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Apr 29, 2007, 1:58 GMT
Alec Baldwin plans book on injustices to divorced dads
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Older Talkback
I doubt Alec Baldwin is capable of writing a book...maybe he can get Don Imus to ghost write.
I feel you.
So Alec gets to abuse his child, make money from a book, and have people feel sorry for him?!?!? What is wrong with this picture? For all we know, he pulled this stunt to get publicity for his book. Go drown yourself in the toilet, Alec!
I can't think of a reason why this guy should appologize foy ANYTHING! He gave his daughter a blast, big deal! The kid probably deserved it and a lot more.The real question and pathetic one is,why is his X airing that conversation publicly? This' body by fisher, brains by matel' is using her daughter in a malicious manor.I really feel bad for this guy, he shoud write a book about a ongoing injustice in America,'fathers rites'. Looks like balzinger has hired a bodyguard. For her daughter? Pathetic! Just goes to show you what a goof this brawd is! I hope balzinger gets roasted in her own stew.
i was also married to a man quite like alec. He always has excuses for his actions; never taking responsibility for his own doing. It is a shame if hes being alienated from his family, but maybe its because of his behavior. No matter what he had absolutly no right to say any of those things to his daughter no matter what his reasons may be...Thats what i call being an adult, one that can take the punches and not punch back. Alec has to look himself in the mirror and change who he is before anyone else is gonna give him what he wants.
Grow up Alec. Be a good dad and maybe you wont have this happen to you anymore. Till then stop blaming everyone else for your own actions. Get some help.
Alex,
Man we go through don't we? I don't know all the particulars about their relationship, but hopefully the mother will begin to see the damage in human terms which should override whatever her personal agenda is. In other words if she was observing a friend who was in the same situation she would begin to notice the pain in the child first and foremost......she might even persuade herself into discussing the situation with her friend. Ladies you talk to each other all the time, why not talk about something with substance and without fear...I believe fear is the chief motivator in these situations....but these fears are unsubstatiated. So please both parties have to know that the child is the only real victim here, so wheather you agree with the mother or dad is not relavant; what is most relavant is the SELF-ESTEEM of the child. Children are unfortunately manipulated so I say if parents cannot live up to the standards set by the court then (supposedly what is in the best interest of the child) then they need jail time...think about what started this in the first place....she would not answer the phone (child) but did the mother encourage her to answer her father's call......
The brat just needs a good beating and so does the ex.
Oh Poor Alec Baldwin, I feel so sorry for this arrogant prick. He's the real 'rude little pig'. No wonder his wife divorced him!
Hell, yeah Baldwin my boy, us He-men gotta stick together. Ever since we taught them women how to read and write, it's all been downhill! Give 'em hell!!
They both are getting just what they deserve. The poor kid.
Parental alienation to a degree is endemic to divorce as the basic mother firmly believes she is the true caregiver, esp. regarding a daughter, and believes that the father cannot be fully trusted. This shows through whether intended or not. When the father bloss his stack he just digs the hole deeper and reinforces the mother's beliefa. Nothing new here. Listen to Cosbie's old routine regarding dad's day out with the kid. The mother is quite concerned.
Alec should continue his acting and not get totally involved in this issue.
Otherwise, it will become even more of an obsession. Enjoy the life and the money. Any kid would be proud to have him as a father, regardless.
In the first place, it had to be Ms. Basinger who gave the tape to the press. Who else? She struck another blow against Baldwin in their rediculous custody battle. Anything to make him look bad. That said, it was a violation of both his and his daughters rights of privacy, and that should be the first concern here, not that he lost his temper.
If Alec Baldwin is a bad father, then Kim Basinger is a crappy mother. She's the one who just used her daughter to get back at the childs father. What kind of person does that?
For having their privacy violated, both Mr. Baldwin and his daughter are the victims here. For getting verbal abuse from her father, being used and God knows what else by her mother, and for suffering the brunt of an obviously hostile and emotional divorce by her parents, the daughter is the biggest victim. The only non-victim I can perceive is Kim Basinger. She's just having a ball dumping all over her ex-husband.
