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Perez Hilton outs more celebrity gays in media
By Stone Martindale Nov 4, 2006, 16:08 GMT
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THE DANGERS OF 'THE CLOSET'
In the wake of all of the recent sex scandals in the past couple of years, months, weeks and days in Washington and elsewhere that occasionally monopolize the news because they often involve high profile individuals such as politicians, clergy etc. For this reason I believe it is high time that the 'closet' needs to be mentioned and understood. I believe it will provide the necessary context from which to view some of these scandals. The closet, meaning where people hide heir sexual orientation, whether one is a man or woman but particularly I am speaking of men at this time because I believe men use the closet even more often than woman because of societies very narrow view and expectations of what behaviors are considered appropriate for men. Woman can be Tomboys much easier than men can be sissies. Of course not all gay men are effeminate by a long shot but that is a stereotypical image of gay men and therefore many men attempt to cover up any behaviors they may have and believe may bring on suspicion. Therefore men, whether they be gay or straight, will practice stereotypical masculine behaviors to thwart any suspicion often out of fear and necessity, particularly if they feel pressure to do so to protect their careers or career advancement. However, many gay men for a variety of reasons whether they have difficulties reconciling their religious views with their natural inner feelings and same sex attractions or also may do so out of fear of social denunciation. These men will then join the astounding numbers of men that are also hiding in the closet.
The fear of being discovered can be enormous and absolutely terrifying. These men will often then do what they believe society expects from them. They will often marry and have children perhaps out of desperation in an always unsuccessful attempt at trying to make these natural longings go away and try and hide these powerful feelings of attraction that we all know very well and have experienced ourselves whether toward the same sex or the opposite sex, its all the same. They may also marry and have homosexual secret liaisons with men and feel terrible guilt in doing so. They will do their very best to compartmentalize their lives the best that they can, but I believe and have found that the longer one stays in the closet the more damage is done to them emotionally. It is very difficult to compartmentalize for a long period of time these very powerful feelings without developing some emotional problems to varying degrees. Also many develop coping mechanisms such as addictive behaviors of all sorts whether they be alcoholism, prescription or non prescription abuse. They may develop addictions to pornography sexual addiction or other self-destructive ways of acting out. Once again unfortunately the longer one stays in the closet there will also then be more victims because of their closeted lifestyle choice. The victims may be their wives and children, their friends, parents and siblings, all feeling like they have been betrayed if their true nature is discovered as it was for ex-governor of New Jersey, Mr. McGreevy. I feel very sad for the victims as well as I very much understand the sadness and despair he and many others feel once the closet door is flung open. For some, the shame is just too unbearable and suicide seems like the only alternative to ending their pain and shame.
Society needs to take some responsibility with this matter of the closet by being more accepting of alternative lifestyles. Without the closet just think of how much less pain many people and families would have to endure. Not only the ones that feel that living in the closet is their only alternative but for the victims that find themselves feeling betrayed and the breaking up of families. We as a culture have some soul searching to do on this matter and not be so self-involved and self-righteous. There are a variety of ways of loving and living. We need to accept that what seems to be normal for some is not necessarily normal for all. With what I have just said in no way excuses adult men from making wrong choices that victimize others such as the irresponsible behaviors demonstrated by the now ex-congressmen Foley. I'm not even going to go so far as to say his closet behaviors are the reason for his conduct. I don't know. I don't know him. However, as I said the closet can cause deep and very troubling emotional problems that can manifest in abhorrent behaviors. This may or may not be the cause of his behaviors. However one thing I do know is that he does know what's right and wrong and as he surely knew, his attractions to under aged teens is not only illegal but inappropriate an attraction and should have sought therapy before creating victims. However, because there is still so much shame yet in this day and age and our rather hypocritical puritanical society, cause many gays to not seek help concerning issues they may be struggling with from the appropriate professionals. I generally do not recommend clergy because it can cause further damage do to their religious agendas which can deepen one's shame and depression. The is a very complicated issue that society has to become more compassionate about or we will continue to shame gays enough and inhibit their comfort level preventing them from seeking the appropriate help for any specific personal issues in which they may be struggling with.
One can read more about this issue and many other disturbing issues involving gay culture of today in my new book; 'why gay men do what they do', an inside look at gay culture.
I believe everyone has the right to live as they choose, whether in the closet or out, gay or straight. I object to those 'do-gooders' out there who feel they have the right to 'out' someone, famous or not, just because they feel someone's private life should be made public.
I feel that it is the right of the individual to come out or not. Having been closeted for most of my 66 years I am now out but feel uncomfortable in many, many situations. When I am with a straight crowd and I feel disapproval I am 2 inches tall. When with a dominately gay crowd I feel 12 feet tall and invincible. Go figure!!!! It is what society does to us.
