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Sheryl Crow's war on toilet paper
By Stone Martindale Apr 23, 2007, 15:56 GMT
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Older Talkback
Appears this Crowe has gotten herself a case of 'bird flu' and done flown the CU-CU's nest. Strongly suggest we either vaccinate ourselves now (with a big 'ol pair of ear plugs so we don't have to listen to her) or just grab a gauge and have OPEN BIRD SEASON and all 'eat some crowe'
Wow, lets impose restrictions on cleanlyness, no wonder Lance dumped her.
Holy Cow,
What a nitwit ... good lord ... I am flabbergasted by this out-of-touch stupidity .. no wonder all her 'gentlemen' friends just give her a whirl in the sack and then the 'ol heave ho ... ( blonde headed 'ho )
blondie, please
lay off the dope for a minute & wise up
anyone realize how much CD's are screwing up the enviornment ?
'All the want to do is have some fun' ?? she better clean up that backdoor a little better than 'one square' for the pesky situation I'd like to show her ...
I just used enough TP for 2 months worth of sittings because I have 'pesky' diarrhea....
Her recommendation is a good one, and I'm *surprised* by all the negative comments. She is suggesting *women* use one piece of TP for a number 1. Usually, no more than one piece is required for a number 1 for a woman. It must be men commenting; men may not understand what she is talking about. Men do not use TP for a number 1.
Shame on you guys for misunderstanding and harshly criticizing her thoughtful suggestion!
One to two squares per sitting? Wow. She must have a tight--budget.
Well, she wasn't clear on that Sally, silly.
Oh my God, what a moron.
Many amongst us think the 'earth savers' are kooks of some kind, and statements like this only serve to fortify those feelings.
We can always reverse the wheels of progress and go back to corncobs. This way we can use the corn kernels to make ethanol, and not have the cobs go to waste (no pun intended). While we're at it, lets just find a convenient bush. This way we can just reach over and grab a leaf or whatever, providing you don't live in the middle of the city. But then you could always carry a hosta plant around with you. You would really have a problem if you lived in the Mojave or similar, as I would imagine a cactus would cause you a certain level of discomfort!
Its 'just like a woman' to say 'people should use one square per sitting' and think for one minute that this might be interpreted the way liberal sally a few posts up felt she was 'entitled' to.
Sheryl is 'a boob' (heeh heh)
One square per sitting......??? I think she would most definitly have a breakthrough and be scraping doo off with her fingernail.
On second thought, where can I get three or four bags of whatever she is smoking!!!
no wonder she is making that face in the picture .. her drawers must be a mess ...
I think she was talking about ' Hollywood Squares'.
Maybe we should replace all toilets with bedits...no,wait, that would waste water. Man, it's too bad paper and water aren't renewable resources...oh, wait, they are.
Yet another reminder why these people are entertainers, not leaders. Let's be entertained by them but not take them too seriously. Alec Baldwin for Father of the Year, anyone?
1) Not everyone can do that.
2) You're in a country where that is not acceptable.
3) We're big on infanticide, but save the whales, dolphins and toilet paper?
I don't get it.
Im going to wipe using a whole roll of paper towel ... each time.
I'm a woman and I've heard plenty of other women criticizing her. That's completely ridiculous - one square of toilet paper! Why not just go back to using corn cobs? Apparently cleanliness is not important to her.
Lets see,one square per wipe.Jimney Crickets,why not just do what folks in some middle eastern countries do;wipe their bum with their bare hands and wash them off afterwards?Its not a joke,its fact. They use a 0 squares per wipe system.While we're at it,we'll advocate no tissues for sneezing,just hurl away from potential recipients. In a subway?Point at your shoes,mate!
Im all for conservation and ideas to help the environment,but culture and hygiene must be considered as well.Lets focus on the big ticket items for real reduction,like all those SUVs us yanks are crack-addicted to.Or sales of motorcycles faster than the fastest police cars and killing thousands of young lads per year; what of that?