If these two had not had a child, Kim Basinger would likely be finding other nasty things to do.
Everyone is so busy spewing out their hatred toward one or the other, and are totally forgetting who is really suffering here - namely the child. With the comments made here, no wonder marriages are so screwed up, and these children are going on to be screwed up even more since they don't have a decent role model. It seems like it's so much more important for each party to spend their time seeing how much they can knock the other with their words and actions - oh, is a child involved??? Something they certainly forget! It would also appear that marriage might be something to avoid - it definitely brings out the worst in people!!
While its been mentioned in the comments that none of us really know all the facts in this case, it is a bit disturbing to read.
first of all, the press and the fact that Mr. Balwin and Ms. Bassinger are celebs, is the only reason we even hear about this case, otherwise it would be just another John Doe vs. Jane Doe in Some County in Some City, USA and we would't know a thing about it, unless it we were personally involved.
Now the next thing I would like to point out is that I do not necessarily care for either Mr. Baldwin or Ms. Bassinger, and do not support either one of them.
What should really disturb people about this, is that the child is just a pawn. Mr. Baldwin fighting for 'visitation' (visitation- is that what parenting is?) and Ms. Bassinger fighting to keep him from it. Did Mr. Baldwing father this child? If yes, why should it be a question of whether or not he gets to see his child? He's the father, why should there be a debate/court case on whether or not he should be able to engage in the upbringing of this child?
Did he act inappropriately, and yell hurtful things? Yes, he did. Is he human? Yes, and humans make mistakes. Does that mean he should never see his child again? Say Yes to that, and you and every other parent should be removed from their children immediately. Why? Because parents are human too, and neither I nor have you EVER met a perfect parent. Claim you are one, and someone will find something that you have done or are doing that removes the perfect parent status from you that you have in your mind.
Are there cases where parents should not be allowed to see their children ever? Yes, there are LEGITIMATE allegations of abuse. Unfortunately, in a divorce, the percentage is increased. Why? Because there is no more effective way to ensure child custody, then to hint that the other parent is abusive. Estimates of False Allegations of Abuse in divorce cases is estimated at around 80 percent.
Does Mr. Baldwin qualify for permanent erasure from his daughters life? Not with what we have heard so far.
I have been down the road that Mr. Baldwin is currently traveling. Do I feel sorry for him, no, not really, I feel sorry for their daughter who has to live thru this. Thanks to the release of that tape, she will never be able to put it in the past knowing that everyone in the world has had privelage to that information.
Unfortunately, it is the child that suffers and will always have this to live with. This is her parents, her blood, her creators that are fighting over her.
Kim's own mother promotes Alec as a good father. That doesnt make it in stone, but should tell you that she has not jumped on the man hating bandwagon to abolish the childs father from her grandaughters life. What gives you the right to EVER think about doing that? Do you not have any common sense, no compassion for a child? What gives you the right to take that childs childhood away from him/her? Is this how you were raised? Did you enjoy that, or do you think that everyone should have to grow up like that? Think about the child. Period. Quit thinking about your own personal gain, your quest to make sure the other person lives thru a living hell, to make sure that you prove that you are the winner, the superior one, the 'perfect' parent, because when it comes down to it, you really lost....no matter how many things you win in court with that frame of mind, you lost.. You lost it for your child, you made her the real loser of the draw. You lost all respect from anyone that has morals and compassion for our children. Those children that will grow up some day with either a peaceful memory of childhood, or that one of hate and discontent, and carry on that which was learned perspectively.
Alec has apologized, whether it was sincere or not, it was at least an attempt to do the right thing, along with the humility of doing so.
Kim, has taken up guard, hiring body gaurds to protect her child from this 'dangerous' threat to her daughter, because she's not sure what he might do. Another perfect and classic example of the 'victim' that she is. Grow up and stop thinking of yourself. That little move is so much of a textbook example of a custody battle that you are trying to sway. Get some counseling, both of you, WITH your child and the childs REAL better interests in mind. Not your own motives. Two parents, no other way. No more bashing the other parent in the childs presence. Do you not understand the emotional abuse you are dishing out to your child with that? That in itself is more abuse than some ranting phone call that has sparked this. You will never apologize to your child for that abuse, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even going there.