Kudos to Hilton. It is immoral to hide one's sexuality in such important times for the Gay Lesbian Civil Rights Movement. Hiding in the closet, when one is a celebrity, is not a matter of personal privacy. It is a cowardly self-serving act. When there are so many lies being spread by powerful men about gay people and their families, choosing to remain silent is a powerful political act of appeasement to all those who vilify us daily. Gay celebrities who remain silent during these tumultuous times are irresponsible and further the taboo and stigma that plagues gay people. They do not deserve any kind of respect or empathy from gay activists who have brought the freedoms as gay people they surely already enjoy and take for granted. Let's bring them all out even if it means bringing them out kicking and screaming.
I really must agree with the two posters who think it's invasion of privacy to 'out' other people against their will. Jodie Foster is well within her rights as a citizen of our nation to insist that her sexuality is her own business. She might be a lesbian, she might be asexual, she might be straight--whatever she is lies outside her career. Anyway, the less we know about celebrities, the easier it is to view their work without any biases; just look at what's happened to Tom Cruise. The same phenomenon applies to knowing the sexuality of other famous people.
If someone in the limelight chooses to make their sexuality known and to celebrate it, that's great, too, because those individuals do so with full knowledge of the consequences and accept them. It could be very unhealthful for others, though, when their 'outing' is thrust upon them.
Of course, the alternative, especially for politicians, religious leaders, CEOs, etc., is that if a 'sex scandal' erupts, they face horrible shame and taunting, even gleeful accusations about their hypocrisy in having kept their sexuality private, even from spouses (though we don't usually know--and don't need to know--how complicit the spouse is in the gay person's double life).
It's all very well for people to decide what 'ought to be,' regarding our society's level of acceptance and tolerance and what level actually exists. Trying to force that 'ought to be' world on others who don't wish to face the realities of having their sexual preferences 'outed' in the world THEY actually live in, is selfish, cruel, and equally as self-righteously dogmatic as any Foley or Haggerd out there in the REAL world.
I think celebrities have a right to their privacy and it's up to them if they want to make public their sexual preference. I enjoy Perez Hilton's blog. His comments are very entertaining and I agree with most of his postings. But I wouldn't badger celebrities to come out because it's their own personal business plus I really don't care. I'm not a gay person so maybe its a bigger issue to those who belong to that orientation.
Perez is simply indulgent fluffy entertainment and sometimes you just want to have a taste of some brutal truth. His opinions are merely opinions. Perez is a delight to have on the Internet when you just want to have some fun. I don't take him too seriously.
I've been curious about this for a while now: Why is it so important to know whether someone is gay or straight?
The comments above show a shallow understanding of power, evil and responsibility in this particular matter. It is important for people in the public eye to come out if they are gay. Why? Because we live in a time when gay people are vilified and scapegoated and all based on lies and stereotypes. To remain silent by using the privacy excuse is irresponsible, indefensible and cowardly.
If you are a gay celebrity or politician who has ever associated with anti-gay forces or actively promoted gay stereotypes then you DESERVE to be outed as a gay person. It is a moral imperative of other gay people who do the battles and who fight the fight.
One has the freedom to be as private as one wishes, but one is not free of the ramifications of such a choice. Those who hide behind the privacy excuse and remain silent rather than using their notoriety to make at least a small positive contribution to the Gay Lesbian Civil Rights Movement by coming out deserve nothing but contempt and ridicule by those who fight on their behalf every day. And be assured those celebrities who choose to remain closeted do so while enjoying the greater freedoms and acceptance that has been won for them by the courageous out gay men and women that have come before them.
It is a moral issue. It is a matter of honesty. It is a matter of responsibility. If you are a gay celebrity and choose to remains silent about the enormously important civil rights movement for gay people running its course this very day in the U.S., then I am compelled to call you out. Privacy be damned.
All gay people, whether they are out or in, enjoy the social freedoms and acceptance that gay activist have won for them over the last 50 years. To take advantage of those freedoms without taking responsibility to further them or at the very least vocally support them... well that is indefensible. Again, privacy is a pathetic excuse for this sort of moral apathy.
One can keep private about all sort so things in one's life, we are all free to make choices to be private when it comes to any matter we so choose. But it is not the right of the individual to claim they are beyond judgment by their peers when they choose to remain closeted/private/silent in the national conversation currently taking place in this country. And that judgment is easily that these closeted celebrities are moral cowards undeserving of compassion or empathy or privacy.
Just as they have the right to try to be as private as they so choose, we have the right of free speech. I say the privacy excuse is a load of crap used by those who wish to enjoy the benefits of the Gay Lesbian Civil Rights Movement while not being inconvenienced by reality and responsibility. But as we know from history, there are always those who do nothing even when their voices could have made a difference.
But as history also shows us, it is acceptable to call those who appease through silence out. Call them out Perez! Call them out!
