Event recap: Heatherette at MAC Pro store: Trannies, Kat von D and cupcakes

By April MacIntyre Mar 21, 2008, 15:39 GMT

Richie Rich and Traver Raines - Heatherette... © Chris Hatcher / PR Photos

Last night at Los Angeles girl candyland M.A.C. Pro store on Robertson, the company celebrated Heatherette, two designers and makeup artists who have risen to a level of cult status: Richie Rich and Traver Rains. They were feted by the likes of Kat von D, Nikki Six, Jesse James, Kim Kardashian and every makeup junkie and tranny in Los Angeles.

People were insane for this stuff.                                    

Despite my being invited and on "the list" to cover the event, I had to cool my heels outside the Robertson Boulevard door until a dozen or so hefty cholalitas stuffed into sausage casing leggings and too tight tops with their skinny male escorts busting a full monty of face-paint exited the premise. 

Even then, two burly security guys held me back, saying I had to stand in the growing queue along the Boulevard.

Heatherette makeup is about bringing the Boy George out in you, with "droogie droog" tinged odes to "Clockwork Orange."  In fact, the entire event looked like a party scene from the 1971 Kubrick film. 

This collection isn't about making an average woman prettier or suitable for any real life events.  This collection was makeup as performance art - it's fantasy club party time / Halloween makeup for kids or stage performers who have the Diana Ross songbook memorized.

As I waited outside, nose pressed against the glass, one of the Heatherette models was putting on a show for me.  It was my private dancer moment. 

My dancer was marked up all over like a three-year old got hold of a Sharpie and traced his muscles then colored within the lines...

...then got mom's hot glue gun and attached sequins and gew-gaws to various parts of his anatomy. 

My dancer's bum was hanging out to the delight of everyone in the room who orbited his perfectly exposed moon in a "warm leatherette" trance. 

As if they had planned it, the moon was full last night. All so apropos.

Finally I was fed up waiting, and I casually sauntered in behind a green-lit throng of people pretending to be part of their group.  The trick is smiling big and nodding your head.  I'm not too proud, you gotta do what you gotta do!  I drove a long way and was hardly going to hang about outside all night.  

At last the curtains parted and I was inside "Oz." 

House music pumping, it was claustrophobia with a side of pink. Pink drinks, pink cupcakes and more pink drinks being served.  Everyone was high on sugar, brush cleaner fumes and gloss.  I hope to never hear the words "fierce" and "fabulous" ever again.

Vodka and cupcakes are the new canapes: They have replaced real appetizers of edible food at all these party events.

Even packed like sardines, with all the push-pull maneuverings I observed a longtime M.A.C. Pro makeup artist in his zone making up a woman while people craned their necks looking down the aisles to see the latest celebrity entering, and to get autographs from the two Heatherettes.

Everytime I turned around, I was stuck behind a giant tranny and her date - it was near impossible to see around her big hair.

After I realized there was no product left to even look at to assess the collection, and no M.A.C. parting presents to actually try the stuff (except a Heatherette coloring book and colored pencils!!), it was time to call it a night.