Wake up America, why do you think the youth of this country is so messed up? Take a look up the percentage of juveniles delinquents that have only one parent or have been thru a troubled seperation/divorce.
And last but not least, you will be held accountable by your children when they become adults and start making their own decisions and observations based on how you and your ex spouse acted during a divorce. You have known people or friends or children that have grown up and have turned completely against the parent that alienated the other.
Don't just think about it... Do something about it now... You'll be looked up to later, not looked at with disgust later.
Book- Well said. It is interesting to note that while many believe that the father 'can't be trusted', the incidence of mother-as-perpetrator infanticide is much higher then father-as-perpetrator. Women get a pass for killing/maiming their kids though since now they even have a syndrome to blame it on. There is significant evidence that suggests that generally mothers are actually the more dangerous parent, but that is quickly swept under the rug by anyone and everyone in the media.
references noted at glennsacks.com
'A Dad' - very well said throughout!
NO ONE wants to give up their constant bashing of each other, name calling, etc. It's as simple as that!!! Someone mentioned that marriage brings out the worst in people - let's add having children and treating them as possessions!
Yea, I applaud Alecs move to write about this crap. I went through a hellish custody battle that demanded that I pay money to the kids mother while she took every step possible to obstruct, interfere with and otherwise harm my relationship with my son. I had to pay the money, and when she wouldn't do what she was supposed to, I had to pay to take her to court. Then I had to pay for her counselors and other bs, then I had to pay for the childs counselors and bs, and then I had to pay for more court action. All the while I was just trying to spend a few days a week with the child whose life and future I was paying for.
A child whose mother lied to me when she told me she was taking birth control.
And it happened at least a half-dozen times that I had to go through that miserable cycle.
And you know, it is probably the most common kind of situation out there. People point a finger a 'dead beat dads' but who is talking about obstructive and abusive moms? It is like females are just automatically considered saintly because they are mothers... its ridiculous. Women are treated like blessed Madonnas when they are pregnant and have kids and nobody actually looks at her and decides if she is worth that level of adoration. And it continues right into the court room. Over and over again I have seen men held accountable for things while females are given broad leeway and understanding for the same kinds of abuses and worse....
It was a shitty childhood for my kid, and I will never get involved with another child and never, ever consider parenting one in partnership with a female. Never. Either I have full control or I won't do it.
Of course, I won't trust a female as far as I can throw her. Hasn't helped my love life much but there is not alot of unwanted drama and abuse going on either.... I am a good guy but I am not a stupid one. There is no protection for me if I do. Automatically I go to jail if there is an assault, even if she is the attacker, automatically I am a bad father if she keeps me from visiting my kid and tells the court that. No burden of proof, no true consideration of the facts. Just the fact that she is a female with children is enough to smear me.... All she has to do is claim that and I don't get to see my kids for months and longer. I won't get involved with another female until the courts start treating parents equally.
Maybe Alec's book can help...
I don't blame Alec one little bit. I do blame Kim for releasing that tape which is a criminal act and I hope she is held accountable for it. I am certain that there are very few parents out there who haven't come down hard on their kids and would not want that put out to the world as some kind of example of what kind of ogre they are.
I am all for women's rights and equality. Lets start calling them the crappy, user parents that they often can be. Lets call them the manipulative, lying, self-serving undisciplined losers that they really can be. They can be liars and impregnate themselves simply to abuse or control their partner and then hold him accountable for their dishonesty...and they do it far more often than they admit. They can skip their pills, they can break their promises and they can ruin a man's life and they do it all the time. It was done to me. The courts offer no solution in this event. Women are dishonest and corrupt, too. You can sleep with them, but you can't trust them.
And the 'blame' game goes on and on. There are two sides to every story, and granted, they aren't always equal, but don't lump every woman together anymore than you should lump every man together. Maybe some people need to look at their judgement on why they married - hooked up - with that particular person in the first place. Sometimes these decisions aren't made with any more thought than which drink to order - think about it!