No, Patrick. What's immoral is when one person decides for another person how they should live. This applies to people who feel they should have something to say about another's sexuality and it also applies to people who feel that individuals have no right to privacy in their personal lives (yes, even celebrities). And when you force 'out' another person, for whatever reason, you are immorally violating their privacy. You may not have broken a law, but you have committed a gravely immoral and unethical act. Also, the presumptuousness of such an act is breathtakingly arrogant in that you cannot possibly know what unintended consequences, and serious harm, may result from your sanctimonious 'outing' of another person. The entirety of their life circumstances may not be apparent to you, regardless of how much trivial celebrity gossip you may consume.
I'm queer. I'm out. But you're a silly and insecure little imbecile if you think it's any of your business.
Dayumn I don't want to know if Wentworth Miller is Gay! Man he's sooooo cute! We ladies want to continue to believe he's single, hetero & looking! For a woman that is.
Remember, they're almost 300 million people in America. According to US stats - 100 million reported last year alone that they were single(without a spouse OR partner, female or male). That said, still why can't the beautiful Queen Latifah find a decent man....she says she wants to get married. I think in Hollywood & High-Society, people are very bored these days. So many people are trying out different things(gay, straight, bi-sexual etc.) that THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS ANYMORE!
I heard that Eddie Murphy is REALLY GAY! Apparently there is a rumour that his wife caught him in bed with another man...a famous singer.The reason for the divorce. Apparently he's liason with Scary Spice is supposedly a cover-up.
Remember he picked up a transvetite hooker a few years ago in a red light district - he claimed he was lost & giving a 'lady' a ride home...yeah right!~!
Does anyone know if this Eddie Murphy rumour is TRUE or just more nasty gossip?
I have never heard of Neil Patrick Harris crusading against gay rights or aligning himself with any anti-gay groups. In fact, in the past I've read a number of articles where it was fairly common knowledge that he was gay. This was really no big surprise. Which explains his 'yeah, so what?' response to the media curiousity.
Regardless of one's celebrity status, coming out is a major step in a gay or lesbian's life. There are many personal factors that drive the 'when' decision, most importantly safety and security. Those in the gay community who feel they have a right to decide for others when they should come out or not are, in my opinion, no different than the anti-gay groups deciding that everyone should stay IN the closet or the pro-lifers deciding what you can or can't do with your body. The freedom to live your life as you choose is the issue, either way.
It would be fantastic if all GLBT people were able to live their life openly. But for many, that's still not the case. Live your life the way you want ... and leave the major decisions in someone else's life up to them.
I heard that Diddy, Busta Rhymmes and Jah-rule are also gay or on the down-low. Can anybody confirm these rumors?
I think people should stop fooling society - Society, specially the women they get involve with have the right to know and not be dupped.
Thanks for sheding some light.
I realize people have the right to privacy, however, if you don't want attention, don't get famous. If you don't want scrutiny, don't live your life in the public eye. All that, 'doing it for the craft' is bs. You wanted fame and fortune, now you have it. I don't advocate being mean, but you can't cry foul when people are interested, and you pursued that lifestyle.
P. Diddy allegedly has sexually experimented with the opposite sex on a few occasions. He was also seen at a few Gay dance clubs in the past - in Miami & New York to a name a few.
Busta Rhymes? why would anyone think that? He's as heterosexual macho as they come. No?
Eddie Murphy? That's what the gossip mills say. But why be married & be with so many ladies?
Ja Rule? Naaa No Way! Like Busta he definitely likes the ladies.
We might as well suspect Jay-Z, 50 Cent,Omari & Nelly while we're at it.
But for all these macho married men, rappers & actors who are in the closet please think of the female spouses in your lives.
It's not worth their lives just because you want to live yours! Don't Be Selfish!
Faggoty assed dick sucker.
Silly faggot.
I completely agree with Debbie. Since when has someone's sexuality become so important? It seems that it's only important to people whose entire lives revolve around it; these people are also usually the extremely conspicuous constituents of the LGBT demographic.
Perhaps they're just jealous that they can't seem to blend in as well in society, and therefore, are attempting to forcefully instill their isolated circumstances on those who are comfortable with who they are, but don't find sexuality all that interesting?
Just a hypothesis.
I don't get why anyone would be interested or care what others do in an adult consensual relationship. Titillating stories make news, news has ads, and ads generate money. Money makes the world go around. Anyway, I guess it is the hunger for gossip in our society or the tsk, tsking about a celebrity being put down or made to appear that their lifestyle is aberrant or so much different than the tsk, tsk'er that it makes him/her feel better.
The preacher just outed is going to be a media frenzy - why? See above.
