to look himself in the mirror and change who he is before anyone else is gonna give him what he wants.
Grow up Alec. Be a good dad and maybe you wont have this happen to you anymore. Till then stop blaming everyone else for your own actions. Get some help.
Alex,
Man we go through don't we? I don't know all the particulars about their relationship, but hopefully the mother will begin to see the damage in human terms which should override whatever her personal agenda is. In other words if she was observing a friend who was in the same situation she would begin to notice the pain in the child first and foremost......she might even persuade herself into discussing the situation with her friend. Ladies you talk to each other all the time, why not talk about something with substance and without fear...I believe fear is the chief motivator in these situations....but these fears are unsubstatiated. So please both parties have to know that the child is the only real victim here, so wheather you agree with the mother or dad is not relavant; what is most relavant is the SELF-ESTEEM of the child. Children are unfortunately manipulated so I say if parents cannot live up to the standards set by the court then (supposedly what is in the best interest of the child) then they need jail time...think about what started this in the first place....she would not answer the phone (child) but did the mother encourage her to answer her father's call......
The brat just needs a good beating and so does the ex.
Oh Poor Alec Baldwin, I feel so sorry for this arrogant prick. He's the real 'rude little pig'. No wonder his wife divorced him!
Hell, yeah Baldwin my boy, us He-men gotta stick together. Ever since we taught them women how to read and write, it's all been downhill! Give 'em hell!!
They both are getting just what they deserve. The poor kid.
Parental alienation to a degree is endemic to divorce as the basic mother firmly believes she is the true caregiver, esp. regarding a daughter, and believes that the father cannot be fully trusted. This shows through whether intended or not. When the father bloss his stack he just digs the hole deeper and reinforces the mother's beliefa. Nothing new here. Listen to Cosbie's old routine regarding dad's day out with the kid. The mother is quite concerned.
Alec should continue his acting and not get totally involved in this issue.
Otherwise, it will become even more of an obsession. Enjoy the life and the money. Any kid would be proud to have him as a father, regardless.
In the first place, it had to be Ms. Basinger who gave the tape to the press. Who else? She struck another blow against Baldwin in their rediculous custody battle. Anything to make him look bad. That said, it was a violation of both his and his daughters rights of privacy, and that should be the first concern here, not that he lost his temper.
If Alec Baldwin is a bad father, then Kim Basinger is a crappy mother. She's the one who just used her daughter to get back at the childs father. What kind of person does that?
For having their privacy violated, both Mr. Baldwin and his daughter are the victims here. For getting verbal abuse from her father, being used and God knows what else by her mother, and for suffering the brunt of an obviously hostile and emotional divorce by her parents, the daughter is the biggest victim. The only non-victim I can perceive is Kim Basinger. She's just having a ball dumping all over her ex-husband.
If these two had not had a child, Kim Basinger would likely be finding other nasty things to do.
Everyone is so busy spewing out their hatred toward one or the other, and are totally forgetting who is really suffering here - namely the child. With the comments made here, no wonder marriages are so screwed up, and these children are going on to be screwed up even more since they don't have a decent role model. It seems like it's so much more important for each party to spend their time seeing how much they can knock the other with their words and actions - oh, is a child involved??? Something they certainly forget! It would also appear that marriage might be something to avoid - it definitely brings out the worst in people!!
While its been mentioned in the comments that none of us really know all the facts in this case, it is a bit disturbing to read.
first of all, the press and the fact that Mr. Balwin and Ms. Bassinger are celebs, is the only reason we even hear about this case, otherwise it would be just another John Doe vs. Jane Doe in Some County in Some City, USA and we would't know a thing about it, unless it we were personally involved.
Now the next thing I would like to point out is that I do not necessarily care for either Mr. Baldwin or Ms. Bassinger, and do not support either one of them.
What should really disturb people about this, is that the child is just a pawn. Mr. Baldwin fighting for 'visitation' (visitation- is that what parenting is?) and Ms. Bassinger fighting to keep him from it. Did Mr. Baldwing father this child? If yes, why should it be a question of whether or not he gets to see his child? He's the father, why should there be a debate/court case on whether or not he should be able to engage in the upbringing of this child?
Did he act inappropriately, and yell hurtful things? Yes, he did. Is he human? Yes, and humans make mistakes. Does that mean he should never see his child again? Say Yes to that, and you and every other parent should be removed from their children immediately. Why? Because parents are human too, and neither I nor have you EVER met a perfect parent. Claim you are one, and someone will find something that you have done or are doing that removes the perfect parent status from you that you have in your mind.
Are there cases where parents should not be allowed to see their children ever? Yes, there are LEGITIMATE allegations of abuse. Unfortunately, in a divorce, the percentage is increased. Why? Because there is no more effective way to ensure child custody, then to hint that the other parent is abusive. Estimates of False Allegations of Abuse in divorce cases is estimated at around 80 percent.
Does Mr. Baldwin qualify for permanent erasure from his daughters life? Not with what we have heard so far.
