People Features

Hollywood Crimes and Misdemeanors - Chris Klein

By Robert Dixter Jun 24, 2010, 14:53 GMT

Chris Klein at Grauman\'s Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles, CA, USA © Tommaso Boddi / PR Photos.

Chris Klein is getting more press in the past few days than he has since he appeared in American Pie. The publicity is due to his arrest on suspicion of drunk driving on June 16. But as any Hollywood publicist will tell you the only bad press you can get is no press. Unless the press you’re getting is because you died, then it’s worthless press.

Chris was pulled over on the 101 Freeway in Los Angeles when he was seen drifting between lanes. His alcohol blood limit was over a .20. The legal limit is .08. Now, I’m no math whiz but that means he was tanked. This is Chris’ second DUI. He was arrested and convicted back in 2004, but just felt he didn’t really give it his all back then so he’s back for round two. His bail was set at $25,000 and because of his prior arrest California law requires him to serve a minimum of four days in jail if he’s convicted again. Even though Chris hasn’t starred in a hit movie in years, I’m sure he’ll be able to weasel out of the jail time like all other famous actors who get arrested. It’s really just how you talk to the judge.

Judge: Christopher Klein, you are to serve four days in a California jail

Chris Klein: Hey judge, how about I get you a signed American Pie2 poster?

Judge: You know Stifler? Can you get him to sign it?

Chris Klein: I can pull some strings.

Judge: I love that Stifler.

Chris Klein: I used to date Katie Holmes.

There is also a new law going into effect in July that says multiple DUI offenders must have an ignition interlock system. So if Klein is found guilty he’ll have to blow into a contraption each time he gets in his car and if he’s drunk it won’t start. With such advances, Chris might as well just ride around in KITT, then he could drink all he wanted and probably surf the net at the same time. Why is it so many Hollywood actors get pulled over for drunk driving? Can’t they call a taxi? And if they don’t want to be seen getting into a checkered cab then call a limo.

Klein has since checked himself into the Cirque Lodge in Utah for at least 30 days. Hopefully rehab will do him some good, and if it doesn’t well the beer in Utah is pretty bad since it’s only 3.2% alcohol.

Here’s the most interesting fact of the story, when Klein was tearing down the 101 drunk he had company in the car, his dog. Drunk driving with your dog? That’s more embarrassing than appearing in Say It Isn’t So. So now the group “In Defense of Animals” issued a statement saying “Chris not only put innocent drivers in danger, but broke a promise to be a protector and guardian to his pet.” I’m wondering who goes drinking with their dog? I know some people eat dinner with a pet, but who says “Hey Sparky, grab another milkbone and freshen up that breath cause we’re hitting the town tonight, and this time no bitches.” Really Chris, that’s just sad. Here’s hoping you get the help you need in rehab, but while you’re gone for thirty days, who will your dog go out drinking with?