Did You Hear About the Morgans? - Movie Review

By Anne Brodie Dec 18, 2009, 15:34 GMT

The story follows an estranged couple who witness a murder in New York City and are then forced to relocate to small town in Wyoming as part of a witness-protection program. ...more

In the midst of the serious awards contenders of the past several weeks, Did You Hear seems like a harmless, funny bit o’ fluff to ease us nicely into the holidays.  Hugh Grant, that funny, edgy Brit, and Sarah Jessica Parker, the eternal New York urbanista eye candy are road trip buddies in a fish out of water domestic boondoggle, the ultimate hash of genres all balled up together.

Sadly it doesn’t add up to much.  The Morgans is a cliché ridden mess without a single authentic laugh and a heart as fake as spray snow.  It seems inevitable considering the sheer volume of generic traditions the film attempts to fulfill, plotting from A to B to C in what is rarely more than a roadmap.

A Manhattan real estate tycoon (Parker) is estranged from her lawyer husband (Grant) because he slept with someone.  He’s devastated that she plans to divorce him even though she strings him along, saying no while nodding yes, as she hides her own infidelities.  On the way home from a sexy candlelight dinner, they witness one of her real estate clients, knife in back, fall from the balcony to the street, right in front of them.  They escape into the shadows but too late, they’ve made eye contact with the shooter.

Police put them immediately into the witness protection.  Her client, a South American arms dealer, has powerful enemies who will kill them to prevent them from testifying in court. 

The Morgans board a government jet and land in remote Ray, Wyoming, horrified by the vast, natural expanse.  They’re underdressed for blizzards and unsure if they’ll ever see the lights and concrete of New York again.  There’s not a store in sight.
The kindly local sheriff collects them and takes them to a big box store where the city slickers marvel at low prices.  Funny how the other half lives, eh?  Once ensconced in the sheriff’s home with is gun slinging wife, they attempt to work out their marriage differences in high pitched yelling matches when they’re not reading up on bear safety.  Naturally, a bear shows ups almost immediately and more forced hilarity ensues. 

They’re under strict orders not to call anyone in New York or risk endangering themselves.  Within moments she calls New York. 

The script is 50% telegraphing, 50% actual carrying out telegraphed messages.
The depiction of ‘country’ is a corny as ever we’ve seen in the movies.  The standard sly jokes at country folks’ expense are all there - scary animals and scary outdoors, the nix on electronics, dumb citizens, bumpkin festivals, uncool rustic homes, meat eating,  cow’s rear ends, strong silent types and on and on.  Country people are unenlightened idiots as Hollywood keeps telling us. 

Actually city folk fare no better.  The two of them are ill equipped to handle life outside New York, she can’t milk a cow (ha ha ha) he can’t split a log (ha ha ha) and they are too sensitive and ‘talky’ (ha ha ha).  They’re vegetarians.  City folk are unable to adapt as Hollywood keeps telling us. 

The Morgans is an unfunny exercise in connecting the genre dots.  The poorly observed human behaviour, poor script and unenthusiastic acting are exasperating.  It has all the charm of a Franken movie, built by a committee with notes from the cliché handbook.  And yet, it had potential to be something fun.  Lawrence wrote the delightful Music and Lyrics and the Miss Congeniality movies but he’s dropped the ball with the Morgans.

35mm comedy
Written and directed by Marc Lawrence
Opens: Dec 18
Runtime: 103 minutes
MPAA: Rated PG-13 for some sexual references and momentary violence
Country: USA
Language: English