People News
By Stone Martindale Apr 23, 2007, 15:56 GMT
Sheryl Crow's war on toilet paper
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fast forward 2 legislative interpretations, 3 sub committee rule changes (on how this '1 square compliance' can be enfored) and I can see where the 'guys' may get 'underutilized square usage credits'. lets move forward on this - i like it.
I think this suggestion is filled with good intentions but off the mark.
I'd rather give up my car than limit the 'squares'.
Up to 3 squares for a 'pesky occasion'. I got news for you Ms. Crow, last month when my entire family was stricken with the flu, we went through enough TP to have mowed down a national forest.
I can't believe how incredibly rude you people are being. This is a very intelligent person you are talking about here, and her 'limitation' on paper products is almost certainly intended to be self-policed. We live in a society where people ignore REAL social problems because they think Jesus is coming back to set up his fascist theocratic empire by torturing people until they confess -- which they see as GOOD -- so good, they babble in tongues until they are self-hypnotized. (By the way, only using phonemes from their birth language no matter what country they are from). These are generally the same people who call Cheryl Crow dumb, blonde, and make obnoxious sexual statements about her that they have no right to make at all. Finding small ways to limit paper use, changing light bulbs, and converting vehicles are all VERY smart ways to make a positive change -- a change which can be MEASURED BY SCIENCE -- not imagined by people who are afraid of invisible creatures.
Whether Sheryl was making this suggestion for women or men is rather beside the point. It may be that Sally one needs one square for 'number 1' but I need more than 1 square. One might as well suggest that I just 'shake it off', it would be as effective. As for the astounding concession that I might 'occasionally' need two or three squares (for 'number two'), I cannot believe that I am rare among humans in having daily evacuations that require more than that for reasonable cleaniliness. Sheryl might want to do a more profound study of the issues surrounding global warming before she offers us any more of her wisdom on ways to combat it.
I cannot believ she is saying one square will work. For goodness sake no one wants wet fingers. Ms Crowe needs a reality check, and good grief hygene argh.
There are so many ways to help conserve, recycled paper or other fibers would be a suggestion far better.
While we are at it, lets limit the amount of air one person can polute with our exhalations. We might need to ban silly singers.
Sometimes I try to keep it down to half a ROLL on a good day. Bad days can exceed a whole roll.
What about all the people who are prepping for colonoscopies? What would Katie Couric say if they cancelled the test?
Hey - I see a new opportunity being created here!
As a male, I don't use the same share of toilet paper squares as a woman; therefore, I am 'under-quota.' I am very willing to sell any needful buyer toilet paper 'credits' just in case they have problem staying within their quota!
By the way, what IS the quota, per day? per week? per month? Who is checking or counting? Is the quota for two-ply paper the same as single-ply or does that get counted double?
I'll start the bidding for credits at 5 cents per square. Any takers?
I don't know why people assume I'm liberal, just because I think Crow may be onto something. I'm a moderate pro-life Christian Republican who thinks Americans are too wasteful and should consider getting radical on a few things. Christianity is a radical religion, after all ('turn the cheek,' 'whatsoever you do to the least of my people that you do unto me,' and all that).
An earlier commenter (ED on page 2) suggested that one could not be pro-life and pro-environment, but he is silly. A good Christian has duties to be a steward to all of God's children and all of God's creation, and so any good Christian cares about both the unborn and the environment. It is as if some people think we can only focus on one thing to the detriment of others, but we can do so much more. -Sally
In all your eloquence and brilliance you, of course, missed the spelling of 'Sheryl' (whom I would like to plug in the fanny but only after a good hosing off)
Wow, she's really losing it big time, Britney, move over, they're going to need more room in that celebrity wack-o ward! I'd love to know how this would be enforced...the potty police?. Would they ration TP in some way like you can only buy one roll per week per household. If she's like this at home it's no wonder Lance left her!
And who is gonna enforce this? The 'Toilet Paper Police'? HA HA HA...What a moron. I'm an environmentalist.....just not 'mental' like Sheryl. She's reaching big time.
Looks like you've all pretty much fallen for the media's smear campaign. They find the weirdest thing she said, and put that ahead of everything else, to sensationalize the story.
This is done to avert your attention -- which it looks like they have accomplished. Instead of asking yourself, hmmm, that seems like a pretty outrageous comment, perhaps the media have taken it out of proportion to make Sheryl Crow look like an idiot, so people will hate her, and stop listening to her, and of course, make anyone who starts to raise questions about the environment look like a cook -- like Sheryl Crow.
Hey, we learned from Richard M Nixon ..
Some no brain liberal a-hole (and a dirty one at that) is gonna
confront me !
PS- I take my earlier comment back. It seems possible that she may be suggesting we use 1-3 squares for a #1. She may not be thinking about #2 at all. An earlier commenter pointed this out (that she is giving an off the cuff remark and may be thinking just about peeing).
I'm thinking of the technology now...hmmmmmm...A toilet paper dispenser requiring a retinal scan, working in tandem with a toilet which would monitor the mass emitted and dispense accordingly. Or, on that bidet idea, yes, we could all carry around our portable water bottle bidet attachment. We'd end up a little wet, but maybe the mass of the additional water would increase our allotment to four squares for drying purposes. I'm sure Al Gore is on the line to Cheryl now to see if she has anymore fabulous ideas.
Golly, ah sure am so aorry to have caused all you all such a fuss about my rotten crotch area ..
I pee standing up by the way ..
and everything I poop, gets put on my albums anyway ..
If she is all that interested in protecting the environment, why doesn't she scrap that monstor diesel-powered bus and ride a bike, or if that is too slow, then try traveling in a small car such as a little Honda Civic.
yes, this really adds credibility to the global warming control agenda... she is doing more harm than good ... 1 square, geez... thats tmi. She should focus on her prime *talent*, music. This is weird. Blackmarket tp credits coming soon.
Wow, so much negative feedback; such a good idea. The plan is 'look, here's one more place where we could save paper by being careful.' Paper's bad for the environment. There's no getting around it. Conservative use is a good idea 100% of the time. Foolish use of paper is foolish 100% of the time. All she is saying is, 'Don't be foolish, be conservative.'
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