People News
Apr 29, 2007, 1:58 GMT
Alec Baldwin plans book on injustices to divorced dads
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Older Talkback
I think it's humorous that he would attempt some sympathy for his plight in light of that horrendous message he left for his daughter. Some Dad's do get the short end of the stick but I'm beginning to think he makes his own drama! Instead of trying to plug an imaginary book that he hasn't even written yet...why not try apologizing publicly to his daughter and write a book about what not to do or say to your already hurting child.
Divorced dad here. the system looks
at men as a pocket and nothing more. kids need both parents involved
not just one. but the political base thinks that only the Xy set is deadbeat.
so until there is some sort of true equality.
men are exppected to continue paying support even after they prove they are not the father!
often collection becomes what can i get. how long can i get it and id like to take the child continue on with my life and to hades with his.
because society dictates that women are the nurturers. doesnt mean an unequal share of them are, as compared to men.
We divorced when the child was two. the child is now in her teens.
shes had a poorer life for it all, regardless of the MANS efforts to keep the ugliness away from her.
the whole situation , the laws need to be wrecked and rebuilt. without regard for sex.
best to all, the uninformed, and the voiceless.
Wonkus.
Dear Betty, Moms are statistically more likely to default on their child support payments. They are also more likely to be abusive. Awarding custody to moms by default is the injustice of our times.
His comments may have been inappropriate, but why should he have been barred from seeing his daughter? No parent deserves to be judged by their failings during a single moment. Should we hold a hearing every time a parent loses their temper?
Perhaps you have never heard of dads who rarely get to see their children despite having to work two jobs to support their ex wife in style?
There are alternatives of course. If a mother can't support her children financially, she could agree to joint custody for example. Then she would be under less burden to find the money to raise her children.
we should keep to ourselves, lives, and I dare say, even look inward - the stone doesn't get cast to far... We know nothing except for the stupid and thoughtless thing that was said.
So, with little to go on except for gossip - shut up and get on with your life and live it to the best of your abilities, oh and smile - it makes a difference.
I'm just commenting as yet another father suffering from PAS. Though I've been fighting for over four years now, my ex-wife continually uses access to our children as means to extort money from me, control me, and in general abuse me as much as possible.
You people who simply respond 'Just take her to court' have no idea what you're talking about. Courts, in addition to siding all-too-often with mothers, are also powerless the second you step outside of the courtroom.
Alec snapped, and understandably so. Any father in his position understands completely why he did what he did.
And, truth be told, I'll be his daughter is a snot. Look at how her mother acts toward her father - you can bet that she just emulates mommy, and knows she'll get away with it.
There is a LONG way to go, in terms of equality for fathers. Thus far, women want full control simply because they birthed the child, but then they also want to be able to make a man pay up. It's the whole 'have your cake, and eat it, too' garbage.
I am completely baffled by any support of this man by the public. Bottom line if he had said those awful things to his daughter in a public place, I am sure someone would have intervened. If you listen to the entire message, his rant was not about his ex-wife and/or what he claims she has been doing to him. It was all about him, about how he was feeling, about him making his child feel guilt and fear. He is nothing but a hypocrite and a bully.
Shortly after this incident his rep made a statement that said 'In the best interest of the child, Alec will do what the mother is pathologically incapable of doing...keeping his mouth shut and obeying the court order'. Which was follow up by discussing the matter on a TV interview with Larry King and The View.
Then his attorney was quoted as saying 'This court has sealed proceedings for Ireland's protection for years. Why would this recording be any different? I'm not even allowed to say whether the tape was played in court or not. They are breaking the confidentiality rules.' If that is the case than how does this man plan to 'devote myself to the cause of parental alienation,' and write a book based on 'his experiences as a divorced dad who has struggled with his ex-wife over custody issues'. I would think any book would also be 'breaking the rules'. It speaks volumes about a person when they can express so much hate in public eye towards someone they once pledged to spend the rest of their life with.
merbear, I'm completely baffled that people refuse to see the other side of this. The guy lost his temper...plain and simple. He said something that was no different then the billions of things said by other mothers/fathers around the world. The unfortunate thing is that he is a celeb so his dirty laundry is aired for all the world to see. What about your kids? Have you ever said anything in frustration you felt bad about afterwards? Aren't you glad that you don't have prying eyes looking into your business??
I'm also completely baffled that Rosie O’Donnell and I agree on something!
