People News
By Stone Martindale Nov 4, 2006, 16:08 GMT
Perez Hilton outs more celebrity gays in media
And Also
Similar articles
- Goldman's family asks for mass boycott: O.J. Simpson
- Kate Winslet hopes for more children
- 'Grey's Anatomy' Pompeo to marry fellow Bostonian
- Has Mel B 'scared' Eddie away?
- Nicole Richie smacks down PageSix gastric bypass reports
Latest Headlines in People
- 1. Schwarzenegger hit with lien over back taxes
- 2. US Golfer Tiger Woods reported in 'serious condition'
- 3. In Pictures: 'Bob Hope USO Pre-Thanksgiving event'
- 4. In Pictures: 'Al Gore Promotes his new Book'
- 5. In Pictures: 'Charlotte Gainsbourg Switches on the Champs-Elysees Avenue Christmas Lights in Paris'
Older Talkback
Is there no room for discretion outside of the closet?
Speaking from experience I believe closeted gay men are a danger to themselves and to society. First of all, denial of your inner self is incredibly unhealthy both physically and mentally. Second gay men who are closeted usually try to mask their sexuality by getting married and having kids, meanwhile the urge for nurturing their true sexuality must be dealt with and often results in covert and annonymous sexual relationships with other men. Gay bathouses, cruising spots and gay chat rooms all are readily available to closeted gay men.
Annonymous promiscuity is dangerous if undetected and often disastrous when it is finally detected. For people in positions of power and authority their exists an even darker side to being closeted. As in the case of Mark Foley, many politicians and lawmakers who are gay but are supported by right wing, christian, conservative constituents often carry their fear of being outed to hypocritical lows by supporting laws and public policy that make life difficult for all gay, lesbian and transgendered people.
My favorite rationale for outing all gays and lesbians is simple. Ask your neighborhood Evangelicals...'would you rather find out I am gay, before or after I marry your daughter and have three kids'?
In retrospect I would have rather been outed as a 'Fag' in high school and sufferd the humiliation and abuse that happens to 'sissies' in high school and gone through my early adulthood with everyone knowing I was a total 'Pussy' than to be sitting here at 40 realizing I have wasted 20 years of my adult life as a closeted gay man.
Since 'Outing' myself I have felt much more at peace with the world and with myself. Althoug I can never repair the hurt and dissapointment this has casue my ex-wife and kids I can also never reclaim the 20 years of 'what might have been' had I been outed as a teen. If I had to do it all over again I would have proclaimed to the world as early as 14 that I was and alwasy would be gay. If any of my kids came to me and said they were gay I woul dencourage them to be open and honest with their friends and family and take love from those willing to give it and ignnore al others.
Having been raised a Catholic and then becoming a 'born again' Christian at 24 that was the biggest impediment for me to be open and honest about being gay. When I finaly acknowledged to everyone I knew that I was gay, I sudenly realized I no longer needed or wanted to be associated with any christian church. I am now a well adjusted happy and content gay pagan man. I have no use Evangelicals, biggots or Gay Republicans.
The life expectancy of the average American male is approx. 76 years. If he is a smoker, that diminishes by 10 years to 66 years old. Thats roughly about 15 percent of his life shortened. (And they make such a big deal about smokers.)
However, if he's 'gay,' by virtue of his 'alternative life style,' his life expectancy is only 45 years old. Thats damn near a 40 percent cut. Thats HUGE. Yet, you don't hear any of the media darlings shrieking about it. Why not?
However you may want to paint it, sodomites are still sodomoites. Most of the world, with very few exceptions, still see that sort of behavior as abhorent perversion. Sodomite relationships do not parallel traditional marraige and are a threat to society.
Its a simple equation, really. The product of a tradtional marriage between a man and a woman is progeny, children, little people. On the other hand, the product of a homosexual/lesbian relationship is disease, destruction and death.
Its not rocket science to figure out. So, you can all come out of your closets and prance around like a bunch of pixies. In the final analysis, no matter how much lipstick you put on that pig, its still a pig. And you're all still a bunch of sodomites. There's nothing happy or gay about it.
