US News
By Karyn Chenoweth Oct 9, 2007, 0:46 GMT
Joey DiFatta withdraws from Bayou State senate race, caught in gay sex sting
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Older Talkback
I'm gay, and I agree with the other comments from gay people about this story - public bathroom sex is atypical. I've never done it, never even been remotely interested in it, and I don't know many guys who have done it. The only possible excuse I can imagine for it (that there's no other way for gays to find each other) was wiped out a decade ago by the Internet. The only people (gay or straight) who do it now are either clueless, or more likely they know perfectly well there are other ways to hook up, it's just that they get a thrill from the chance of being caught. For me personally, that's not thrilling, just stupid. And I can't imagine a less sexy place to do anything than a public bathroom!
Just to clue everybody in, the bathroom stall / gloryhole / anonymous sex thing is absolutely not limited to the gay population. As a person who is well-versed in the weirder aspects of human sexuality (book research, you perverts!) I can assure you that there are just as many straights doing it. There's a large population out there that's into this behavior and on both sides it's about 95% people who hate themselves (due to abuse, addiction, self-loathing or other psychological trauma), and 5% people who are perfectly healthy, sane adults who just get really turned on by the prospect of dirty, raunchy, anonymous sex. Some of the kinkiest people I know are suburban women with powerful jobs who like to unwind with some of the raunchiest sex imaginable.
But this guy? Larry Craig Redux...
it kills me with these anti-gay comments here. this guy was a prime closet case: two kids, a republican and everything. why do you think he was cruising bathrooms for sex? why don't you think he was acting like a rational human being, gay or straight? now this is quite obvious to me, but it probably has to do with the the fake life he was living. he had to seek out sex this way because everything about his public life precluded him from the normal dating process. sure there are people, gay or straight who get a thrill from public sex, but this rash of 'fine, upstanding' republicans getting busted in toilets has more to do with the anti-gay nature of their party affiliation. the hateful comments here demonstrate why this behavior happens, and apparently frequently among conservative republicans at that.
To ???? (Oct 9th, 2007 - 03:54:05)
> Why do gays resort to a public restroom to find sex?
Please bear with me, because I'm going to write something that may not be easy to understand. First of all, there's a difference between 'homosexual orientation' and 'gay.' An operational definition of homosexual orientation in men is 'looks at the cute guys walking down the street, not the cute girls.' The second term, 'gay', is a designation that *some* homosexually oriented men apply to themselves.
Or you might put the distinction this way: there's all sorts of guys who are fundamentally homosexual, but only the ones out of the closet count as 'gay.'
Sen. Craig is an example: When he vehemently denies he's gay, he's actually telling the truth, but if he says he doesn't have a homosexual orientation, at least part of the time, he's out of touch with reality. Or else he's trying to snow everyone. (It doesn't work.)
IOW 'homosexual orientation' does not equal 'gay'.
These dudes who are toe-tapping in public restrooms are imho pathetic closet cases who are so clueless they don't even know how to use the M4M section of Craigslist 'Casual Connections' to line up a little male nookie on the side. One thing they sure aren't is 'gay.'
There are a few gay men who enjoy connecting in restrooms but afaik they are mostly guys who came out of the closet in pre-internet days when the local public john was the handiest place to connect with like-minded men. They've simply developed a taste for cottaging and still do it, for whatever reason. Remember the old adage 'there's no accounting for taste.'
However, the vast majority of gay men these days are, as another reply said, finding their sex partners via the internet and can't be bothered with restrooms, parks, and suchlike places to connect with potential sexual partners. In fact, even gay bars are having a hard time, since they are no longer the only show in town.
This all translates into an answer to ????'s question 'Why do gays resort to a public restroom to find sex?'
The answer? They don't. Only closet cases and hypocrites resort to public restrooms to find sex.
If you don't believe me, go find news articles about police stings set up in notorious tearooms (as they're called) esp. in smaller cities and towns. The men who get caught always include an awful lot of 'pillars of the community' - politicians, lawyers, school principals, clergymen, and such.
Finally a little warning for those of you who dislike or even hate gays: careful research has shown that the stronger a man's homophobia, the more likely he's a closet case. Self-hatred is *exactly* the right phrase. So when you rant and rave about those disgusting fudgepackers (or whatever other perjorative term you like), you are giving yourself away.
