Belgrade - A bridegroom on a popular Serbian television
show brags how he slaps his bride now and then. The bride's mother
approves the 'educational measure' as something her daughter
'deserves.'
The bashful bride acknowledges, while looking adoringly
at her husband-to-be, that she can be lazy and disobedient and
should be hit in the face from time to time.
The scene from 48-Hour Wedding, a reality TV show that sets up
Serb couples for real nuptials, points to a less romantic issue in
the macho Balkan society: spousal abuse.
Domestic violence is the most common kind of abuse in Serbia and
every third women has been a victim, surveys of non-governmental
groups say. Laws have been tightened, but lenient punishment and a
patriarchal society remain hurdles.
'A slap in Serbia still isn't regarded as beating. To slap a woman
in the face if her husband is annoyed is considered OK,' Vesna
Stanojevic of the Consultancy Against Domestic Violence told local
media.
Many men in Serbia, unsettled by the nation's defeats in the 1990s
Balkan wars and crumbling moral values, believe women should stay at
home and take care of their men and children.
'Of course, beating is out of the question, but a slap now and
then - why not? She needs to know her place,' said taxi driver Pera,
who declined to give his last name.
Most victims are believed to be among Serbia's Roma population and
Serb refugees who fled to the homeland during the recent wars. But
the abusers can be found in all walks of life.
One woman spoke out to Deutsche Presse-Agentur dpa about her
dentist husband, refusing to give her name out of fear of another
beating.
'Where can I go? Whom can I turn to? Nobody will believe me. He's
a well-respected dentist and I'm his sweet, good-looking wife,' she
said.
'So I stay with him. Thank God I can't have children, so he can't
hurt them,' she said. 'But he hits me because I can't give him sons.'
Advocacy groups believe women report attacks by the men in their
lives in only one of 20 cases. There are no official data.
Vanja Macanovic of Belgrade's Autonomous Women's Centre blames
lack of cooperation among state institutions, slow courts and women's
fear of their attackers.
In 78 per cent of domestic violence cases, a husband, ex-husband
or partner is the source, the consultancy says. And domestic violence
was behind about 30 per cent of murders committed in Serbia in 2007,
data show.
The Belgrade Center for Human Rights says Serb judges are often
judgemental toward the victims and unlikely to remove culprits from
the home or issue restraining orders. Usually, offenders get one
year's probation or a fine.
Women who go to court are liable to be faced with months of
proceedings, with humiliating testimony to police and in front of a
court and perpetrators who accuse them of 'asking for it.'
Getting away from violent male spouses is also difficult. Serbia
has only three safe houses for abused women, though more are due to
be built.
In a country where democracy, rule of law and membership in the
European Union are goals for more than 70 percent of population, wife
beaters are still considered macho men.
'I tried leaving home and finding a job, but he'd always
find me,' the dentist's wife said. 'I tried fighting back but the
last time I did that, he broke my jaw and left hand.'
'Now I try to stay away and hope that he'll kill me the next time
he hits me,' she said.
Do you meanAug 2nd, 2008 - 02:33:38
that we can't do that here? What about my right to pursue happyness? If the bag mouths off, I am more than happy to put one upside her head.
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