Mather ZulacAug 13th, 2008 - 17:46:46

OK, so Dane Cook doesn't like the poster for this movie that he undoubtedly ruined by being in. But I like that he devoted a lot of time and effort to saying very stupid things about it. Such as:

'Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself really kicked the funny around.' Really? Kicked the funny around? Do people SAY that? It would be like Rachael Ray saying 'run a knife through it' when she means 'chop', but in this example, Rachael Ray has absolutely no idea how to cook.

'Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with
3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations.' Uh, what? First of all, there's a thing called a hyphen. Learn to use it. Secondly, the artist had to fulfill someone else's obligations? Do you know what that means? Cook is saying that the hostage-takers are obliged to do something, and they're making the artist do it for them. So who asked hostage-takers to edit the poster? And why couldn't they do it themselves?

'My left side looks like Brittany Spears' vagina.' If only. Also, if you're going to lamely mock a celebrity, doesn't it help to spell their name correctly?

'My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude.' It's called punctuation. Idiot.

'I'm also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.' I can turn my head 180 degrees too. It's not that hard. From 9 o'clock to 3 o'clock. Look left, then look right. 180 whole degrees! It's so freaky! The barn part I believe, because I can see someone growing up with no sense of humour that way.

'Hair: It's actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin'.' Two things. 1) Really? They took out your normal hair (which, by the way, looks way worse than this) and replaced it wholesale? I find that kind of hard to believe. 2) 'Noggin'' is an abbreviation for... what? Nogging? Again, the English-language skills on display here are incredible. If you don't know what an apostrophe is, don't use it.

'I set out to make a movie like the contemporary men and women, that you and I respect, are making.' OK, so is this a poor placement of commas, or is it just nonsense? Either one is a plausible explanation. Also, if someone is still making movies, they are our contemporaries automatically. It just means that we're alive at the same time.

What an idiot.

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JJloveSep 1st, 2008 - 18:38:28

'My Best Friend's Girl' is the funniest movie of 2008!!!

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MikeyOct 31st, 2008 - 18:41:33

I agree. The poster sucks compared to the movie. But you know what? If he really hates the poster so much, he should have just photoshopped himself into a new one and then posted that around town. I think that would have been HILARIOUS! While I was entertaining this idea in my head, I actually came across that Dane Cook might possibly be the host of the web series 'you suck at photoshop.' In this case, he definitely should have done an episode featuring that stupid movie poster.... But really, do you think he actually is the host??

mydamnchannel.com/Big_Fat_Brain/You_Suck_At_Photoshop__Season_2/YouSuck AtPhotoshop20_981.aspx

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