Myself, when I see rightwingers' and fundies' rants about homosexuality, I figure it's mainly because they are obsessed with sex: they have dirty minds and can't keep their thoughts out of the gutter. Normal people, gay or straight, treat sex as just one part of a well-rounded life and don't obsess about it.
And especially, they don't obsess about other people's sex lives.
Gay men don't normally solicit sex in men's restrooms, at least not openly gay men. Closeted gays or men just looking for sex period do the Restroom Shuffle.
Sounds like his 'Trickle Down Theory' is dribbling off his chin.
Thanks for some explanations. I realize not all gay people are perverts, just like all straight people aren't perverts. I don't understand, though, why anyone in the public eye would resort to looking for a relationship in a restroom and think they would not get caught. Those people had better walk a very straight line if they expect to stay out of the news for all the wrong reasons.
What I want to know is, what kind of terrible thing does a police officer have to do to be assigned the job of sitting all day in a stinking bathroom stall waiting for someone to tap his foot?
What most people seem to be forgetting is not the 'gay' issue. The real issue is the hypocracy of these god-fearing, jesus-loving, bible-thumping republicans who will pillory everybody and everything, except themselves.
Silly me. I forgot that hipocracy is OK, when God is on your side.
I would just like to point out that 'gays' don't actually hook up in restrooms. It's pretty much just Republicans and Evangelical Christians.
What is wrong with republicans showing their brotherly 'love'?
I love all the comments on the 'gay' community. This issue has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with the straight 'republican' hypocrites who proclaim themselves as the moral majority and then tap there way to happyness.
Sad. Funny yes... but Sad. What's worse imo, is the American public that sees no issue with the right after all these scandals. But but but Clinton haha
I hope that deputy was wired. So we could all enjoy hearing that guy say 'I want to play with you' being played throughout all news networks. That would be hilarious.
Funny that those in this country who force their 'morals and values' are most often those who live secret lives behind closed doors..er..stalls.
Republicans give other gays a bad rep.
With all the back and forth blah blah blah I'm reading I have CUM too one conclusion. Either this is a conversation between a bunch of women or your all a buch of sniviling homos!!!!!
the conclusion is, you need to learn to spell! Most gays are reputable people. Of course there are the weirdos like in any group of people, but that isn't the norm. Reputable 'straight' people aren't cruising restrooms looking for their 'fix', and neither are reputable gays. Should all 'straight' people be judged on the actions of child molesters, wife beaters, etc.?? That isn't the representation of the majority just as the weird 'gay' people aren't representing their majority, just as Bush's actions don't represent all Republicans ~ we could go on and on - think about it!
OK, I personally think homesexuality is wrong, that's my take as a religious dude. As a guy, I think it's just nasty. But hey, one sin's no bigger than any other, they all make us sinners. So I ain't gonna judge, although please don't show me any photo evidence, I just ate lunch.
I also think that someone who is supposed to be running our government, even to a small, local degree, should have more common sense than this.
BUT>>>
I don't think people should be arrested for hitting on one another. I personally think the method is nasty, but what's so different from this guy trying to get his groove on and me hitting on some girl at a bar? You look for someone who you think is interested, you make a little move...sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.
The only crime I can see is if the guy touches the other guy's foot without being invited to do so. But this sounds a lot like entrapment to me. I've personally taken a dump in a lot of public restrooms, and there's no way my feet would be close enough to either side for someone to touch them without climbing under the stall. Chances are, the cop tried to give whatever non-verbal vibe he could to try to get some sicko to make his move.
Here's my question...who is the victim here? I haven't heard of any rampant foot-touching bandits out there, destoying America's innocence and preying on hapless public poopers. Yet, we're paying undercover detectives $75,000 per year to sit in stalls and wait for gay men who are looking to get some? Is it really THAT big of a public dilemna?
I think America can police itself in this regard...if someone tries to touch me while I'm pinching a loaf, he's going to wish he hadn't. End of story. Now go catch some wife beaters, drug dealers or gangbangers. Us guys in the bathroom, we'll handle this one.
I don't agree with most sting operations, and this one seems kinda stupid ~ although this type of action on the part of a public person is pretty risky at best - poor judgement. Do we need people in public office with this kind of judgement??? To me that's the main question here.
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