Hey Betty and anyone else that sides with that group, jump in the nearest lake and obfuscate. Your mindless dribble is what society would have you believe, but in reality, women know that they have the strong position in divorce proceedings and take advantage of it, before, during and after a divorce. Having just recently gone through a divorce, where my ex was on probation, was drunk nearly all the time and passing out in the house, including driving offenses of a severe nature, you would have thought that she would be the one that would need to fight for custody and so on. After all, I filed in order to keep her from driving drunk with the children, which she was doing and after the police would do nothing. The courts response? Temporary order to her, custody to her and I get to pay for everything and go through all sorts of flaming hoops just to prove I am not a 'bad man'. Well, I can tell you this, there couldn't be any more obvious a case where it is clearer that women get everything and men are considered bad at all turns. Disgusting, outrageous and after suffering all the indignities, I can say without a doubt, a complete and utter violation of my human rights. Yeah, I said human, cause it isn't about men or women. I was treated like an animal and I don't appreciate it in the least. I keep my payments up, I fought and was awarded majority custody, I got the house back and most of the belongings. But at what cost? And why did the children have to be put in harms way when the courts first order of business should have been to call in her probation and look seriously into the matter? Got me, but I can tell you it isn't isolated. I hear stories like this every day. And while I don't agree with some dads willingness not to pay support, I can certainly understand where they are coming from. You need to lighten up and get educated about the system before you spout off... I've had it with your ilk and you better get it straight.
Anyone posting here and siding with Bassinger who is NOT a man and has NOT had to deal with the inequities of 'Mommy' Court (family court), as well as deal with a flaming beahtch of an ex-wife like Bassinger, can shut the 'F' up!!!! The family court system in this country is so G'damned one-sided it's ridiculous. And on top of that, you have the dirt-bag lawyers educating the women on exactly what to do to ensure they get the kids, the house, the cash and anything else they can convince the judge they want, but don't deserve. Somehow when the marriage falls apart, even though the man was a great father to his kids before, somehow he's suddenly unfit to ever be around them again. The only thing worse than this angry vendetta women wage against their exes in a pathetic effort to divert attention away from their own shortcomings, is these moronic judges who allow it to happen.
If men were the primary custodians the majority of the time and, like women, used the children as weapons, you would hear the collective wailing and gnashing of teeth on the other side of the galaxy. You're a bunch of self-entitled, hypocritical, duplicitous bit-ches.
And save the whole, 'Well, if you talk like that you don't deserve to be around your children.' For starters, I don't talk like this around my children, and if you tell me you never say or do anything when you're not around your children that you wouldn't say or do when they're with you, you're a liar.
I know how devastating it can be when two people divorce. How one parent hardly ever gets to see their child and also how one parent refuses to do the right thing and does not let the non-custodial parent see the child. I think that if both parents wanted what is best for their child they both will work for a solution where it would be fair for both parents to see the child especially if the child is small. Why can't both parents work towards a common goal where they both get to see the child but always putting the child's need first. I belive that a solution can be found if both parents are willing to put their differences apart and focus on what is best for the child. It happened too many times with my ex. He had custody of our kids and it was hard enough for me to be a part of their lives but even harder when the custodial parent makes it even harder. Why can't people be mature. Be willing to always do what is right and only right when it concerns their child. I believe that the child needs both parents and to alienate the other would not be fair. I believe that we cheat our kids in this regard. Whether it be the Dad or the Mom who has custody of the child, why can't the one who has custody make it possible for the non-custodial parent to be able to see their kid. Why not respect the time given to them in court and try and make a geniuine effort to make sure that the child gets to see both of them if possible. Now, to come to the defense of the child, I do not condone what Alec did towards the child by leaving that message. I think that he needs to take responsibility for what he did and make amends towards the child. Just because the child is still a child no one has a right to treat any other person like that or call us awful names. I think that he was wrong to do so. No one has the right to cheat kids of the parents love just because they are divorced. Kids love their parents and want to love them both without no one making them feel guilty for choosing either one. How unfair grown-ups can be.
Losing visitation rights over calling your kid a thoughtless pig? Maybe she was acting like a thoughtless pig. Maybe she takes after her dad. I think we'd all be in trouble if you could lose your kids over a comment like that!
I think it's great that a well-known celebrity is considering writing a book about fathers who are given the short end of the stick. My fiancé is not one of the dead beat dads that so many have you have posted...but is a great father who has a ruthless and gutless ex-wife who uses the children to get what she wants. The court system allows her to use them, verbally abuse them, verbally berate my fiancé, his family, and so many others, and they do nothing about it but aware her additional support and him less time with his children.
