People News
Apr 29, 2007, 1:58 GMT
Alec Baldwin plans book on injustices to divorced dads
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Older Talkback
Courts hold fathers accountable for every penny a fathere owes for child support. Fall behind for any reason and see what happens.
When will the system start holding mothers accountable for the spending of every penny on the child? Are fathers to believe that ALL the child support money paid, is spent for its intended purpose? Are fathers to believe that, SOME mothers do not dip into this money for their own personal use? Who knows? The courts have no regulations as they do on fathers, to monitor mothers spending. Why not?
A one sided system with too many loose ends, that allows mothers to spend child support money, without accountability.
Free counselling and full support of the legal system is available to mothers. Those same services should be available to men, but they are not.
An unfair system that gives fathers few rights and little to no equality. With mothers usually in complete control of the child support money, and the child.
Fathers are treated as piggybanks. When the money stops for health, loss of job, any reason, the man is taken to court and many times jailed.
And this is America!
chuck
Alec, *Newsflash* Men have been being abused by divorce courts for years.
Anyone who has watched this man over the last 20-30 years probably comes to one conclusion. When he speaks the words written for him by Tom Clancy or others, he is convincing and fools most. However, when he is running on internals, he isn't hooked up to much, and 'isn't worth spit,' as the old folk might have said, and fools no one.
Baldwin, is a loose cannon,plain and simple,his brothers are fruit cakes too when have you read anything positive about any of them...
Alex stressed-out and said something in the heat of the moment in which his wife is apparently exploiting to the hilt. Hiring a bodyguard smacks of pure grandstanding on her part. Man-hating (are there any other kind) feminists have taught conniving women and the courts to exhibit an unfair bias in the majority of USA court cases. And to give the old tired 'deadbeat dad' argument is deflecting criticism of the real problem. If men were given custody of children in the same ratios as women, you would likely see the same amount of 'deadbeat moms'. Instead, women have unfair rights in most cases, thanks to the efforts of irresponsible feminists. (Yes, I know those last two words are redundant.)
The sooner he decides and accepts to shut up and let time pass the sooner he will look better to the public. So many previous stars or public faces have successfully done this only method or option that he currently has.
He wont. I would put money on it that he shares a few more rude, crazy comments before he catches on or his agent finally beats it into his thick skull. Let's just hope he leaves his daughter out of his rantings in the future. What a messed up monster; to verbally abuse a child like that.
KIMO+
Ms Basinger...if Mr Baldwin is 'unstable and irrational' why did you have a child with him? We need to be a bit more choosy about the people we mate with. If Ms Basinger was not able to care for their child she would still be, as she puts it, putting their child in the custody of an 'unstable and irrational' person. A lesson for the rest of us. If you think that behavior started after they seperated or after the child was born- your way of thinking is irrational.
this divorce/custody has been going on for seven years...if that is what Ireland has heard for more than half her life, than it's no wonder why she doesn't answer the phone...
Parental Alienation is a theory, an opinion - discredited by the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges.
What Alec did was emotionally abuse a child. What child would want to visit a parent who treated him or her like that? Allowing runaway emotions to destroy the trust in the most important relationships in your life and then blaming your inability to control your actions on someone or something other than yourself is quite a stretch. Unfortunately all the blaming in the world will not repair the damage he inflicted on his relationship with his child.
Writing a book will possible make him feel much better. How will it make his child feel when she reads it?
For more information see the stop family violence web site.
Divorced dads all too often get a bum rap because they're automatically discriminated against in court. Automatically! Little by little this inequity is coming into the daylight. While we need more books exposing this, it's unfortunate that one would come from Alec Baldwin as he is not exactly a shining example of a good dad.
Noone ever thinks of the father, the world just goes for what the mothers want who cares if the father lives a normal life or not. Maybe if the mothers go thru what fathers do and live on a few dollars and try to make a life for them, maybe things would be different and there wont be deadbeats father. The courts should not take everything from a father. Just because he lost his temper doesnt mean he a bad father, there women out there that can do that but who cares that rigbht their women, maytbe women should walk a mile in a father shoes and see why their deadbeats out there,
If the courts were fair in their decisions, you wouldn't hear the media going on incessantly about 'deadbeat dads' and 'poor single moms'. One would have to be quite naive to think that if virutally all of the custodies were given to the fathers and child support to the mothers, that there wouldn't be just as many deadbeat moms.