Heterosexuals must get a big laugh out of all these 'silly nelly' arguements about out activist gays vs the privatcy of closeted gays who are celebrities, politians, religious leaders and others. Why can't we keep our eyes on the ball??. If it was not for the tyranny of some heterosexuals, militant/activist gays would not be necessary nor would there be shame among closeted gays. Mutual consenting gay adults should be free to live any way they want(open or closeted). But, for now, gays can be our own worst enemy. If you are an out activist gay, keep fighting for equality, it is a human rights issue. If you choose to be a closeted gay for some reason or other(there are many), fight for gay equality in a 'closeted' way at least. If you are, in fact, gay (open or closeted) and appease the oppressors by agreeing or encouraging the vilifying and degrading of gays then you should be exposed and criticized. Let's stop the 'cat' fights , which only gives entertainment value to bigoted straights, and organize for the battle of our lives!!
Perez is doing his job. I think some straight people just are showing their homophobia they just don't want to know their favourite star could be gay. Its also annoying when straights say being gay is no big deal. YES IT IS, when we are discriminated for being gay we could lose our jobs, housing, education. There is a lot of homophobia STILL OUT THERE. And judging by the negative comments on this site we still have a long way to go. I am tired of this BS.
Perez should continue outing these closted gay stars especially ones like Jodie Foster she's such a disgrace.
Does someone's being gay change or alter your life? As far as I'm concerned, who cares! With all the horrible things that are going on in the world today, why are you so consumed with who may or may not be gay?
There are far bigger issues that you could be spending your energy on.
Is there no room for discretion outside of the closet?
Speaking from experience I believe closeted gay men are a danger to themselves and to society. First of all, denial of your inner self is incredibly unhealthy both physically and mentally. Second gay men who are closeted usually try to mask their sexuality by getting married and having kids, meanwhile the urge for nurturing their true sexuality must be dealt with and often results in covert and annonymous sexual relationships with other men. Gay bathouses, cruising spots and gay chat rooms all are readily available to closeted gay men.
Annonymous promiscuity is dangerous if undetected and often disastrous when it is finally detected. For people in positions of power and authority their exists an even darker side to being closeted. As in the case of Mark Foley, many politicians and lawmakers who are gay but are supported by right wing, christian, conservative constituents often carry their fear of being outed to hypocritical lows by supporting laws and public policy that make life difficult for all gay, lesbian and transgendered people.
My favorite rationale for outing all gays and lesbians is simple. Ask your neighborhood Evangelicals...'would you rather find out I am gay, before or after I marry your daughter and have three kids'?
In retrospect I would have rather been outed as a 'Fag' in high school and sufferd the humiliation and abuse that happens to 'sissies' in high school and gone through my early adulthood with everyone knowing I was a total 'Pussy' than to be sitting here at 40 realizing I have wasted 20 years of my adult life as a closeted gay man.
Since 'Outing' myself I have felt much more at peace with the world and with myself. Althoug I can never repair the hurt and dissapointment this has casue my ex-wife and kids I can also never reclaim the 20 years of 'what might have been' had I been outed as a teen. If I had to do it all over again I would have proclaimed to the world as early as 14 that I was and alwasy would be gay. If any of my kids came to me and said they were gay I woul dencourage them to be open and honest with their friends and family and take love from those willing to give it and ignnore al others.
Having been raised a Catholic and then becoming a 'born again' Christian at 24 that was the biggest impediment for me to be open and honest about being gay. When I finaly acknowledged to everyone I knew that I was gay, I sudenly realized I no longer needed or wanted to be associated with any christian church. I am now a well adjusted happy and content gay pagan man. I have no use Evangelicals, biggots or Gay Republicans.
The life expectancy of the average American male is approx. 76 years. If he is a smoker, that diminishes by 10 years to 66 years old. Thats roughly about 15 percent of his life shortened. (And they make such a big deal about smokers.)
However, if he's 'gay,' by virtue of his 'alternative life style,' his life expectancy is only 45 years old. Thats damn near a 40 percent cut. Thats HUGE. Yet, you don't hear any of the media darlings shrieking about it. Why not?
However you may want to paint it, sodomites are still sodomoites. Most of the world, with very few exceptions, still see that sort of behavior as abhorent perversion. Sodomite relationships do not parallel traditional marraige and are a threat to society.
Its a simple equation, really. The product of a tradtional marriage between a man and a woman is progeny, children, little people. On the other hand, the product of a homosexual/lesbian relationship is disease, destruction and death.
Its not rocket science to figure out. So, you can all come out of your closets and prance around like a bunch of pixies. In the final analysis, no matter how much lipstick you put on that pig, its still a pig. And you're all still a bunch of sodomites. There's nothing happy or gay about it.
Why didn't you mention Tom Cruise.....afraid he will sue you???
Richard Simmons is not gay. Neither is Clay Aiken. I don't know about those others on that bizarre *list*. Nor do I care. I think all the people who are broadcasting who they have sex with are disgusting. Just live your lives, people! I do NOT want to know the sorid details. Peace :)
Ummm, I thought everyone KNEW Jodie Foster was gay..??