Well,now I have heard it all !! limits on toilet paper? Is this all she can come up with? I would hate to be the toilet seat she sits on,what a mess,as she couldn't be very clean if she practices what she is attempting to put forth is true of herself! Personally,I think there are better ,more productive avenues to explore. Sincerly Gordon
It is clear from her website that she is making a distinction between #1 and #2 when she says 'only one square per restroom visit (#1), except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required (#2).' This is taken out of context by many commenters. Women only need one square most of the time for a #1. Men are soooo stupid for missing this point, and taking her out of context without a visit to her website!
How bout no toilet paper! Shake hands with the right wipe with the left. Let me know if my idea stinks. haha
I use way more than one piece of toilet paper for number 1, people who don't must have some pretty smelly panties. My mother only used one piece and you could smell her long before she got there.
I think there could be a way where cleanliness and environment friendliness can go hand in hand. No doubt there are other ways to do a clean job after sittings. The chinese have invented a way to process water from the bath or showers and then use it to irrigate the gardens or use them for flushing toilets.
In the Roman times the after job was done using saline water and brushes to clean the A**. So No harm in trying new things that do more good ona long run.
some folks should stick to what they do best. cheryl's is not waste management. nice she is thinking about it. one square of paper is nothing new. my mother tried getting my brother and i to do it in the sixties, because of a limited budget. it didn't work then, doubt that it with work now. maybe we should just go and collect leaves for toilet use.
Ok has she lost it totally
Her first boyfriend left because of this talk the same with her second. The same with Lance Armstrong that was her turd...
I wonder if Sally & Sheryl are paying their taxes ..
WE HEAR you about your #1 (whizzin) wiping with one sqaure and it's still OFF ..
AND - YOU are missing the point on that: you liberal women cant say 'people' and expect anyone to think you mean 'only women when #1'ing' therein lies a huge fault of this Boob .. she is so egocentric she thinks she can say this ..
Now then .. 'piss off'
Crowe's statement is so idiotic it's mind-boggling. One square of toilet paper? I don't think so. The rule on toilet paper should be: 'Whatever it takes and no more.'
I do know women (Let's be honest, it's mostly women who do this, not men.) who use such egregious amounts of toilet paper, it exceeds all reasonable limits of cleanliness and enters the realm of super anal retentiveness.
Now I know she is a certified idiot !
Great idea! We can create a whole new branch of law enforcement...the Potty Police (aka the Crapper Cops). Need to use the potty? Well, you'll have to wait to be escorted by one of these new agents.
Sorry, I like Sheryl and have no problem with her suggesting to try to conserve toilet paper...but let's not create any unenforceable laws to that effect.
Incidentally, I am a male and I blot the end of my PP with a square (or two) of toilet paper after urination. While I might be in the minority I just want to point out that the practice is not completely unique to women...
I cannot believe that Sherly Crow thinks 1 square of toilet paper would be consistently acceptable for #1. I personally like to use more than one, so that I don't end up with urine on my hand. One sheet, especially single-ply, would not work under 99% of circumstances.
I disagree with Sally and Sheryl entirely.
well back to the old corn cob .and pines cones
Nitwits are the ones who can't see the humor in it. She wasn't being serious.
come on guys, that's not practical? hahaha.
I think she ticked off Karl Rove with her lines of questioning the other day and now he is helping the media make her truly look like an idiot. Great political machine at work.
Asians, the French and Middle Easterners have been using water to clean themselves after nature's call for centuries, its much cleaner, better for the enivronment and leaves the private area less stinky.
As an example, take a piece of wet mud and smear it on your hand, use a dry piece of toilet paper to remove that mud. You will certainly leave behind a nice layer.
Toilet paper use originated in the days when water was scarce or unfeasable to take to the outhouse. We're over those problems now.
I guess we need to put a cop (or at least cameras) in every bathroom stall in America to make sure no one cheats and uses 2 squares.
I will consent to use 1 square of toilet paper if she comes and licks the rest of the crap off my ass and fingers.
I agree with her. But we shouldn't stop there: let's ban all paper and/or plastic products that bear her image, name, likeness, horrible music, idiotic opinions, and shameless self-promotion under the guise of 'environmentalism'.