There's far too much attention spent on dead beat dads when there are far more dads who only want what's best for their kids and time with their children. How can we complain??
Plus Mr. Baldwin is a human being and I'm certain that someone sparked him to speak to his child that way...we've all done it. Said something stupid to our children or others around us because we were hurt and weren't thinking properly. There's no excuse for his message but he's a human with feelings, just because he's a public figure doesn't mean he's going to always be perfect.
I am not going to comment on who was right or wrong on the Baldwin case, but Alec does bring up a point. I know of several dads whose ex-wives have vindictively hurt them through manipulation of the system that favors moms. The real victims usually turns out to be the kids who get cheated out of a normal relationship with their fathers because their mother's vengence.
Too bad the adults all act like children in a lot of these cases - trying to get the better of the other - just forgetting all about their children - selfish individuals at best.
GET A LIFE.......anyone who has nothing MORE TO DO THAN TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT SOME SILLY ACTOR SAID NEEDS TO GET A REAL LIFE.....WHO GIVES A CRAP!!!!!
The title of the book will be 'When Your Wife Hacks You Off....Call your Daughter A Pig'
I do not think he should have called his daughter a pig, however.....
Having had to play games with the 'first wife' from my husband's past, I can understand Alec's problem. And believe me (and I can say this, being a woman myself) there ARE bad MOTHERS out there, too. You always hear about DEADBEAT DADS....but not the moms who play the games.
I wonder what was going on before all this occurred. Again, I'm not saying he was justified, nor do I condone his reaction, but.....I can certainly UNDERSTAND his situation. And, I hope he DOES write that book. I'd buy it for sure.
I am a single mother. My ex husband would join Alex Baldwin in bemoaning parental alienation. Last summer, his visitation was reduced to supervised and he has chosen not to see our daughter since that time. My ex-husband is very convincing in his argument. If you met him, and spent an hour talking with him you might want to rally to his side. Dig a little deeper and you might begin to see a glimmer of the truth. He is a drug addict, though he hides it well. He has refused to take the drug tests that the court ordered him to take. He is an (as of yet undiagnosed) narcissist who has refused to undergo the many psychological exams the court has ordered. Bottom line, he is a danger to our daughter. Once, when she was 3 we were making a cake together and she took a straw from a nearby container and acted like she was going to snort it. When I freaked, she said that 'Daddy does it to be funny'. You can draw your own conclusions there, that is only one example of the many reasons that his visitation has been restricted. The restriction did not occur until after two years of constant legal battles, constantly going back to try to make him attend court ordered co-parenting counseling, trying to enforce the drug testing, etc. His girlfriend, a lawyer and fellow addict, acted as his counsel free of charge during that time. Her law license is now under investigation for other matters. In the meantime, I have racked up $30,000 in legal bills and just now received a bit of child support for the first time in over 2 years (because he was threatened with jail time).
That is my story and I am sure that many of you reading this are thinking, well that is sad, but.... Well, my point is that this thing is not about Alec Baldwin or fathers rights, or my troubles. I do not have the right to complain, I was doing my job as a parent. I did what I did to protect my child against a dangerous situation. That danger can manifest itself as physical danger or emotional danger. These kinds of issues are about the children and their rights, not the parents.
I am under constant pressure. I work at a demanding job, I am a graduate student in Information Science (done online at night after my daughter goes to bed), I have enourmouse legal bills, yet I have NEVER, EVER spoken to my daughter the way that he did. I have lost my temper, I have yelled, but I have never degraded and insulted her. There is NO excuse for that. No matter what pressure he was under, having ones father speak to you like that is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse can be just as scarring as the physical kind. This is not about drawing the line between mother and father, male and female or whatever else. This is about treating your child, someone who depends on you for support, like a human being. Maybe this country needs to reposition its thinking and focus on the innocent in this, the child. Shame on Alec Baldwin for taking his disagreement with his ex wife out on his child, no matter who in that disagreement is right or wrong. There is NEVER a valid reason or excuse for that. He has said that his friends have told him not to worry about it, that to do that kind of thing is normal. Well Alec, your friends lied.
Fathers do get a raw deal from the courts MUCH more often than the mother. However this guy is not an example or poster child. His tirade to his daughter is filled with hate and arrogance and his concern for himself. His embarrassment. His insult.
I do agree with him that he made an ass out of himself, but not for the reason he said.
Talk about alienation! Alec doesn't need the mother to do it.......just keep calling your daughter a pig.....that will take care of it!!!
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