Why didn't you mention Tom Cruise.....afraid he will sue you???
Richard Simmons is not gay. Neither is Clay Aiken. I don't know about those others on that bizarre *list*. Nor do I care. I think all the people who are broadcasting who they have sex with are disgusting. Just live your lives, people! I do NOT want to know the sorid details. Peace :)
Ummm, I thought everyone KNEW Jodie Foster was gay..??
We are society. Any activity or action undertaken by an individual is open to the comment and/or criticism of any other member of our society. Freedom of Speech, remember? If one wishes to pretend that an activity they might engage in will remain secret, prepare for the day that you may need to answer to those around you. It is human nature to despise and fear what is not understood. Hiding from your peers creates suspicion and does nothing to despel that fear. We are wrong for demonizing those who we don't understand, just as we are also our own worst enemy by hiding in the 'closet'. Love who you will and remember that acceptance is easier when one is honest.
Holy cow...you...you...you mean Clay Aiken is a pole smoker!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhh say it is'nt so!!! whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
People say a person's sexuality is a private matter. It
would be a private matter if it were a private matter. As
long as homosexuals are persecuted it is not a private
matter.
It's always interesting to read straight people talking about how sexual orientation is a 'private' matter, and that it doesn't matter whether someone is gay or not, it's no one's business, etc. Those comments always send a mixed message. It sounds supportive, but also says 'Don't worry, it's OK to be ashamed of your sexuality. You have a lot to be ashamed of.' It's a big double standard.
As a straight person, do you keep your sexual orientation private? Do you avoid mentioning the gender of your spouse/lover? Do you make sure not to talk about your weekend activities at work so that you keep your 'private' life private? Do you forego wearing a wedding/engagement ring so that no one will have to know about your 'private' sexual orientation? Questions to think about.
As far as whether sexual orientation should be a 'private' matter, it's complicated. There are definite risks to coming out as queer - you could lose your job, lose your housing, lose friends and family who are 'disgusted' by your sexuality. (And to the people who say 'Gay sex is gross', just remember that straight sex can be viewed as pretty gross to gay people.)
At the same time, homosexuality will continue to be stigmatized as long as the majority of public figures who are gay pretend they're not. Being closeted is not 'being private' - it is pretending to be straight. In this society, everyone is considered straight until proven otherwise. So not coming out is pretending to be something you're not.
If all queer people came out, there would be a lot less stigma. At least 10% of the population is gay, and maybe some of the people who are so 'grossed out' by gay people (including several posters here) would be a little less narrow-minded if they knew their sister or cousin or pop star that they worship was gay. I know my family has gone from being virulently homophobic to being extremely accepting of gay people since I came out. It's easy to be judgemental and cruel to nameless, faceless gay people, but it's a lot harder to be that cruel to someone you know and love.
Coming out is never easy, and sometimes very painful. It's hard to judge people's personal choices, because coming out is a big risk. As a celebrity, it is likely that you will lose income and status by coming out in this day and age, but the more people that do it the more normal it will be and the less risk of losing anything by coming out.
Bottom line: props to Neil Patrick Harris for coming out with grace and class. Hopefully more celebrities will do the same.
And who didn't already know that Doogie was gay? Please, like we haven’t all thought it. But still it should be up to him--the individual--to come out. His sexuality should not be an issue. It might be important if he were an anti-gay married minister doing drugs with a male prostitute. That behavior should be publicly exposed. In general though, it's up to the individual if he or she wishes to discuss his or her sexuality or not. Sexual orientation has no bearing on talent. Stop the outings…. It’s wrong.
Well - first of all as any farmer will tell you, normal mammals are not heterosexual or homosexual. They are sexual. Especially the young ones really don't care who or what they fool around with. If this artificial division continues we're going to have homosexuals shunning other homosexuals for having heterosexual affairs. 'They're not GAY enough!' Get over it. All sorts of strange relations are really quite normal. It's society that sets the limits for various reasons, not biology.