We are society. Any activity or action undertaken by an individual is open to the comment and/or criticism of any other member of our society. Freedom of Speech, remember? If one wishes to pretend that an activity they might engage in will remain secret, prepare for the day that you may need to answer to those around you. It is human nature to despise and fear what is not understood. Hiding from your peers creates suspicion and does nothing to despel that fear. We are wrong for demonizing those who we don't understand, just as we are also our own worst enemy by hiding in the 'closet'. Love who you will and remember that acceptance is easier when one is honest.
Holy cow...you...you...you mean Clay Aiken is a pole smoker!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhh say it is'nt so!!! whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
People say a person's sexuality is a private matter. It
would be a private matter if it were a private matter. As
long as homosexuals are persecuted it is not a private
matter.
It's always interesting to read straight people talking about how sexual orientation is a 'private' matter, and that it doesn't matter whether someone is gay or not, it's no one's business, etc. Those comments always send a mixed message. It sounds supportive, but also says 'Don't worry, it's OK to be ashamed of your sexuality. You have a lot to be ashamed of.' It's a big double standard.
As a straight person, do you keep your sexual orientation private? Do you avoid mentioning the gender of your spouse/lover? Do you make sure not to talk about your weekend activities at work so that you keep your 'private' life private? Do you forego wearing a wedding/engagement ring so that no one will have to know about your 'private' sexual orientation? Questions to think about.
As far as whether sexual orientation should be a 'private' matter, it's complicated. There are definite risks to coming out as queer - you could lose your job, lose your housing, lose friends and family who are 'disgusted' by your sexuality. (And to the people who say 'Gay sex is gross', just remember that straight sex can be viewed as pretty gross to gay people.)
At the same time, homosexuality will continue to be stigmatized as long as the majority of public figures who are gay pretend they're not. Being closeted is not 'being private' - it is pretending to be straight. In this society, everyone is considered straight until proven otherwise. So not coming out is pretending to be something you're not.
If all queer people came out, there would be a lot less stigma. At least 10% of the population is gay, and maybe some of the people who are so 'grossed out' by gay people (including several posters here) would be a little less narrow-minded if they knew their sister or cousin or pop star that they worship was gay. I know my family has gone from being virulently homophobic to being extremely accepting of gay people since I came out. It's easy to be judgemental and cruel to nameless, faceless gay people, but it's a lot harder to be that cruel to someone you know and love.
Coming out is never easy, and sometimes very painful. It's hard to judge people's personal choices, because coming out is a big risk. As a celebrity, it is likely that you will lose income and status by coming out in this day and age, but the more people that do it the more normal it will be and the less risk of losing anything by coming out.
Bottom line: props to Neil Patrick Harris for coming out with grace and class. Hopefully more celebrities will do the same.
And who didn't already know that Doogie was gay? Please, like we haven’t all thought it. But still it should be up to him--the individual--to come out. His sexuality should not be an issue. It might be important if he were an anti-gay married minister doing drugs with a male prostitute. That behavior should be publicly exposed. In general though, it's up to the individual if he or she wishes to discuss his or her sexuality or not. Sexual orientation has no bearing on talent. Stop the outings…. It’s wrong.
Well - first of all as any farmer will tell you, normal mammals are not heterosexual or homosexual. They are sexual. Especially the young ones really don't care who or what they fool around with. If this artificial division continues we're going to have homosexuals shunning other homosexuals for having heterosexual affairs. 'They're not GAY enough!' Get over it. All sorts of strange relations are really quite normal. It's society that sets the limits for various reasons, not biology.
The desire for sex is universal in normal mammals. Sure most of them eventually figure out it's more fun with members of the opposite gender - but members of the opposite gender aren't always available or cooperative. 'Couples' regardless of gender who choose to partner certainly deserve protection and legal rights but it is their choice to publicize this partnership or not to publicize it. The question I have is not 'who is Gay' because under the right circumstances most would be at some time in their lives if there were no stigma involved, but rather 'Who cares?' And who should care??? We're a bunch of voyeurs it appears. We want to look into everyone's business even when it's none of our business.
And while we're at it government has no business being involved in 'marriage' anyway. Let's strive for legal civil unions between any two people who desire them, that provide for medical care, hospital visitation, inheritance and so on, and let the churches deal with marriage and religious commitment.
I have long since contended that humans as sexual beings should find a philosophy that fits the profile. this would cut down on sexual crime, 'extra population' a great deal of distinctive contrivance, and ease up on the clothing industry, who also press the biosphere with all the do dads and gee gaws. In fact if we could get it right about being a species and seeing if there were a non violent goal and purpose to life, most of the worlds problems would be on there way out. Who cares who has sex with whom? does it bother you, are you religionists passing judgement? Life is special and violent competition isnt. the joy of being can be shared with whomever one chooses. if the onus is off the rush and the guilt are too.