Furthermore, anyone who agrees with this type of fascist greening shall henceforth be forced to walk everywhere, wipe their rears with ready-made napkin sleeves, and be prohibited under penalty of imprisonment from driving or owning the wasteful Subaru cars that she endorses -- and they shall be forced to listen to that warbling awful song she sold to Subaru to promote their wasteful, earth unfriendly vehicles.
I'm going to needlessly burn some gas today, in honor of the windbag that is Sheryl Crow.
The woman is blogging, and 'thinking' out loud. She made this clear, and never claimed it was a fully developed plan. And, she was talking about peeing. Personally, I would take at least 2-3, but people probably don't need as much as they routinely use. Not like, huge 'mittens' of TP. (I can't believe I'm typing this.)
Anyhow, when people are brainstorming not every idea is going to be a keeper.
Big Fan!
Now I visited her site and saw some what I thought to be some useful tips, olive
oil over heated no good, don't drink water out of plastic bottle after it lay in car in sun, etc.
Sheryl please, how can I take what you say in earnest if on Super Bowl Sunday you are hawking hair dye, HAIR DYE. YEOW!
Sheryl,I love ya, your heart is in the right place, but as my kid(4 years old) told me recently following an unexplainable act, 'Dad what was I thinking? I don't know! My brains must have been in my legs.I won't do that again' (she has never seen T.V. and we do not speak this way).
S, you may want to consider the advice of a 4 year old.
Don't do that again, and get your brains out of your legs.
Love the Jersey Guy.
No matter how you jiggle and dance the last few drops will land in your pants. Sheeoot! Men have had to do without paper for centuries and we just learn to live with the embarrassing wet spot on the crotch.
BTW, in Turkey and other eastern countries they don't use paper period. Just a little freshening up from a water tap...
Ugh...as a tree hugger myself she is not helping the cause....get off of my team and join the republicans.
OH my , She talks about the crap that comes out of one end of her, but what will she use to wipe the Crap that comes out of her mouth.
Is it just me....or does someone else think's she walks aruond with a dirty derriere....just a thought...
She is off her rocker. I see next she will put a meter on the amount of water one should use for a shower or wash dishes. Oh who cares if you used the amount and that's it. I don't care of there is still left over food on the plate or still dirt on your arm.
some men do use toilet paper for #1 (if uncircumcised
Obvious for PP, not so obvious for #2.
Unfortunately not all of us can afford a bidet, a vastly superior method of cleaning the crotch area. Most Americans would think it's some freakish, fetishistic practice, while considering it perfectly normal to rub the mess around with wad after wad.
Try a shower head with a flexible hose. What a feeling!
Saves on underwear washing, too.
Wow! Its amazing that such a convenient slur would appear in the media after Sheryl Crow has a public run-in with Karl Rove. That Sheryl Crow... she's CRAZY!!!!
What an amazing coincidence.
And who is going to enforce this? The toilet paper police?
Maybe that new clothing line can also include a new line of undergarments for women with a wicking fabric crotch vs. the cotton crotch and if it's a #1, don't bother with paper at all...just a quick shake (like men), pull up your panties and viola! And for those inconvenient periods we women are prone to have, well, for that, just switch to a pad instead of a tampon and then you kill two birds with one stone, catching everything. But then maybe she believes those products are horribly wasteful as well and that we should all use a little insertable cup to catch the monthly emissions. I would really like to see the shenanigans she goes through with a square or two for this monthly business. And two or 3 squares for the poopies...please, Cheryl, remind me not to shake your hand. UGH, what a moron.
Let's just dispense with toilet paper completely! In some countries they hang a piece of cloth on a nail outside the commode. You use the cloth for your personal clean-up, then rinse it, ring it out and hang it on the nail for the next person.
That set-up ought to REALLY please Ms. Crow!