I have been down the road that Mr. Baldwin is currently traveling. Do I feel sorry for him, no, not really, I feel sorry for their daughter who has to live thru this. Thanks to the release of that tape, she will never be able to put it in the past knowing that everyone in the world has had privelage to that information.
Unfortunately, it is the child that suffers and will always have this to live with. This is her parents, her blood, her creators that are fighting over her.
Kim's own mother promotes Alec as a good father. That doesnt make it in stone, but should tell you that she has not jumped on the man hating bandwagon to abolish the childs father from her grandaughters life. What gives you the right to EVER think about doing that? Do you not have any common sense, no compassion for a child? What gives you the right to take that childs childhood away from him/her? Is this how you were raised? Did you enjoy that, or do you think that everyone should have to grow up like that? Think about the child. Period. Quit thinking about your own personal gain, your quest to make sure the other person lives thru a living hell, to make sure that you prove that you are the winner, the superior one, the 'perfect' parent, because when it comes down to it, you really lost....no matter how many things you win in court with that frame of mind, you lost.. You lost it for your child, you made her the real loser of the draw. You lost all respect from anyone that has morals and compassion for our children. Those children that will grow up some day with either a peaceful memory of childhood, or that one of hate and discontent, and carry on that which was learned perspectively.
Alec has apologized, whether it was sincere or not, it was at least an attempt to do the right thing, along with the humility of doing so.
Kim, has taken up guard, hiring body gaurds to protect her child from this 'dangerous' threat to her daughter, because she's not sure what he might do. Another perfect and classic example of the 'victim' that she is. Grow up and stop thinking of yourself. That little move is so much of a textbook example of a custody battle that you are trying to sway. Get some counseling, both of you, WITH your child and the childs REAL better interests in mind. Not your own motives. Two parents, no other way. No more bashing the other parent in the childs presence. Do you not understand the emotional abuse you are dishing out to your child with that? That in itself is more abuse than some ranting phone call that has sparked this. You will never apologize to your child for that abuse, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even going there.
Wake up America, why do you think the youth of this country is so messed up? Take a look up the percentage of juveniles delinquents that have only one parent or have been thru a troubled seperation/divorce.
And last but not least, you will be held accountable by your children when they become adults and start making their own decisions and observations based on how you and your ex spouse acted during a divorce. You have known people or friends or children that have grown up and have turned completely against the parent that alienated the other.
Don't just think about it... Do something about it now... You'll be looked up to later, not looked at with disgust later.
Book- Well said. It is interesting to note that while many believe that the father 'can't be trusted', the incidence of mother-as-perpetrator infanticide is much higher then father-as-perpetrator. Women get a pass for killing/maiming their kids though since now they even have a syndrome to blame it on. There is significant evidence that suggests that generally mothers are actually the more dangerous parent, but that is quickly swept under the rug by anyone and everyone in the media.
references noted at glennsacks.com
'A Dad' - very well said throughout!
NO ONE wants to give up their constant bashing of each other, name calling, etc. It's as simple as that!!! Someone mentioned that marriage brings out the worst in people - let's add having children and treating them as possessions!
Yea, I applaud Alecs move to write about this crap. I went through a hellish custody battle that demanded that I pay money to the kids mother while she took every step possible to obstruct, interfere with and otherwise harm my relationship with my son. I had to pay the money, and when she wouldn't do what she was supposed to, I had to pay to take her to court. Then I had to pay for her counselors and other bs, then I had to pay for the childs counselors and bs, and then I had to pay for more court action. All the while I was just trying to spend a few days a week with the child whose life and future I was paying for.
A child whose mother lied to me when she told me she was taking birth control.
And it happened at least a half-dozen times that I had to go through that miserable cycle.
And you know, it is probably the most common kind of situation out there. People point a finger a 'dead beat dads' but who is talking about obstructive and abusive moms? It is like females are just automatically considered saintly because they are mothers... its ridiculous. Women are treated like blessed Madonnas when they are pregnant and have kids and nobody actually looks at her and decides if she is worth that level of adoration. And it continues right into the court room. Over and over again I have seen men held accountable for things while females are given broad leeway and understanding for the same kinds of abuses and worse....
It was a shitty childhood for my kid, and I will never get involved with another child and never, ever consider parenting one in partnership with a female. Never. Either I have full control or I won't do it.
Of course, I won't trust a female as far as I can throw her. Hasn't helped my love life much but there is not alot of unwanted drama and abuse going on either.... I am a good guy but I am not a stupid one. There is no protection for me if I do. Automatically I go to jail if there is an assault, even if she is the attacker, automatically I am a bad father if she keeps me from visiting my kid and tells the court that. No burden of proof, no true consideration of the facts. Just the fact that she is a female with children is enough to smear me.... All she has to do is claim that and I don't get to see my kids for months and longer. I won't get involved with another female until the courts start treating parents equally.
Maybe Alec's book can help...
