People News
Attention starved Hilton sports new cleavage
By Stone Martindale Mar 13, 2007, 6:05 GMT
Paris Hilton EPA/PAUL BUCK
Blame the AP and Reuters news ban, but tidbits about the woman Bill Maher called for the beheading of, despite her possible "niceness," heiress Paris Hilton, considered to be "patient zero" for the vapid non-news that has infested so many magazines and online blogs, have been scarce. She is now proudly sporting a big old pair of hooters to anyone who will snap her picture.
Whether or not they are the result of a local Dr. Boobenstein, or are simply the end result of a remarkable NASA designed push-up bra remains to be known.
The Heiress, from whatever source, now sports Double D's.
Hilton, 26, has always been known for having normal, tasteful cleavage - it's about the only time tasteful could be accurately used in the same sentence when referencing anything Hilton.
Over the weekend she was photographed out in Hollywood sporting a baby-doll dress filled out dramatically in the top shelf department.
COMMENT
blog comments powered by DisqusLatest Headlines in People
- 1. Usher: I'm a genius
- 2. Jake Shears received death threat
- 3. One Direction gain police protect in Canada
- 4. Susan Boyle has emotional motorway breakdown
- 5. Russell Brand: Tom Cruise is a joy to be around
Older Talkback
page: 1
page: 1
Jared's fat suit makerMar 13th, 2007 - 11:03:56
Paris has implants. Well, here she is, 26 years old - an age she once referred to as 'old and icky,' right? Paris rhymes with hilarious and I suspect this is only the beginning of a new era for the old gal too dumb and valuless to be replaced by a smart and valuble robot, and loved only by certain transexual individuals who smartly spy her mannish features (Hint: size 11 shoes, big-boned, muscular legs, broad shoulders and lantern jaw) so easily attainable for those paying gigs outside of serving pancakes to the drunken F-listers. Yes, Paris is NOT going to age well, boys and girls, and yes, it's going to be one hilarious car wreck caused by a train wreck seen from a plane crashing into the proverbial mountain. Here's the evidence, mmmm-kay?
1) Lack of sleep (baaaad news) This chick stays up late, late late - despite the instructions provided by her um, trainersses.
2) Big drinker (Hey, I know - fluid is hot, but darn you, bad alcohol, you're ruining Paris' looks!)
3) Eventually she'll have a pronounced limp. (C'mon, she's due to fall from a table while dancing like, now!) Can't you just see her spinning like a princess on her bejeweled... Hoveround?
4) Too much suntanning. She may spray now, but not always, huh, Paris? I think even the sun is gonna have a giggle in about 8 years, kids!
5) Cosmetic foot surgeries. Oh, yeah, she'll need 'em. Have you SEEN her feet? Bunion and hammertoe coffee table books don't sell even to hardcore foot fetishists!
6) Hip replacement/Knee surgery. OK, she puts on heels to try to remember if she showed anyone her vagina last night. Britney sooo didn't invent that attention-grabber, er, snatcher. Anyway, have you seen her walk and pose? It's like 7 people are remotely operating her body, and they're all successful people's drunken sons.
7) Her face. Her face is gonna need a LOT of work. Her nose. Her nose looks like she uses it to pull things onto her feet that give her bunions and hammertoes. It's already rumored she needs corrective eye surgery to correct corrective surgery to correct her droopy eyelids.
8) Neck job, helloooo! Thought we didn't notice, huh, Paris?
9) Ear job. Pin 'em back already! Oh - and plus it's free with knee replacement surgery - live a little!
Just a for starters list, but you'll see. Her surgical procedures are going to make Joan Rivers and Phylis Diller salute - causing their foreheads to pull to one side.
Report this comment