One also must be naive to think that one, or even a handful of spiteful tongue-lashings and name-callings is going to destroy a lifetime of love between a child and a parent. Don't underestimate the power of self or the ability to understand in children, or the strength they gain from working through adversity... if they are allowed to love and be loved, just like any other relationship, the result of an angry outburst is not always the dreaded 'permanent loss of self esteem' or 'lifetime emotional scarring'.
What is likely more damaging to Ireland or any other child, is to have someone they love so harshly judged, those judgements made by complete strangers and spread with a viscious persistence by the media.
I know plenty of divorced couples with children. Whether the divorce was amicable or not, they cooperated for the benefit of their children. What I have observed (and most divorced men I know agree)that the men who cry PAS or 'father's rights' are men that had no interest in their children until their divorce. The only reason at all they wanted joint custody was to have some sort of control over their ex-wife. While I'm sure there are bad women out there, by no means are they in the majority. This is only a dilemma to the men that all of a sudden realize they aren't going to be in control of their wife anymore and when the split happens, they decide they want to play daddy. Case en pointe: Friend of mine - her husband leaves her for another woman. My friend makes more money than him so he doesn't want to pay child support so they go for joint custody. My friend was happy that he agreed to joint custody because the children would see more of thier father than they ever did during the marriage. After 7 months of having to take care of his kids, he decides that he would rather pay child support and be weekend daddy as it's much easier to hand over a pay check than to actually have to raise and care for his kids.
For those of you crying 'poor Alec', you obviously didn't do any research. For if you had, you would discover what an absolute jerk he is with a history of violent outbursts and nutty behavior.
Unless you have walked in his shoes, you probably do not know what you are talking about.
The mother could be vindictive OR protective. And to be fair, so could the father. There is even the remote, but possible scenario of the daughter being necessarily rebuked (whether correctly or not).
What parent, truly involved with their kids, doesn't have an exasperated moment? I am NOT defending the comment or name calling he has done. Those actions have their own poisonous influence upon a child and often do not have a positive impact on them. In fact it might even be a clue to his real character with her.... but it might not be also.
I AM a single father of five, with four at home. There ARE truths that can be embellished, taken out of context or twisted by parents to hurt the other. I have experienced them. To someone outside the
To the outside observer, which all of us are, it is possible the true nature of this will be understood only by the parents. Even the children can be 'used' by a bitter or dysfunctional parent. One or the other... or BOTH can successfully be portrayed as the 'bad guy' and it will be left to a (hopefully wise) court to decide the truth. It is sad that the child will be the one suffering most from those that were supposed to be a source of comfort and security.
Chuck, I have equal rights as 'mothers' in the 'system'. It has been required of me to go to MANY meetings where I was the only male in a room full of single mothers. I have been treated equally. I feel court has been more lenient to women than men tho. She has repeatedly been only in contempt of court, where I believe a man would have been in jail.
i agree that one should reserve their comments until all information is given. therefore, i don't feel that anyone should exploit their children nor the situation as a means of getting even. if mr balwin chooses to write this book as a tool to expose the injustices and prejustices that have plagued our family court system for years, then i'm all for it.
i was a child of divorced parents and my father (too) was a deadbeat. i am currently going through a divorce where my (so to be) ex-wife left me for a life of single-hood. i think that our family court system wrongly pentilizes the father, even when he is a great dad and was a good husband. don't get me wrong, i will continue to do everything i can for my children. i just don't believe that i should be forced to live out a life of financial challenges due to the selfishness of my childrens mother.
dads of this world, love your children.
I completely agree that no one knows all the intimate details of this couple's life together or apart. What you see isn't always what you get, and it makes no sense to pass judgement on either of them one way or the other. I personally think the person who made the tape public is pathetic, with no thought of the child whatsoever!!