'Gay sex is gross'...
Is 'straight' anal sex also gross and a perversion? sex is sex.we are animals after all. get over it and do what makes you feel good as long as with consenting adults. Also, unles there are extrodinary circumstances, private lives deserves the respect of privacy
Why should anyone care about what people do in their personal lives! I am so tired of those who flaunt their sexuality. I don't care. Get over it.
Kevin Spacey gay? Never!
But please tell me why it's anyone else's business if a celebrity is gay. Should the choice of coming out be up to the individual star and not to some crusading lunatic who could ruin a star's life and reputation with an accusation?
So I say to all these people who think they can out anyone they like, mind your own damn business and keep your mouths shut.
I don't care who's gay or who's straight...AS LONG AS they're not telling me that one is better than the other...especially as long as they're not trying to amend my Constitution, or limit my options.
THAT'S the line in the sand.
its not right to out anyone for any reason. im gay, not closeted but I don't go telling people im gay. it doesn't matter unless im looking to date them.
Unless they are in close proximity to you, why would you care what someone does with their genitals?
Yes Kevin Spacey is gay. Spacey's homosexuality is legendary as is his refusal to come out. Spacey is the same guy that two years ago lied about trying to pick up a male hustler in a London park. Spacey first said the guy tried to rob him. Next, Spacey lied and changed his story saying he tripped over his dog. The tabloids had a field day because everyone knew what's he doing 4:00am in the mornning in a London Park. In London cruising for gay sex in the public parks is well known.
And to the straight people on this board its easy for you guys to say 'it doesn't matter.' Of course it MATTERS. Its gay visability and it shows young gay people and straights that gay people SHOULD NOT HIDE. TO HIDE MEANS TO APPROVE BEING ASHAMED OF YOUR SEXUALITY. Sexuality is MORE THEN JUST SEX!!! And I wish straight people would WAKE UP and realize that! Heterosexism is so powerful in society. We see heterosexuality everywhere on TV, in the movies, on billboards and in magazines. Where is the homosexuality? Where do our lives fit in? That's the friggin BS we get from society that our lives aren't as important or don't matter. AND OUR LIVES DO MATTER. But I think it just demonstrates your homophobia! There is indeed a double standard. Heterosexuality is the assumption society places on everyone until proven otherwise.Some straight people need to wake up some of your heroes are gay. A lot of heterosexual men looked up to Neil Patrick Harris he is an Icon and now its great that another young gay man came out of the closet. I am so proud of TR Knight, Lance Bass, and Neil because they are all YOUNG GAY MEN UNDER THE AGE OF 34. They didn't wait until they were old farts like Ian McKellan and Richard Chamberlain. When society sees young gay men out and proud it is POWERFUL it opens people's minds. These talented young men should be applauded they are part of a NEW GENERATION that understands gay people should not hide being gay. Its even more powerful that they came out because they ARE YOUNG MEN. Society has an intense hatred for the gay male especially the young gay male.
If a celebrity is in the closet, isn't it possible that their family doesn't know either? Maybe they don't want to anger their family, same reason non-celebrities don't tell anyone. What business is it of anyone else's what your sexual orientation is?
Everyone is making good arguments for why it is a good idea to come out. However, this does not justify FORCING people to come out whether they want to or not. It's not anyone else's business or responsibility to out someone else. Having a general discussion about why it is a bad idea or dangerous or whatever to remain in the closet is useful, and maybe it will encourage more people to be more forthcoming about their sexuality, but it's no one else's responsibility to force someone to do something they don't want to do. Saying that you would have been happier if you were outed when you were 20 rather than be closeted for 20 years is unfairly placing the blame on other people. No one was stopping you from coming out except your religion, as you mentioned (this is in reply to a specific post). Whether someone else did it for you by teasing you or you did it on your own in order to be honest, it's still coming out of the closet. Also being in the closet can mean many things. Not everyone who is in the closet gets married and has kids. Some people date secretly, etc. They don't lead double lives, they just don't announce their sexuality to the world. It just depends, I would think.
Wentworth Miller isnt gay.
Quite frankly when you enter the arena of public life, you voluntarily give up your privacy for fame and fortune. When you become a role model you need to live up to that role honestly, or the press will catch you in your deceptions, whatever they may be.
When you are a male star taking your 'personal trainer' on weekend trips to Mexico, the press is going to call you out, just the same as whether that 'trainer' is a male or female.
You want that spotlight, you better accept all that goes with it. As a celebrity, your life doesn't end with the $20 million paycheck and the red carpet premier.
The arguments for coming out are powerful, but sexuality and lifestyle is a private matter and it should be up to the individual to 'come out' when they are ready. Perez Hilton may write an entertaining column, but there is an underlying cruelty when he forces gays to openly acknowledge that they are gay when they are not ready. Then, when he has done so, he gloats. This is right? This is honest? This is moral?
