Britney is wigging out

Moe 'D' Star BadBoyzStudioZee.comFeb 19th, 2007 - 18:33:17

Brittany is a smart girl. She is currently trying to revive her earlier successes in her career, and believe me; She will do it! I have read some material about how she, yes Brittany, masterminded the most vital aspects of what made her the superstar she has become, and she knows EXACTLY what she is doing! It may seem a little outlandish, but that is what created her from day one. The next chapter? Who knows. And by the way; I am the father of her babies! I want a DNA test!

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hey y'all, it's me, BritneyFeb 19th, 2007 - 20:27:58

I look like an alien, y'all! An alien from planet SPEARS. Or maybe like a....no, like an alien. A sexy, sexy alien. And everyone can just SHUT UP about how I'm supposed to be on drugs and how I was only in rehab for ten minutes -- I WAS JUST DROPPING OFF A PACKAGE TO THOSE REHAB PLACES, because I am, um....I'm totally working for REHAB MEALS ON WHEELS. It's a CHARITY! -- and how I'm totally losing my custody battle (whatever that even is) and blah blah blah blah. Aren't you happy that I'm not all showing you if the rugs match the curtains anymore? (PS: NOW THEY DO. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. I'm tired.)

I just wish people would stop paying so much attention to me! Can't a girl get some PRIVACY? I'm just quietly trying to live my life, y'all. I don't know why I have to be FOLLOWED everywhere! It's not like I want all of everyone's attention all the time. Would you say that I'm acting like I want people to look at me? Because I would not.

God, my bald head RULES. I am going to save so much money on extensions and hair dye and shampoo and conditioner and hair spray and more extensions and now I can fire that hairdresser my mother hired after I went on Matt Lauer so I 'didn't look like a feral cat.' Whatever, MOTHER, I think feral cats are pretty -- they have blue eyes! -- but now you don't even have to WORRY ABOUT IT. Because lookit, everyone: NO HAIR AT ALL! So SUCK ON it, magazine who said my hair might fall out from over-dying: I'ma STARTING OVER. Like that TV show. Is that still even on? I liked that show. I should go ON THAT SHOW. YES. That is a great idea. I'm going to call my agent right now. I wonder who my agent is.

Okay. Stuff to do. So much to do. So much stuff for me to do. I have to go buff my head and then call my agent about Starting Over and then I need to place ten to twelve heavy breathing calls to Justin and then I need to call J.C Chasez and ask if I can open for him when he goes on tour, just like the old days, and then if he says yes, I need to write some songs real fast and then I need to go buy some beer and then I need to moisturize my tattoo and then I have some other stuff to do that I can't remember and then I need check to in and make sure my little girls are still alive and then I need -- oh, wait, they're totally boys, my bad -- and then I need to go get a sandwich. GOD. I better get on it.

Okay, talk to you later, guys! Bye! Bye! Bye! Why am I so amped right now? Maybe I need to sit down. No. I don't. Okay! Bye!

LOVE,
BRITNEY.

PS: OR BALD-NEY! HA. I just thought of that. Maybe I should start doing some STAND-UP! HOW AWESOME WOULD THAT BE? Okay. Bye for real.

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mikaliFeb 19th, 2007 - 21:41:15

Britney needs to proudly show her head to the public without wigs. She should be proud that she has defied a culture which insists that all women must have long, flowing hair. She is a true pioneer and has done something that many women are too chicken to do.

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mdfFeb 20th, 2007 - 09:13:12

Poor Britney..she's been out of the spotlight since Anna Nicole's death. The papparazzi she hates so much is not following her around anymore. Boo Hoo. What to do. What to do. I know shave your head bald. Ya that's it.. that'll get you noticed again. Get a tatoo too. WOW. That'll make headline news.
Oh look, the paparaazzi are all over you again. It worked.
You're a loser Britney. All that money you have will never buy you any class. Go home and raise your children and leave everyone else's children alone with your stupid antics. It's all just very.. pathetic.

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elizabethAug 26th, 2007 - 00:38:01

i know how to help britney - and its really simple - i wish i could talk to her

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