He's a just another celebrity putz.
Off the nuclear issue, now after the court system and mama's.
Way to go.
Stop all support payments.
Justice for men, love the new slogan.
You got my support.
I have a daughter who I love. She is now in her mid 30's and a successful executive. Her mom grew up on a Midwestern farm and we hardly knew each other when we married. Unlike her, I had no family growing up and poured my energies into our daughter. I taught her to swim and dive at four, took her for long walks where I taught her to identify native plants and trees, we explored new construction sites and slid down dirt piles. We had glorious fun together. I was always trying to engage her mind. We'd dance to Tschovsky, solve problems together, and I saw to it that she had simple tasks and responsibilities that gave her pride -- beginning when she was two years old. I wanted her to have the best possible formative experience as preparation for the future. We'd often invite her mother to join our outings, but her preferance was to sit at home and watch TV.
Early on, her mother and I agreed that the best investment we could make was for her to be a full-time mom. She was. She stayed home and taught our daughter to bake and cook, to feel at home in a kitchen, while she made all of our daughter's clothes.
My job was very stressful and drove me to extremes as a perpetual change agent in high tech. My ex kept a clean house, but she was never a partner. We never argued because we never communicated. Eventually, the combined pressure of work and marriage led to scary neurological symptoms that made fundamental change inevitable. I tried my best to prepare my daughter for our looming divorce.
Eventually, her mother and I separated and she removed to her home in a distant state. I didn't oppose her leaving from where we lived because she had many relatives, and I had none. It was more important to me that my daughter grow up surrounded by family, even if it didn't include me. It felt like a Solomonic decision, one that required my right arm to be severed at the shoulder.
For awhile, as my ex bounced between relationships, I had all the access I could handle. For ten years, my every vacation hour was devoted to my daughter's visits. Our happiest moments were sailing to visit friends from her early youth. But eventually my ex's father found a husband for his daughter, and my access to my daughter began to evaporate. [One summer, she was unable to visit because it would interfere with her German lessons -- she learned to count to ten.] I called my daughter at least once a week for nearly 14 years --never missed a week. She was rarely available to talk during her mid to late teens, and attempts to establish specific times were useless. My pleas for information about my daughter and of what was happening in her life went unheeded. Calls never returned. Eventually, I resigned myself to the notion that she was spending her time engaged in teenage social life, and lived with the faith that time would bring her back.
When she finished HS, I flew to see her graduate. During a small family celebration, my ex's father contemptuously tossed an envelope of clippings that described her achievements, as he contemptuously added: 'Here's what you'd have learned about your daughter if you cared for her!' It is difficult to describe the self restraint that I had to impose on myself at that moment. Here was a man who confessed to his son-in-law how he had malingered to avoid being sent to the South Pacific during WW2. A man whose wife spent her days chain-smoking in a broken-down recliner while watching soap operas in a house filthy enough to induce frequent bouts of 'stomach flu'. Two of his three daughters were pregnant in their mid teens and abandoned, and I married his third daughter while in the service.
Divorce hits like a whack on the head. The woman who had been too listless to accompany her husband and young daughter for walks, began to involve herself in vigorous exercise and white water rafting. After she remarried, I found myself gradually estranged from my daughter. According to my daughter's husband, her recollection of our time together during our summers of sailing are far different from mine -- and far different from the hundreds of happy photos I took during those summers. I have read enough history and biography to know that men do usually get the short end of the stick in a divorce when it comes to kids. I thoroughly dislike the outcome, but if it is best for my daughter, I accept it. I do love her, and I am proud of her. I hope she continues to be successful, and maybe she will some day take time out to have children of her own and understand.
In response to Betty. Yes, there's dead beat dads and there's also bad moms, however there's no reason why any parent should be kept from their child unless there is a threat to the childs well being. I don't condone the message to his daughter and just because theres no tape of his wife, does not mean she has never yelled at her chiuld. So keep your one sided, jaded, scorned woman views to yourself. Its as simple as that.
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