The entertainment field tends to attract gays. Having worked in it (radio/tv), I would estimate about 50 percent of the folks I worked with were gay. Very few were out to the public. However, internally, we all knew who was gay and who wasn't. It was not a big deal. I think this is the way it probably is for most actors and actresses--the folks they work with know them and know their orientation. They are accepted for who they are in their main environment. When they are ready for their public to know, they will come out. Who gives any of us the right to tell a gay artist, entertainer, politician, musician, Joe next door, that they HAVE to come out and be a moral poster boy/girl for gays everywhere!???
I'm not married, never have been and never plan to be even tho I'm heterosexual. Many folks have thought that I am gay. Does it bother me? No. Have I been treated differently? No. I don't go around talking about who I'm having sex with, who I'm dating, what we are doing, my private life is just that. Why should a gay person be denied the same privilege of privacy? Why should a gay person be a poster boy/girl for militant gays like Perez? I say each person is entitled to their privacy as long as they are not hurting others. And each person should be allowed to come out when they are ready.
It's NOT RIGHT to 'out' someone. It should be up to them and them alone. Anyone who does this is not caring for that person, is being a gossip monger who only thinks of they're selfish interest over the other persons privacy. How hurtful and adholescent.
And why are some weighing human beings on they're sexual preference anyway? Does that determine a human being, what sex they sleep with, come on! How childish. I value a human being on they're character and what and who they are and what they contribute to society and those around me. Not if they like innies or outties.
Grow up and be responsible. See beyond your own selfishness and want to gossip and let people live they're lives as they will. There are far more important and valued things in this world than tattle tail-ing on something as personal choice as this. If your so into being free... then let those others choose they're own freedom, why should you then??
Heterosexuality is considered the 'norm' for sexual orientation so with that cultural and political blessings comes 'privilege,” just as privilege comes with being white and male. Heteros can display their sexuality openingly without fear of discrimination, recrimination, or worst. Is it right? The answer would be most definitely, no. But, it is the world we live in.
A multitude could come out of the closet and some things will never change. There may be less overt discrimination and some battles will be won. However, the real war of total acceptance will probably never be won, it least, not in my lifetime or my grandchildren's. It is sad but probably true.
The vilification of and discrimination against gays will continue unless there is a cultural shift in peoples thinking, in the definition of what is 'normal' and what is not.
I support gays who wish to come out and those who wish to remain closeted. I find it intellectually dishonest of gays who feel they have the right to 'out' someone because of their political agendas or their political holy crusades. And how is this any different than some proselytizing minister who condemns gays and denies them their 'rights' because of his political agenda or holy crusade?
Celebrities work to entertain us through whatever art form they choose but they do not owe the public their lives. Being a celebrity DOES NOT make you fair game for every innuendo or mean-spirited attack that anymore wishes to heap upon you at his or her leisure. Yeah, even celebrities are quaranteed rights and equal protection under the Constitution.
Perez Hilton, is not on a holy crusade nor is he a political activist. He is a gossip blogger who knows this is a hot button issue that will attract people to his blog. The more hits he gets on his blog the more he can charge for his advertisements. Economics 101, folks not Political Science 101.
First of all, about this 'list'... it is not ok to spread lies about people. WHAT the lie is, isn't the point. It's just not cool. Period. That 'celebrities' have to put up with blogging pigs like this perez idiot and tabloids who purposely make up stories in the name of MONEY and greed under the guise of free speach is disgusting to me. There are names on that list who are most definately straight(Wentworth Miller and Clay Aiken just to name two). It makes me furious that malicious people like 'perez' are being allowed to lie and mis-characterize people in this way. In the case of 'perez', it's to garner more hits to his blog, thus he is able to charge advertisers more. I also think he has some sort of deal worked out with the tabloids, whereby they sort of 'feed' each other. It's sickening. Please don't buy tabloids. Please don't visit 'gossip' blogs. They're both filled with lies and are just using your morbid curiousity for their own financial gain. They will say and do ANYTHING, no matter how malicious and false it is, to get the public's attention! They're hateful and hurtful with ZERO conscience. They're not only hurtful to 'famous' people, but also to society. Lets try being kind to each other. Lets refuse to accept mis-information and fabricated 'stories' that use REAL people's names, all for some sort of sick entertainment! What is going on in these dark corners of the 'media' is absolutely horrifying and unacceptable! Lets put an end to it. please.