I don't blame Alec one little bit. I do blame Kim for releasing that tape which is a criminal act and I hope she is held accountable for it. I am certain that there are very few parents out there who haven't come down hard on their kids and would not want that put out to the world as some kind of example of what kind of ogre they are.
I am all for women's rights and equality. Lets start calling them the crappy, user parents that they often can be. Lets call them the manipulative, lying, self-serving undisciplined losers that they really can be. They can be liars and impregnate themselves simply to abuse or control their partner and then hold him accountable for their dishonesty...and they do it far more often than they admit. They can skip their pills, they can break their promises and they can ruin a man's life and they do it all the time. It was done to me. The courts offer no solution in this event. Women are dishonest and corrupt, too. You can sleep with them, but you can't trust them.
And the 'blame' game goes on and on. There are two sides to every story, and granted, they aren't always equal, but don't lump every woman together anymore than you should lump every man together. Maybe some people need to look at their judgement on why they married - hooked up - with that particular person in the first place. Sometimes these decisions aren't made with any more thought than which drink to order - think about it!
A book I probably would not read but I have entertained the idea myself of lobbying for some sort of help for dad's who get caught in the trap of having unstable ex-wives who throw themselves on the mercy of the court and then use their kids as pawns in getting back at the ex. The only silver lining that I have ever seen in this picture is that over time the kid(s) eventually see right through the smoke screen and come to have relationships with the dads if in fact they were true parents when in the home and they see the true color of the other parent which is unfortunate.
Having been through this I do believe there is a bias in the court system against good dads because of the overwhelming cry of 'the single mother' regardless of the reason the marriage has failed. I don't know about Alex and Kim's specific situation but just the mention of his intentions has gotten me thinking again....which I believe is his intent right?
I just thought I'd throw in my two cents. What Alec said was wrong and he should evaluate his reaction and learn a lesson for future instances of this. I can't vouch that he is a good or bad father or what took place between him and Kim on their divorce. But there certainly is a media and social bias against fathers which is terribly unfair.
I was not an abusive husband. I didn't drink. We didn't argue much. I wasn't controlling. In fact, shortly before my wife left me, we won a Valentine's day contest by knowing more about each other than other couples who had been married 3 or more times as long as we had.
Nonetheless, she told me that she loved me but wasn't IN love with me anymore. She said she felt she got married too early and didn't get a chance to be single and party enough. Then, one-sidedly, she started dating other people, etc... At one point, she left for a week (our son wasn't yet 1 year old) to visit a new lover she had met over the Internet. (I will admit, I didn't properly exercise my boundaries at that time.)
So, when I finally started putting my foot down and telling her that I thought her behavior was unacceptable, she moved out and took our son with her. Then, when I would go to visit him, she would argue with me the whole time. When I insisted if she was going to continue this behavior, I would have to visit our son alone, she started keeping him from me. Then, she filed for divorce.
At first, the papers were filed so that we both had joint custody. Then, at the last possible minute, she changed the paperwork to fight for full custody, only allowing me supervised visitation. I am sure your gut reaction to this must be, 'There HAD to be something you were doing to make her fight in this manner. You MUST have been abusive or SOMETHING.' The real truth, though, is no. I believe she is very mentally unstable, and this is how she controls things in her live... by making herself into a 'victim'. Everyone believes her lies and rushes to her aid, and she continues this as if it's just 'the way of life.'
Over two years in mediation I fought for custody and all I could manage was 25% time because, at such a young age, the court believes in one of the parents having more than the other (to create a more stable 'home' environment.) And, since he was spending more time with her (because she was keeping him from me,) the mediator felt it was in his best interest to stay with her 75% of the time. At LEAST I got 25%, which is better than the 0% she was originally allowing.
But now, she still constantly uses him as a pawn. She recently suddenly decided to leave town for a week. She dropped him off at daycare, left, then told the school I would be picking him up. She then called me to tell me she will be gone for a week, then hung up and would not answer her phone. So, I have been watching him for the past week waiting for her to return. Again, I have no problem spending as much time as possible with my son, but what she is doing is very unstable for him. He has abandonment issues due to the fact that she leaves for such long periods of time, on top of the period of time she has kept him from me.
And, yet, due to the media and social bias, the only thing I ever 'hear' is that it is fathers who abandon their sons. And that the custodial parent is clearly doing what is in the child's best interest, and the rest of the world must fight to make sure the non-custodial parent (read:'dead-beat dad') stays active in the child's life. This is a terribly unfair view the world has attained, though I do not totally disagree with it. I can perfectly agree that perhaps STATISTICALLY, more often than not, there are more dead-beat dads who abandon their responsibilities than there are mom's that do this. But just because this is the case STATISTICALLY, it does not mean EVERY non-custodial dad is a 'dead-beat' and quite possible is a victim of an over-controlling mother who is using the child as a pawn to get her own way in her life-long temper tantrum. Please be open minded to the other possibilities that exist in the world before you jump to judgement. Thank you.
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