Nine - Movie Review

By Anne Brodie Dec 21, 2009, 9:48 GMT

Based on the Broadway hit of the same name. The film follows the life of a famous movie director and the many women in his life. ...more

I really wanted to love Nine given the heart pounding songs, the bringing together of the actresses who play the nine, and the sheer novelty of watching Daniel Day-Lewis in a light and frothy musical, singin’, and dancin’.  But it was not to be.  Nine is more to be endured than loved, sad to say.

The central idea is that a bevy of marvellous women are in love with Guido, a mother obsessed Italian director, who is experiencing a mid-life crisis that makes him unable to love or commit or even know what he wants.  Worse still, he’s creatively paralysed and unable to come up with more than a title (Italia) for the film he’s making, set to roll in a few days.  He actually runs away from a press conference where he was to announce that production had begun.

Guido seeks out medical advice, religious leadership and his wise best friend and wardrobe mistress (Judi Dench) but nothing can snap him out of the rut.  At first, his habit of running is entertaining and rebellious but as the film progresses, it paints him as a cowardly, self destructive head case. 

Day-Lewis’ Guido mopes through most of the film; he’s sombre, defeated and grim with the appeal of last week’s potato peels.  But the women seek him out.  That’s the weird thing- why is such a chick magnet?  He’s charmingly elegant, handsome, and powerful – or was. 

He has a strong and unappealing distaste for women.  And why not?  They throw themselves at him and cry and attempt suicide when he doesn’t pay attention.  Of course he hates them.  And since abandonment is part of his MO, why is he such catnip?  Oh, right, he’s a famous director.

Day-Lewis doesn’t seem the right fit for Guido and further, his unique brand is a tad tarnished by this tits and ass obsessed depressive.  Day-Lewis’ power is his interior roles.  Nine is as superficial and out there as it gets, and even with him in the lead, it has no heart, soul, or character. 

The women (Nicole Kidman, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, Judi Dench, Kate Hudson, Fergie, and mama Sophia Loren) are ideas of women rather than characters.  They are hidden behind walls of makeup, lingerie, and wardrobe.  Instead of acting, they pose and strut and turn back the hands of time to Hugh Hefner’s sixties, when women were puffed, powdered, padded, and ever ready for action when their master calls.  They more than verge on offensive, they wallow in it.

Some of the musical numbers are colossal.  Kate Hudson is especially winning in a sixties pop dance – you can easily imagine her mother Goldie Hawn in the part, and Fergie’s sultry (and sandy) sex romp is the definition of earthy.  Nicole Kidman’s tired of it all cinema queen is rather interesting as she has the guts to walk away from a situation she realises is going nowhere.  Cotillard is electrifying as Guido’s long suffering wife, even within the confines of the shallow script – her musical number is killer and she reveals again her natural born gift wasn’t a one off.

The film tends to drag at points and it wouldn’t hurt to lose a musical number or two, but overall, it’s a cartoon that is glamourous and gorgeous but flatly two dimensional.  Need to watch There Will Be Blood to erase the unholy taint of Guido stat.

35mm musical
Written by Michael Tolkin, Anthony Minghella, etc
Directed by Rob Marshall
Opens: December 25th
Runtime:  ?
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and smoking
Country: USA
Language: English