'some men do use toilet paper for #1 (if uncircumcised'
do you know of any man who goes in a urinal then screams 'oh my god, i need toilet paper!!' , runs from the urinal to the stall to grab some toilet paper with little mister happy bouncing around? No men use toilet paper for #1
I can not believe this. Of all the 'good' Cheryl could be doing with her celebrity voice, she picks 'this!' Unreal!!!! TP is bio-freakin-degradable! HOW COMPLETELY STUPID CAN YOU BE CHERYL? AND SALLY, FOR THAT MATTER!!!! Hey Cheryl, why don't you use your celeb voice to really make a difference and ask that the world puts a ban on something that is non-biodegradable like plastic grocery bags. Heck I get my taco bell food handed to me in a plastic bag. We could eliminate plastic lids on any drinks and come up with something that really would break down in a landfill after 5 or 10 years!
Ever travelled to India? They don't use tp and it's one of the most polluted countries in the world? What a crazy worthless idea!
Wow, she must be one of the lucky ones who does not have menstrual periods.
Yes, don't waste paper but come on lady, get real.
Ha ha ha! that is sooo funny... by the way Sally, what a hell is number 1? Urinate? Well, speak clear. Saying 'urinate' is not breaking the law, and it is a very natural action. One square of TP could work but only for the people that wouldnt mind to have urine on their hands, and then pass it to the door handle and faucet. I personally wouldnt like to touch a faucet or door that has urine residues. I am just trying not to get sick from a strangers urine... Then, it is unpleasant to be at, for example, a bus or plane surounded by women that has not cleaned up properly their intimate parts, which would probably rise odors. Anyways, the best way to be hygienic is by having a bidet... but here in the US those things are a mystery.
Can we say Crazy. I dare someone to try and tell me how many squares to use. Thats a personal opinion. Who in the hexk is going to enforce this crazy idea???and how??? She isn't the brightest light bulb in the pack is she
I can't believe the hostility towards her for this comment.
Yes, it's a goofy idea and obviously unimplementable. She's a singer, though, not a scientist. Singers are generally not known for their brilliant policy suggestions (though there are exceptions). The idea behind this suggestion is appropriate, however. Using less paper for all our daily activities (yes, including toilet paper) is an effective way to help combat climate change. Unfortunately, she just took it to a silly extreme.
I find it odd how the media has latched onto this (admittedly absurd) idea. It's really not that big of a news story.
She has been sitting in bars on Santa Monica Boulevard for too long. Stop drinking and start thinking, Sheryl!
fast forward 2 legislative interpretations, 3 sub committee rule changes (on how this '1 square compliance' can be enfored) and I can see where the 'guys' may get 'underutilized square usage credits'. lets move forward on this - i like it.
I think this suggestion is filled with good intentions but off the mark.
I'd rather give up my car than limit the 'squares'.
Up to 3 squares for a 'pesky occasion'. I got news for you Ms. Crow, last month when my entire family was stricken with the flu, we went through enough TP to have mowed down a national forest.
I can't believe how incredibly rude you people are being. This is a very intelligent person you are talking about here, and her 'limitation' on paper products is almost certainly intended to be self-policed. We live in a society where people ignore REAL social problems because they think Jesus is coming back to set up his fascist theocratic empire by torturing people until they confess -- which they see as GOOD -- so good, they babble in tongues until they are self-hypnotized. (By the way, only using phonemes from their birth language no matter what country they are from). These are generally the same people who call Cheryl Crow dumb, blonde, and make obnoxious sexual statements about her that they have no right to make at all. Finding small ways to limit paper use, changing light bulbs, and converting vehicles are all VERY smart ways to make a positive change -- a change which can be MEASURED BY SCIENCE -- not imagined by people who are afraid of invisible creatures.
Whether Sheryl was making this suggestion for women or men is rather beside the point. It may be that Sally one needs one square for 'number 1' but I need more than 1 square. One might as well suggest that I just 'shake it off', it would be as effective. As for the astounding concession that I might 'occasionally' need two or three squares (for 'number two'), I cannot believe that I am rare among humans in having daily evacuations that require more than that for reasonable cleaniliness. Sheryl might want to do a more profound study of the issues surrounding global warming before she offers us any more of her wisdom on ways to combat it.
I cannot believ she is saying one square will work. For goodness sake no one wants wet fingers. Ms Crowe needs a reality check, and good grief hygene argh.