A book I probably would not read but I have entertained the idea myself of lobbying for some sort of help for dad's who get caught in the trap of having unstable ex-wives who throw themselves on the mercy of the court and then use their kids as pawns in getting back at the ex. The only silver lining that I have ever seen in this picture is that over time the kid(s) eventually see right through the smoke screen and come to have relationships with the dads if in fact they were true parents when in the home and they see the true color of the other parent which is unfortunate.
Having been through this I do believe there is a bias in the court system against good dads because of the overwhelming cry of 'the single mother' regardless of the reason the marriage has failed. I don't know about Alex and Kim's specific situation but just the mention of his intentions has gotten me thinking again....which I believe is his intent right?
I just thought I'd throw in my two cents. What Alec said was wrong and he should evaluate his reaction and learn a lesson for future instances of this. I can't vouch that he is a good or bad father or what took place between him and Kim on their divorce. But there certainly is a media and social bias against fathers which is terribly unfair.
I was not an abusive husband. I didn't drink. We didn't argue much. I wasn't controlling. In fact, shortly before my wife left me, we won a Valentine's day contest by knowing more about each other than other couples who had been married 3 or more times as long as we had.
Nonetheless, she told me that she loved me but wasn't IN love with me anymore. She said she felt she got married too early and didn't get a chance to be single and party enough. Then, one-sidedly, she started dating other people, etc... At one point, she left for a week (our son wasn't yet 1 year old) to visit a new lover she had met over the Internet. (I will admit, I didn't properly exercise my boundaries at that time.)
So, when I finally started putting my foot down and telling her that I thought her behavior was unacceptable, she moved out and took our son with her. Then, when I would go to visit him, she would argue with me the whole time. When I insisted if she was going to continue this behavior, I would have to visit our son alone, she started keeping him from me. Then, she filed for divorce.
At first, the papers were filed so that we both had joint custody. Then, at the last possible minute, she changed the paperwork to fight for full custody, only allowing me supervised visitation. I am sure your gut reaction to this must be, 'There HAD to be something you were doing to make her fight in this manner. You MUST have been abusive or SOMETHING.' The real truth, though, is no. I believe she is very mentally unstable, and this is how she controls things in her live... by making herself into a 'victim'. Everyone believes her lies and rushes to her aid, and she continues this as if it's just 'the way of life.'
Over two years in mediation I fought for custody and all I could manage was 25% time because, at such a young age, the court believes in one of the parents having more than the other (to create a more stable 'home' environment.) And, since he was spending more time with her (because she was keeping him from me,) the mediator felt it was in his best interest to stay with her 75% of the time. At LEAST I got 25%, which is better than the 0% she was originally allowing.
But now, she still constantly uses him as a pawn. She recently suddenly decided to leave town for a week. She dropped him off at daycare, left, then told the school I would be picking him up. She then called me to tell me she will be gone for a week, then hung up and would not answer her phone. So, I have been watching him for the past week waiting for her to return. Again, I have no problem spending as much time as possible with my son, but what she is doing is very unstable for him. He has abandonment issues due to the fact that she leaves for such long periods of time, on top of the period of time she has kept him from me.
And, yet, due to the media and social bias, the only thing I ever 'hear' is that it is fathers who abandon their sons. And that the custodial parent is clearly doing what is in the child's best interest, and the rest of the world must fight to make sure the non-custodial parent (read:'dead-beat dad') stays active in the child's life. This is a terribly unfair view the world has attained, though I do not totally disagree with it. I can perfectly agree that perhaps STATISTICALLY, more often than not, there are more dead-beat dads who abandon their responsibilities than there are mom's that do this. But just because this is the case STATISTICALLY, it does not mean EVERY non-custodial dad is a 'dead-beat' and quite possible is a victim of an over-controlling mother who is using the child as a pawn to get her own way in her life-long temper tantrum. Please be open minded to the other possibilities that exist in the world before you jump to judgement. Thank you.
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