About 'outing' gay people... it needs to stop. This is my opinion... it's not homophobic, it's just my honest opinion. I think men sodomizing each other is disgusting. Alot of people think so. That's WHY this behavior is in the 'closet' in the first place. In my opinion it needs to stay in the closet. I can't help it, my view of these people changes when they reveal their behavior. What they're doing is not natural. You need look no farther than sixth grade health class to know what nature intended as 'normal', healthy behavior. Boy's sperm meets girl's egg. End of story. Anything else is depraved behavior. Of course it's up to the individual to choose their behavior. Yes, I believe for the vast majority of males who sodomize each other, it's a CHOICE they make. The people I consider 'born gay', the gay community refers to as 'transgendered'(basically, a woman trapped in a man's body or vice-versa). For transgendered people, it's not their choice and I absolutely accept and embrace them without queston or bias. For those not transgendered, I think it's a conscious lifestyle choice they've made, and it's based on perverse sexual urges which most 'normal' people can control and know to be wrong. In other words, for an out of control sexual addict... who better to have non-stop loose and free sex with, than someone who also thinks with their penis. So. They make their choice, and if they also choose(whether voluntarily or by force) to broadcast their private sexual behavior, then they will also have to live with the reaction of the public.
I guess this post is kinda old...but whatever, I'm going to share anyway.
I completely agree with those of you who have said that 'outing' is wrong, sexuality is a private issue, etc.
And those of you who disagree...I don't know...I have a lot of trouble thinking that you have any kind of credibility, or that you should have any say in the matter at all. Its difficult (if not impossible) for me to believe that any of you in favor of outing people have ever been in a situation where coming out would be an issue. I don't mean to stereotype here...but in my experience the only people who are in favor of outing people are gay men/women who: (a) are blatantly gay (that is to say, *so* obviously gay that there wouldn't be any point in denying it), or (b) come from exceptionally open-minded families, so it was never difficult for them to come out.
And if anybody wants to question my credibility: My boyfriend is one of these people. He comes from a very open minded family, and has been out to them (and the rest of the world) since he was 14. I, on the other hand, come from a fairly conservative family, and have therefore only come out to my parents (in addition to my close friends). I haven't been able to build up the courage to tell the rest of my (extended) family...and not because I think that they *would* have a negative reaction...but because I don't know how they would react. I'm sure that they would accept it...maybe even embrace it...but the uncertainty is just too great to bring it up just yet.
It bothers me that people like Perez Hilton have a complete disregard for situations like mine. While I can see where he's coming from in terms of his 'celebrities are public figures' argument, I would just like some acknowledgement of the fact that its not easy for some people to come out. And to act like its 'no big deal' is arrogant, ignorant, and insensitive.
Do I wish that homosexuality could be a non-issue? Absolutely. But I think that outing people is only going to breed more fear, rather than bring about acceptance.
Leslie Siegel has said this a million times about Perez Hilton ... Why doesn't he use his real name like Leslie Siegel does? I think he is capitalizing on something that is private but he should stick to other forms of media because he is not the blogger queen we see him as... His last name means Laundry room, so what does that say! I know he says he is gay, but still, he should not be nasty and they should throw his butt in jail like his alter ego name Paris Hilton because you cannot steal photos and gossip from other sources without permission, but he can still have freedom of speech, but wouldn't most want to hear what Leslie Siegel might have to say? Probably not! Please spare Leslie Siegel any bad comments!
There is no other way for Homosexuals and their female colleagues lesbian and others the so call love in the flesh. To live in peace and enjoy equal status with the so call straight people. First and foremost you have to get rid of the Bible, yes! in that book it predicts your doom, makes no difference how you interpret or translate the strong language in the Bible, it will always come back to hunt you. That includes all Gays or straight people who transgress against the law.
Get together and try to convince the legal system, the Book is a hate Book and it keeps your kind or your people from the pursued of happiness, so stated in the US Constitution. Convince the US Supreme Court to Ban publication and a crime to possess the Book with a prison term.
The Russian kicked God from the soviet Union for 75 years, and it came back to hunt them. You might convince some of the people some of the time but you will never convince all the people all the time....Try to Get rid of the Bible or your life style is doomed my friend!!
There are many reasons for queer or bisexual celebrities to be open about their sexuality. First and foremost is because they are ROLE MODELS who we respect, admire and mimic.
Secondly, because of the continuing hate crimes, fear, discrimination and lack of civil rights that non-celebrities queer people deal with everyday. Those include the denial of the right to marry who they love, lack of equality in state and federal tax laws, lack of the right to adopt a child and create a family, etc...
Does anyone remember Matthew Sheppard, the young man who was beaten to death for propositioning two homophobic men? Rather than take his flirtation as a compliment, they chose to hammer the life out of him and tie him fence at the side of a road, for everyone to see. A few months ago, 14yo Lawrence King was shot in the head and murdered while at school for being queer.
Leaders, teachers and celebrities guide our definition of what is or isn't acceptable in society as we grow from infants into adulthood. If these people whom we admire so much were to all come out, it might educate others. It might make those who live in fear or ignorance of sexual diversity open their minds and hearts enough to see that love and affection of ANY KIND is acceptable and needed for the happiness of everyone on this planet. Im working on a documentary film which strive to convey this message: www.faeriefilm.com
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