The desire for sex is universal in normal mammals. Sure most of them eventually figure out it's more fun with members of the opposite gender - but members of the opposite gender aren't always available or cooperative. 'Couples' regardless of gender who choose to partner certainly deserve protection and legal rights but it is their choice to publicize this partnership or not to publicize it. The question I have is not 'who is Gay' because under the right circumstances most would be at some time in their lives if there were no stigma involved, but rather 'Who cares?' And who should care??? We're a bunch of voyeurs it appears. We want to look into everyone's business even when it's none of our business.
And while we're at it government has no business being involved in 'marriage' anyway. Let's strive for legal civil unions between any two people who desire them, that provide for medical care, hospital visitation, inheritance and so on, and let the churches deal with marriage and religious commitment.
I have long since contended that humans as sexual beings should find a philosophy that fits the profile. this would cut down on sexual crime, 'extra population' a great deal of distinctive contrivance, and ease up on the clothing industry, who also press the biosphere with all the do dads and gee gaws. In fact if we could get it right about being a species and seeing if there were a non violent goal and purpose to life, most of the worlds problems would be on there way out. Who cares who has sex with whom? does it bother you, are you religionists passing judgement? Life is special and violent competition isnt. the joy of being can be shared with whomever one chooses. if the onus is off the rush and the guilt are too.
'Gay sex is gross'...
Is 'straight' anal sex also gross and a perversion? sex is sex.we are animals after all. get over it and do what makes you feel good as long as with consenting adults. Also, unles there are extrodinary circumstances, private lives deserves the respect of privacy
Why should anyone care about what people do in their personal lives! I am so tired of those who flaunt their sexuality. I don't care. Get over it.
Kevin Spacey gay? Never!
But please tell me why it's anyone else's business if a celebrity is gay. Should the choice of coming out be up to the individual star and not to some crusading lunatic who could ruin a star's life and reputation with an accusation?
So I say to all these people who think they can out anyone they like, mind your own damn business and keep your mouths shut.
I don't care who's gay or who's straight...AS LONG AS they're not telling me that one is better than the other...especially as long as they're not trying to amend my Constitution, or limit my options.
THAT'S the line in the sand.
its not right to out anyone for any reason. im gay, not closeted but I don't go telling people im gay. it doesn't matter unless im looking to date them.
Unless they are in close proximity to you, why would you care what someone does with their genitals?
Yes Kevin Spacey is gay. Spacey's homosexuality is legendary as is his refusal to come out. Spacey is the same guy that two years ago lied about trying to pick up a male hustler in a London park. Spacey first said the guy tried to rob him. Next, Spacey lied and changed his story saying he tripped over his dog. The tabloids had a field day because everyone knew what's he doing 4:00am in the mornning in a London Park. In London cruising for gay sex in the public parks is well known.
And to the straight people on this board its easy for you guys to say 'it doesn't matter.' Of course it MATTERS. Its gay visability and it shows young gay people and straights that gay people SHOULD NOT HIDE. TO HIDE MEANS TO APPROVE BEING ASHAMED OF YOUR SEXUALITY. Sexuality is MORE THEN JUST SEX!!! And I wish straight people would WAKE UP and realize that! Heterosexism is so powerful in society. We see heterosexuality everywhere on TV, in the movies, on billboards and in magazines. Where is the homosexuality? Where do our lives fit in? That's the friggin BS we get from society that our lives aren't as important or don't matter. AND OUR LIVES DO MATTER. But I think it just demonstrates your homophobia! There is indeed a double standard. Heterosexuality is the assumption society places on everyone until proven otherwise.Some straight people need to wake up some of your heroes are gay. A lot of heterosexual men looked up to Neil Patrick Harris he is an Icon and now its great that another young gay man came out of the closet. I am so proud of TR Knight, Lance Bass, and Neil because they are all YOUNG GAY MEN UNDER THE AGE OF 34. They didn't wait until they were old farts like Ian McKellan and Richard Chamberlain. When society sees young gay men out and proud it is POWERFUL it opens people's minds. These talented young men should be applauded they are part of a NEW GENERATION that understands gay people should not hide being gay. Its even more powerful that they came out because they ARE YOUNG MEN. Society has an intense hatred for the gay male especially the young gay male.
Your Talkback on this Story