Monsters and Critics Celebrity Digest (9/15/06)

By Stone Martindale Sep 16, 2006, 2:38 GMT

Italian journalist and writer Oriana Fallaci. R.I.P. EPA/STR

September 15, 2006: The best and worst of the celebrity and people round up, from all corners of the globe. This is the week that was:

Duane “Dog” Chapman and company have been arrested in Hawaii, and are being held in Honolulu. Unbelievably they will face an extradition hearing to Mexico under terms of treaties between the U.S. and Mexico.  Ain’t that a bitch!

R.I.P. Oriana Fallaci, Italian journalist who made the USA her second home, brave to speak out against misuse of power her entire life.

Brad Pitt goes to Toronto sans Jolie and der kinder…he mocks Gibson by silly photo op antics.

Borat causes big stink with apparently real country of Kazakhstan, most Americans thought it was fictional birthplace invented by British comedian and satirist Sacha Baron Cohen.

Christie Brinkley kicks Peter Cook to the curb.

Steve Irwin memorial service sells out, Germaine Greer fans PETA (People for ethical treatment of animals) say "he had it coming."

Godfather of Soul James Brown says Rod Stewart only cracker with soulful pipes.

Pete Townsend sings about dead celebrities like Doris Day, problem is, she's not dead.

Clooney combs hair, dons best suit and shames U.N. into doing something for Darfur.

Elton John "forgives" George Michael.

Germans stage crazy play about Princess Di that involves dwarfs and a man shaving his genital area on stage. 

Kinky Friedman speaks honestly and rationally, hopefully will win Texas Governorship to fill old shoes of the Late Ann Richards, redeeming state of Texas once again in the eyes of the World.

Dead real corpse stinks up set on location in Los Angeles for CSI: NY, Gary Sinise checks contract for odiferous extra bonus pay clause.

American stars avoid Canadian gift bags, too many tax issues.

Size 11 foot Paris Hilton on the Tara Reid train, is now denied second soiree entry.

Olsen Twins need to learn how to RSVP, they get denied too.

Kate Moss is rolling in dough, boyfriend Pete is a train wreck still.

Stephen Baldwin finds out what "sloth" means.

Eddie Murphy and scary Spice are on; Posh Spice is in NYC and is very orange these days.

Samantha Morton breaks very expensive chotchke in Elton John’s house, all hell breaks loose.

Brad Grey has scary parking lot encounter with Scientology goons.

Nightmare on Elm Street house with basement for "Freddie" Kruger. Spaulding Square fixer opportunity screaming "Buy Me, Buy Me!”  The actual verbiage from Real Estate ad, for sale in Los Angeles- really, not kidding.

Sean Penn smokes it up on camera inside prohibited area, Canadians wring hands.

Nancy Grace bulldogs a distraught mother on the air, mother kills herself, and Grace blames mother’s “guilt.”

Amanda Peet is pregnant, and Gwen Stefani has sympathy cravings for Pringles Potato Chips.

"I would venture to guess that the person who did the shooting in Montreal is reacting much more to the fact that they're not loved, and that they're having (an) incredible chasm and hollow desperate feeling of a lack of love," said Sharon Stone at Toronto Film Festival.  Really.

Anna Nicole Smith loses her beloved son Daniel, days after giving birth to new daughter.

Jim Carrey ditches his agency, in competition now with Steve Carell, Will Ferrell and the kid’s new fave, Dane Cook.

Ben Affleck wins awards, doesn’t want to talk about it with press.

Vanna White confesses to being a “Toe nail polish junkie.” http://smallscreen.monstersandcritics.com/article_1201537.php

Gay hustler Big Red details alleged wrestling match with Tom Cruise and unsavory liaison with Garth Brooks in new book in in progess: "Pellicano's Enforcer" by Paul Barresi. 

Sean Preston has new lil’ brother.  Irish twins, mama and papa K Fed may try for Irish triplets?

Joe Francis pays out for producer’s lack of minding the age-related details.

Hanoi Jane lectures wild ass underwear allergic Lohan for being a wild ass.

Brandon Davis and Lindsay Lohan are at same party in NYC for Fashion Week, no “Firecrotch” bombs were audibly hurled.

Osama Bin Laden may have a chance at dream girl Whitney Houston.

Pope didn’t get the memo to never bring up any historical passages or truths about Islam, Muslims go ape sh*t, call Pope “mediaval” in his remarks then proceed to stone and light nearest things on fire.

Rosie O’Donnell polarizes American nation on “The View” her first week.