By Mark Carroll Feb 1, 2006, 15:16 GMT
Mexican authorities discovered a tunnel last week that ran from a warehouse in Tijuana, Mexico to a warehouse in San Diego. This 2,400 foot-long engineering marvel was five feet high and as deep as ninety feet below the surface. It had a pulley system, cement lined floors, lights that ran down one of the walls, a groundwater pump, and pipes that circulated fresh air. Investigators believe tunnel construction began in Mexico in May of 2004 and that the tunnel became operational in November 2005. A Mexican drug cartel is believed to be behind the tunnel’s construction.
Having a healthy love of life and what I would assume to be a normal fear of dying, I am somewhat reluctant to criticize or in any way discredit the intelligence of a Mexican drug cartel (or a cartel of any other nationality for that matter), but I feel compelled to ask one question. Are you guys stupid? Do you ever read or watch the news? Okay that’s two questions, but seriously, what were you thinking? You don’t have to tunnel into the United States. You can do like everybody else and walk.
Could this be irrefutable proof that drug dealers have congressmen in their pockets? Would anyone else on earth, besides a United States congressman, waste money on such a useless project? According to investigators the tunnel was operational for less than three months. How much money was wasted on such a tremendous undertaking? Do drug czars sit on $640.00 toilet seats, too?
Alaskan Governor Frank Murkowski’s barrel of pork was recently discovered when someone realized that he was building his now infamous “Bridges to Nowhere.” One of the proposed bridges connected Gravina Island, which has a vast population of fifty, to the town of Ketchikan. The Gravina Island Bridge was slated to replace an grueling five minute ferry ride for a mere $229 million. The second bridge would have served as alternative route from Anchorage to a little used port for the small price of $223 million. Although some would argue that the tunnel had a valid destination and therefore would not warrant such a catchy name as the “Bridges to Nowhere,” surely you have to agree that the similarities are striking. Could Murkowski be wasting drug money now? Perhaps they missed his high profile debacle since they obviously do not read the news. It’s hard to understand how climbing eighty or ninety feet down a metal ladder to push your drugs in a wheel barrow half of a mile across the border would seem like a better idea than simply loading your stash in a Mexican Army escorted Humvee and driving across the border. How much is a payoff to President Fox anyway? I am joking of course. I would never imply that the Mexican President is for sale. The man has way too much pride to take a bribe. Just look at this quote by President Fox: “Mexico doesn't deserve what has happened to us. A democratic change is urgent, a change that will permit us to stop being a loser country.” Vicente Fox does not need me or anyone else questioning his ethics, what he really needs is a hug.
I have to admit, the discovery of the enormous waste of drug money did bring a smile to my face. I am, of course, not suggesting that the drug cartel’s lack of fiscal responsibility was amusing. It’s just a welcome relief to see other people’s money being spent on useless items like $436 hammers. Apparently, tax-paying, law-abiding citizens are not the only people who get fleeced. (Monsters and Critics' columns are written by outside contributors. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Monsters and Critics. In the interests of creating an open forum, we invite you to volunteer a regular column of your own. To apply contact the "submissions" department via this form. Please include an outline and sample.)
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