There are so many ways to help conserve, recycled paper or other fibers would be a suggestion far better.
While we are at it, lets limit the amount of air one person can polute with our exhalations. We might need to ban silly singers.
Sometimes I try to keep it down to half a ROLL on a good day. Bad days can exceed a whole roll.
What about all the people who are prepping for colonoscopies? What would Katie Couric say if they cancelled the test?
Hey - I see a new opportunity being created here!
As a male, I don't use the same share of toilet paper squares as a woman; therefore, I am 'under-quota.' I am very willing to sell any needful buyer toilet paper 'credits' just in case they have problem staying within their quota!
By the way, what IS the quota, per day? per week? per month? Who is checking or counting? Is the quota for two-ply paper the same as single-ply or does that get counted double?
I'll start the bidding for credits at 5 cents per square. Any takers?
I don't know why people assume I'm liberal, just because I think Crow may be onto something. I'm a moderate pro-life Christian Republican who thinks Americans are too wasteful and should consider getting radical on a few things. Christianity is a radical religion, after all ('turn the cheek,' 'whatsoever you do to the least of my people that you do unto me,' and all that).
An earlier commenter (ED on page 2) suggested that one could not be pro-life and pro-environment, but he is silly. A good Christian has duties to be a steward to all of God's children and all of God's creation, and so any good Christian cares about both the unborn and the environment. It is as if some people think we can only focus on one thing to the detriment of others, but we can do so much more. -Sally
In all your eloquence and brilliance you, of course, missed the spelling of 'Sheryl' (whom I would like to plug in the fanny but only after a good hosing off)
Wow, she's really losing it big time, Britney, move over, they're going to need more room in that celebrity wack-o ward! I'd love to know how this would be enforced...the potty police?. Would they ration TP in some way like you can only buy one roll per week per household. If she's like this at home it's no wonder Lance left her!
And who is gonna enforce this? The 'Toilet Paper Police'? HA HA HA...What a moron. I'm an environmentalist.....just not 'mental' like Sheryl. She's reaching big time.
Looks like you've all pretty much fallen for the media's smear campaign. They find the weirdest thing she said, and put that ahead of everything else, to sensationalize the story.
This is done to avert your attention -- which it looks like they have accomplished. Instead of asking yourself, hmmm, that seems like a pretty outrageous comment, perhaps the media have taken it out of proportion to make Sheryl Crow look like an idiot, so people will hate her, and stop listening to her, and of course, make anyone who starts to raise questions about the environment look like a cook -- like Sheryl Crow.
Hey, we learned from Richard M Nixon ..
Some no brain liberal a-hole (and a dirty one at that) is gonna
confront me !
PS- I take my earlier comment back. It seems possible that she may be suggesting we use 1-3 squares for a #1. She may not be thinking about #2 at all. An earlier commenter pointed this out (that she is giving an off the cuff remark and may be thinking just about peeing).
I'm thinking of the technology now...hmmmmmm...A toilet paper dispenser requiring a retinal scan, working in tandem with a toilet which would monitor the mass emitted and dispense accordingly. Or, on that bidet idea, yes, we could all carry around our portable water bottle bidet attachment. We'd end up a little wet, but maybe the mass of the additional water would increase our allotment to four squares for drying purposes. I'm sure Al Gore is on the line to Cheryl now to see if she has anymore fabulous ideas.
Golly, ah sure am so aorry to have caused all you all such a fuss about my rotten crotch area ..
I pee standing up by the way ..
and everything I poop, gets put on my albums anyway ..
If she is all that interested in protecting the environment, why doesn't she scrap that monstor diesel-powered bus and ride a bike, or if that is too slow, then try traveling in a small car such as a little Honda Civic.
yes, this really adds credibility to the global warming control agenda... she is doing more harm than good ... 1 square, geez... thats tmi. She should focus on her prime *talent*, music. This is weird. Blackmarket tp credits coming soon.
Wow, so much negative feedback; such a good idea. The plan is 'look, here's one more place where we could save paper by being careful.' Paper's bad for the environment. There's no getting around it. Conservative use is a good idea 100% of the time. Foolish use of paper is foolish 100% of the time. All she is saying is, 'Don't be foolish, be conservative.'
