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Movie Review: A History of Violence

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By Joshua Tyler Sep 30, 2005, 10:37 GMT

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keironOct 3rd, 2005 - 21:58:24

It took me a while to surf the net to actually find an article that wasn't afraid to speak of the obvious flaws surrounding the plot, cast, and movie in general. After reading through a few reviews, most critics seemed to indicate that the movie was nothing short of a master piece, invoking such words as 'masterfully directed', and 'possibly the best movie of the year', and on and on, to the point I nearly gagged (slight exaggeration).
I would also like to add my own review of this waste-of-a-movie. To put it in a nutshell, at my recommendation, both my wife and I left the movie about an hour into the flick. The movie became so unbearable, and frustratingly unrealistic, that I found my intelligence being insulted by having to put up with such crap. Not to mention the fact that attending the movies nowadays is already reason enough to be upset. In any event, I am happy to read there was no saving this movie from beginning to end. On a happy note however, I was able to get a refund at customer service, which I will gladly use to see the next Hollywood flop.
I couldn't help but to summarize the major flaws according to yours trully:
1. First hour of movie had an incredibly slow pace.
2. We got the point that the two guys at the beginning are really bad, no need to show/not show them shoot a little kid.
3. The youngest daughter is way too cute and annoying as a matter of fact.
4. Why did all the family members have to come to her bed to make her feel better? Seems way too functional, and too ideal.
4. If the son were mentally challenged it would've been more believable, but casting a perfectly handsome and flaw-free kid to play the part of a nerd was pretty lame.
5. Nerds in high school usually have groups of their own, grant it they get bullied as a group, but seldom do you see them as isolated as this one was portrayed.
6. The bully was way too pretty. In a normal school, I'm sure his good looks alone would've gotten him bullied by real jocks.
7. Sex scene with the 69. Got me going, but seemed out of place with the plot at the time. Two conventional, small town folks, already married for a decade plus. Just didn't seem to fit the script.
8. As for the shootout at the diner, what's with that? Did that director really expect the audience to believe that two professional killers couldn't stick up a seemingly moms and pops joint? Furthermore, why would they choose to stick up a diner? It's not like there could be more than $300 in the till at best. How far would that have gotten the bad guys? One night, maybe two if at best.
9. What's with the black car? Seemed like it was the only black car in town. After a while I almost thought the movie was a car commercial.
10. The cast on Tom's foot was on when the car showed up for the first time (after the reporter truck left the house). Next thing you know, he's limping/running home for what must have been over a mile just two to three days afterwards.
11. Speaking of running home ... why? How'd he get to work to begin with? Did he get a lift in the morning? If so, why was the wife still in bed when he called from the cell? Not to mention, she has some crazy line like, 'are you kidding?' I mean, which wife asks you if you're kidding when you tell her to get out the shot gun that early in the morning. But to top it off, he limps home in the same time it took her to get off the phone, find the shotgun, load it and head downstairs. All of this while the son was just chilling having his breakfast, totally unaware of that his mother had a shotgun bracing herself in the living room. Must have been a regular morning in that household.
I think it was at this point I decided not to subject myself any further to this crap. Don't get me wrong, I've seen my share of bad flicks, but very seldom do I go to the movies expecting to see a decent film and walk out with such deep frustration, feeling like a complete waste of time. Speaking of waste of time, I think this is getting close to being that in itself, but I thought I'd spare you the $12 and a good two hours, and at best it might be worth the while seeing the rest of it on video.
Indeed one review I read turned out to be true. The feeling of HOPE at the end. But in my case, it was a hope that I wouldn't have to go through this kind of torture in a long time to come.

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JTOct 4th, 2005 - 21:34:32

Keiron: Many of your complaints would have been resolved had you stayed till the end of the flick.

Not all of them though, and those are the ones that I discuss in my review.

And speaking as someone married 7 years... long marriages do NOT equal boring sex.

In fact, a healthy, creative sex life is essential to staying happily married long term.

Happy couples who have only missionary sex once or twice a month do not exist.

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A History of Violence

Director David Cronenberg's new thriller A History of Violence stars Viggo Mortensen (Lord of the Rings, Hidalgo) as a pillar of a small town community who runs a diner and ...more

  • US Release: 2005-09-30
  • UK Release: 2005-09-30

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