In order to further the message, Ms. Crow should write a song called:
'no matter how I shake and dance,
the last drop's always in my pants'
She has totally flipped out and this proves that too many drugs will take a toll on reality. Too, bad, since I liked her earlier music. Guess she'll be the musical celebrity for Ralph Nader now. Yeesh.
Sally, here is the full quote:
Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, 'how bout just washing the one square out.'
In other words, she explicitly said that she is talking about men and women alike. This is the stupidest idea I have ever heard. If she wants to T@ss my salad after, then maybe I'll consider it.
IT SEEMS TO ME THIS SINGER HAS WAY TOOO MUCH TIME ON HER HANDS!!!
Has she recently fallen on her head ? That is the most ridiculous thing I have heard in recent memory. Perhaps ban paper towels or go back to the use of hand kerchiefs, but a limit on TP is ludicrous!...not to mention unsanitary. Maybe Ms. Crow should record another album because she obviously has Waay too much time on her hands. It just goes to prove the old saying 'Think before you talk' she obviously let that one rip without running it through a filter.
what an idiot.
Maybe it's time to try the 'Wipe your butt with your finger and stick it the hole' idea.
Sally,
You need help. Read a book. Take a class. Do something to improve your 'intellect'. May I assume that you Bag Groceries or make sandwiches for a living ?
Maybe she poops little dry rabbit pellets.........
Too bad that a writer used his skills to try and turn a thoughtful act into a one-liner to goof on. I commend Sheryl Crowe for being an adult and being responsible and not afraid to address issues other musicians and actors would not approach. Japan uses a much less wasteful method that leaves you cleaner....water. You've all heard of the bidet. It's time for it to start showing up in America homes. Trying to scrape shil off your arse with a piece of paper is stoneage.
the negative feedback is because this is a nitwit idea. Anyway if guys hardly ever use any at all for *#1* they are actually way ahead for once... if paper conservation was a real issue then what should be addressed are the reams of paper sold to be used in business for our computer driven paperless environment... nobody routinely kept cases of paper on hand until the advent of the pc printer...lets assume this was well intentioned but naive in the extreme.
What about people with serious bowel problems? Like those who are fighting Inflammatory Bowel Disease such as Ulcerative Colitis or Crohn's Disease? What about people who have a J-Pouch in place of a colon? Three squares is not nearly enough when your poo isn't of normal consistency. I think Crow needs to think and/or research universally before addressing the public on these kinds of issues... I know she intends to make a statement that may help 'save the planet' but, really?! Toilet paper?!
She needs more fiber in her diet and seehow many sheets she can get away with!!!
I agree with the other comment thank god they are not leaders and entertainers only!!!
What a moron. She must smell really good, yoo; know wonder Lance kicked her liberal flaky behind to the curb. I used to like her when she first got known, a while back, but now I can't even listen to her 'music'. Why do all these actors and musicicans believe that their relative fame makes them experts on the environment , as well as other political issues? She is a ditzy flake.
lighten up on the kind bud cheryl
I have a suggestion for a substitute...celebrity fingers! These self righteous people use more energy in a day than all the butts in the state of New York and more greenhouse gases come out of bovine butts than all vehicles in North America. I would like to know how singers, actors and politicians get to be atmospheric science experts or for that matter experts on anything. Does celebrity status make one smarter or impart knowledge in everything or do they read chicken bones?
Like anyone with a functioning brain cares about her opinion. I think there are more important things to worry about besides how much toilet paper one uses.
'I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.'
Who is going to be the enforcer?
I knew a schizpohrenic patient once that stuffed toilet paper into his rectum, no joking. He's the ideal guy for the liberal toilet paper cause. In theory he could crap and wipe at the same time. He still had to bathe though, but didn't want to.
Come on! One square??!! I see why she doesn't need TP, with all that **** coming out of her mouth.
In India, Cheryl and Sally would be hosed down with cow urine to purify them after such silly talk.
Wildly,
Indian
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